Saturday, July 16, 2005

It's really all about the moments

I think I figured out most of what I want to say earlier.
I've been doing a lot of thinking -- re-evaluating -- lately. Sometimes, some of the things I find in myself, I've become disgusted with -- ashamed of, even. I think on last night and how I wasted $20 on some cheap thrill, and the next morning I wake up after five hours of sleep and realize how stupid I am, and how ashamed I am of myself. I honestly don't know where all this is coming from all of a sudden. Mostly, I regret wasting all that money. I need it.
It's so hard to balance small town with city life. You have two different kinds of people telling you two completely different things, and you can't please either side. It's hard to determine what you should keep and what you should throw out.
Maybe this small town's just gotten to me. Maybe when I get back to school, I'll feel like I did before. Right now, I just feel like I don't have any of the answers, and they won't just appear and make me like those parts of myself again so I can go on being happy and content with who I am.

3 Comments:

At 2:21 AM , Blogger David said...

hi you are not alone.
we all have regrets and second guess ourselves the morning after. Keep your core values, learn from your conscience, take care of yourself. be well, and enjoy the good parts of life.

Shalom

 
At 8:53 AM , Blogger David said...

Hi
I am a reader of yours
and a writer as well
a human who cares out loud
and believes God makes a difference
in this world. I am a father to three amazing children.

 
At 11:58 PM , Anonymous Jordan said...

man what cheap thrill can you get for $20 nowadays? except splitting the bill for the movie, Denny's, and the condom?

:-P IM me sometime. I've got mad stories

 

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