Tuesday, May 03, 2005

Please elevate me

After two days of toil, my computer, which died around that time, has been resurrected at last.
Basically what happened was I (stupidly) clicked on a link that was sent to me by someone (who shall remain comfortably anonymous) over AIM. This link proceeded to download a program onto my computer which installe the StartWeb virus on my system, plaguing me with popup after popup and spyware program after spyware program. I was frantic to get rid of it all, but it seemed every time I ran my virus software or my anti-spyware programs, the virus would find a way to reinstall them back on my computer. I went so far as to go deleting registry files that my anti-virus software said were infected. This was what probably led to the ultimate demise of one of the most important system files on my computer, so that when I restarted the computer for about the 100th time, I got a black screen of death that said Windows could not start because this file was either missing or corrupt.
Long story short, I reinstalled an earlier version of Windows XP onto my computer, creating a second boot system. Luckily, all my files were still accessible from this system, so I quickly backed them up and tried going into MSDos to manipulate the registery files so that I might fix the system file and restart the original Windows operating system. Mind you, this all took place over about 36 grueling hours. Last night I stayed up all night toying with Dos, sadly to no avail. I slept restlessly for two hours.
During this time, I came up with a brilliant idea. Jordan had recently bought a new Dell laptop (which I dubbed "Fwankenstein"), and I figured that perhaps her reinstallation disc for her operating system would be compatible with mine, so that I could either repair or update my system and still retain all my files without having to reformat. Sadly, this was not the case. Her operating system software wasn't compatible to mine -- in fact, hers was actually superior. Frustrated beyond belief, I conceded and decided to wipe my hard drive clean and start over. After making sure I had all the necessary backup files, I did the horrible deed. I installed Jordan's version of Windows and began reinstalling system drivers and my old programs. Finally, around 5 p.m. today, I finished my work, satisfied at last. Jordan renamed my system "Gertrude." Now our computers are both as compatible as we are.
The moral to the story: don't be stupid and get a virus.
Truth be told, I'm happy I reformatted my hard drive -- There's a hell of a lot more space on it and no more odd programs and sole files that I don't need sitting around collecting dust. My system runs faster and I have only the programs I actually need on my computer.
My last official day as assistant copy editor was last night. Tonight: DO party.
"College is a sham."
"Lay your scrotum in my palm."

- R. Francis Howard


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