Monday, November 29, 2004

One ray of sunlight

Well, I have to express myself in song yet again. There really isn't any other way to do it. Maybe you'll know what this is all about.
Goodness, sometimes things get bad,
But I swear I'm doing all I can.
So, try all you want to.
I'm gonna try too.

If I get one ray of sunlight to hold in my hand,
Maybe we can be happy again.
I'll try for one ray of sunlight to hold in my hand.
Maybe we can be happy, and then...

Things don't go as I planned,
But I swear I'm doing all I can.
So, try all you want to.
I'm gonna try too...

I hope, if this isn't the end,
Maybe we can be happy again.

- Phantom Planet, "One Ray of Sunlight"

Dignity and money

"MTV is popular fascism at its worst. MTV just doesn't care (and never has) about anything related to a big thing called talent!"
- statement posted at, an anti-MTV discussion site, 2000 [quote featured in my COM 107 book]

Thursday, November 25, 2004

The world is not enough

Happy Thanksgiving! In honor of Turkey Day, I decided to change the template around a little.
I'm home until Monday. We celebrated Thanksgiving here today. Nadja and I also watched Good Bye's been a long time since I've seen a German movie. I hope I didn't eat too much.
We watched old home videos. They say I looked thinner about two years ago. Man...That kind of hurts.
Tomorrow we leave for Buffalo to visit Grandpa Earl and Dolores. I never really like going to the nursing home. It's such a depressing, boring place. It's not that I don't want to spend time with my family -- I do -- it's just, so sad and boring, because all they do is sit around and do...nothing, really. I'll probably get a lot of reading done. Maybe I'll even read some for COM. I should probably also make up questions to ask some people for my newest story for the DO, which hasn't left my mind all week. Go figure; I try to relax at home and even that stuff won't cease to leave me. Oh well. It's my job, after all, isn't it?
Also in Buffalo, I won't have much of a chance to access the Internet. Randy and I really need to talk. He seems really busy at home, too, which saddens me. There's like this divide between us that's kept us from really talking, from saying what needs to be said and moving away from that, either in a way that strengthens what is left of what we have now, or in a way that causes us to move away from each other even more, possibly for good. I'm afraid of that second scenario -- very afraid.
I'm not sad or anything -- just melancholy. Actually, I'm pretty relaxed, happy to be home and not having anything to do. It's just -- I miss friends. I miss those connections. I know that, though, by going back to school I'll be going back to the work and the stress. Still, that's something I've grown accustomed to. Along with the work come the friends and the wonderful experiences that have made me who I am now and that will continue to make me who I'm supposed to be.
New favorite song: "The Professor" by Damien Rice. It's simply genius -- the perfect combination of amazing poetry put to an amazing musical background.
...Here's to the man with his face in the mud
And an overcast play just taken away
From the lovers in love at the center of stage.
Loving is fine if you have plenty of time
For walking on stilts at the edge of your mind.
Why the fuck is this day taking so long?
Well, closer to God is the one who's in love.
And I walk away 'cause I can.
Too many options may kill a man.
Loving is fine if it's not in your mind,
But I've fucked it up now, too many times.
Loving is good if it's not understood.
Yeah, but I'm the professor
And I feel that I should know...
What makes him tick apart from his prick
And the lonelier side of the jealousy stick.
I don't know...I don't know.
Hell, I don't know you anymore...

-- Damien Rice, "The Professor"

Wednesday, November 17, 2004

It's a Zen statement!

Well, where to begin?
I spent last night playing poker on Law 16. I just realized what a hilarious group of guys those are. A lot of good quotes came out of last night, including, "I'm trying out a new floor," and, "It's a Zen statement!" We watched Family Guy and Aqua Teen Hunger Force while playing -- well, we didn't really watch it, but whatever. Good times were had by all, including myself. I've found a floor to hang out on often.
John and I are trying to get Randy to come to Lawrinson tonight to celebrate John's passing his sight singing final. He's always so busy now, we hardly see each other. It's really sad. We live less than 2 blocks from each other (he can see my room from his) and yet we only get to see each other, at best, twice a week. This really should change, I think. I am afraid, though, about next semester, when everything takes a turn for the way more difficult. My schedule is going to be 3 times as full as it is now, especially if I get this asst. editor job at the DO. I registered for classes this morning -- my class schedule is also full. How will I fit it all in? Weekends will be heaven for me, I'm sure. But will that be the only time I'll see Randy? That would utterly and completely suck if that were the case. I ask myself, are we both willing to make it work? I mean, I am. Is he? I really care about him...but I can't fall in love with someone I never see...what's the most depressing is that we're not that far from each other at all. *Sigh* The drama begins. Somehow, though, I think it'll work out. Hopefully.
I turned in my second COM paper, which was really a continuation of the first, only adding in a few more aspects. I'll cry if I don't get better than a B on it, like I did last time. I'm pretty proud of the work I did on this one.
In one week I go home to celebrate Thanksgiving with the family. From Friday until Saturday, we'll be in Buffalo visiting my grandpa in the nursing home. I never really like going there -- it's really depressing and boring. I hate being around so much death and depression. Oh well. It's a family holiday, anyway.
There's less than a month until I turn 19. How odd is that? My birthday always sneaks up on me, especially since I stopped really celebrating it. To me, it's just another day on the calendar.
I have to go to lab tomorrow. It should be involved. Ick. Wish me luck. I'm kind of hoping I don't get a call from the DO tonight about a story, because I'm glad for the vacation, no matter how much I enjoy writing for them.
Hmm...that's about it. Watch the new Strong Bad E-Mail. It's great.

Wednesday, November 10, 2004

Good riddance

Amazing. This appeared in today's NY Times as the Quote of the Day:
"The objective of securing the safety of Americans from crime and terror has been achieved."
JOHN ASHCROFT, the attorney general, in his resignation letter.

I should really get on posting all those newspaper articles I've written, shouldn't I? They only keep growing and growing...

Wednesday, November 03, 2004

It's astounding

Well, the beginning of the end has begun. All I can say is that somehow, somewhere, sometime, shit is gonna go down.
In the meantime, though it might be a little late, enjoy these political videos involving the Rocky Horror Picture Show and Bohemian Rhapsody. I swear, they're both even more clever than the Jibjab stuff.