Tuesday, February 22, 2005

And suddenly you're in love with everything

Well, I'm feeling better! By "executive order," that is, as requested by Dan, I'm writing about my newfound optimism.
Dan and I went to our first couple enrichment session today. It was pretty interesting. We basically talked to this counselor dude about everyday stuff as well as our relationship. I think it totally broke the ice for both of us. Before, I felt like there was this big barrier between us. It was hard to communicate and I felt that some of the things he did or said meant something else. There are still issues to work out, but this enrichment thing really helped, even though we've only done one session so far. I thought it would be hilarious, but I actually took it totally seriously. Afterwards, I think we both felt like this giant yolk had been lifted off of both our shoulders. I'm much more optimistic about things from here on out.

Sunday, February 20, 2005

That may be all I need

To disappear would be ideal. I'm not liked. I'm desired. I don't like anyone. I may desire them, but I don't like them. Nothing is permanent. It all fades away. Nothing good lasts more than a week or two, then it's gone and it's on to the next thrill.
Now that I have found someone, I'm feeling more alone than I ever have before.
- Ben Folds Five, "Brick"
I've reached the lowest point. I'm sick and tired of seeing all these people's blogs/away messages/AIM profiles filled with things for their significant others and knowing that I have no one who writes or does those little things for me. It's those things, when done from the heart, that mean something to me. It isn't all about the physical aspect. I just don't know what to do. I look at people talking about their relationships, how happy they are, and I just get jealous, wondering where mine is...When is it my turn?
Here's to another relationship bombed by my excellent breed of gamete disease, and I'm sure when I'm older, I'll know what that means...Loving is fine if you've plenty of time for walking on stilts at the edge of your mind. Loving is good if you're dick's made of wood, and the dick left inside only half understood her...
- Damien Rice, "The Professor"

Tuesday, February 08, 2005

It's been a long time since I rock and rolled

Sorry, everyone. I know it's been awhile. I could have written more during vacation, and now that the second semester is in full swing, I find little time to write anything.
There's been a lot that's happened. I don't really want to go into it at length. Sorry.
My job at the DO started two weeks ago and has been wonderful so far. I have yet to see a check, but that's OK. At least I know I'll get one. The people here are spectacular and the work is great, besides the fact that I get home around 2am each night and wake up at 7:15am for 8am classes. It's a bitch, but it works. And, it's money.
Dan's coming in tonight to turn in a story. I haven't seen him in awhile. For those of you out-of-the-loop, he's the new objet de drool. Alex and I...well, that's what I don't want to go into great length about. I'll leave it at that. Anyway, I miss Dan. He gives me rides home from the DO each night, but those are short and impassive. I wish I could spend more time with him during the week. Weekends it's like we're hardly apart. Still, both of our schedules are quite busy, especially mine. 15 credits is a hard courseload to maintain when one has a job that goes from 9:30pm to around 2am Sunday through Thursday night.
Interested as to what my job exactly entails? Well, I'll give you the run-down on a regular night. I get in around 9:30pm (you know me, always on time), put my stuff by my desk, and normally check in with the news office. Then I go back to my computer and check to see if any stories for the night have been edited yet. If yes, then I look at them, edit them, and send them on to Elyse, the head copy editor whose position I might go for next year, if it's made available. She then edits them and design puts them into the layout. Regardless of whether stories have been submitted yet or not, I work on the Briefs section next, which means I have to go onto the L.A. Times/Washington Post news wire site and make a list of a few stories that I feel are newsworthy. I then bring them to Kovach, the head news editor, who circles which ones he wants for Briefs. I then insert them into the Briefs layout, creating my own headlines. I update the calendar on the layout, as well as the weather. This normally takes an hour. In-between, I take a look to see if any new stories have been added that I need to look at. Those always have top priority. After Briefs are done, I wait around for the rest of the stories and wait for design to create my "jump heads" on the layout, so that I can write them. Jump heads are the headlines you read after a story continues from the front page to another page in the paper. When all the news stories are in, have been approved by both Elyse and me, and I see that news has written their own headlines, I put the stories for the day on the DO website. When that, as well as my jump heads, are done, I'm free to go. Depending on how long it takes news to get all their stories in and headlines up, and how long it takes design to put up the text boxes for the headlines and jumps, I'm normally done around 1 or 2am.
Well, 8am class tomorrow. Poetry. As an assignment, we had to write an "I" poem. I just dug up one of my old classics, "Boy." You can read it on my website. We're going to analyze them tomorrow in class. It's such an amazing class -- more than worth getting up early for. In fact, I hardly feel tired anymore after waking up after 6 or less hours of sleep. Later in the day, however, I need a nice nap. Unfortunately, tomorrow I won't get a chance for that, since tomorrow I have a story to work on and classes spaced out from 8am to 6:15pm. Thursday I'm going to sleep like a baby. After getting through Wednesday, I always feel so wonderful, because I've made it over the hump. On Thursday I only have two classes and it's DO beer pong night, the end of the work week. Rob mentioned at the Sunday staff meeting that they're going to start doing Saturday afternoon beer pong. Iiiinteresting. Anyway, on Thursday, Dan and I are probably going to hang out. It's been awhile since we've really hung out. He said he's dragging me to the next SU basketball game. Should be fun.
In other news, Dunkacino has become my new best friend. All hail Dunkin' Donuts...
I feel like I've been neglecting my friends upstairs. Jordan comes in and chats once and awhile, but other than that, I feel like I have no time to go upstairs and hang out anymore. I miss everyone up there. That's another one of the downfalls of this job -- less time to hang out with my buds. Back before I started, I had all the time in the world, so I'd go up and visit. Oh well. This is now what weekends have become reserved for, right?
Damn story tomorrow. I feel like, every time I have one, it's just an extra burden on my day. Tomorrow's my busiest day. Tja, da muss man durch. I've done it before. I can do it again, can't I?
I miss Germany. Every day, I long more for it. Please, Lufthansa, take me home this summer...