Sunday, May 16, 2004

The first season of Dawson's Creek rings bells...

I'm starting to believe that my life kind of mirrors the first season of Dawson's Creek -- not that I've gotten it on with a teacher before, however. Ick. Well, more than anything I think I resemble Dawson at these early stages of the show: emotional, unsure, kind of idealistic. Idealism...that's the part I really don't like about myself that I try to cover up with realism. I've been told I'm "not in touch with reality." What, am I going crazy now or something? Geez...
I don't know. I guess my recent failings to get over certain things just...I annoy people with my emotions, I guess. I can't keep things inside me; I need someone to listen. Writing helps to an extent. Then there comes the realization that I'm not really venting to something real, more like some abstract piece of paper on a computer screen. Bleh. The only thing writing on a computer is good for is prose and poetry -- and the occasional research paper...time to move on.
Went to a party (got out of work early tonight!) and performed a few songs in a little acoustic session. Needless to say, it sucked, haha. Well, the party didn't. I had fun. I noticed how bombastic and bubbly I can get, even when alcohol isn't in the picture. I think that when I drink I get more melancholy, and even more prone to the swings of emotions (mostly bad ones) than normally. What comes to mind is the time in Kiel with Sven and Tash...that was not an episode I care to repeat. Those had to be the worst let-down, hurtful feelings I've ever felt in my entire life. Of course, the alcohol in my system at the time probably didn't help matters at all...It's been awhile since I've had a drink, which is all right.
I couldn't bear to watch the beheading of the American civilian...I almost cried just listening to it and averting my eyes. I don't know what to think anymore. I don't understand how people, Americans or Iraqis or anyone could be so cold-hearted and vile. It's just evil.
Watched Quills today --finally. Sarah'll be proud of me. I agree, it was a great movie -- very sexually explicit, but hey, you all know I don't mind that. ;-)

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