Tuesday, September 27, 2005

When we break, we'll wait for our miracle

The colder weather is upon us, and we're all starting to forget the dynamic binds that we had all formed last year. We seem to be drifting apart the more the weather changes. The sun is still shining, but we're far from a rainbow.
It's hard to explain. Maybe it's just because I'm gone for most of the week, and because we're not in the same situation we were before, distance causing us to forget all the great things we experienced together. Maybe it's just because we're growing up, and with growing up comes moving on from what you used to know. If that's the case, there are some times I'd rather stay young, just so I can hold on a little bit longer and feel those emotions I felt back then with that perfect cast of characters.
Work has overwhelmed me, and slowly I can feel myself losing the joy I felt during the summer, when I couldn't wait to return to school. Don't get me wrong; I love being here, it's just sometimes the work aspect clouds my vision. I wish I could be around my friends more often, but then I realize that they have busy schedules too. It's harder this year for all of us to come together at the same time, which bothers me. Maybe that's why we're all starting to slowly forget. Forgetting means you stop trying to continue the relationships and dynamic you had before. It stops you from creating new memories to revel in.
But who knows? Perhaps something new will grow from this new disconnection. Maybe we'll find new dynamic relationships and grow up yet again. Maybe that's all life really is: a series of dynamic relationships you enjoy for a year or more, grow a little in, and ultimately drift away from after your growth with them is complete, only to find another set of people. I'd like to think this isn't the case. I'd rather some things just stay the way they are. But what if it could be better? Truth be told, I don't think it could be, and I don't want to know if it would. I felt good then -- why can't I hold on to it?

I'm thinking of getting drunk this weekend and text messaging Jake. If he responds in the same night, I'll call him and ask how his tour's going and what he's up to. Then again, this Friday I'll be at a Dashboard Confessional concert. I don't really think Jake would appreciate that. Maybe I'll ask him to send a free copy of the new Umphrey's McGee DVD my way.

Work has yet again taken over my life, both classwork and D.O. work. There are days when I feel like I'm doing more than well at my job, and then there are times when I feel I couldn't be doing worse. Right now I'm kind of in the middle, which is adequate. I felt like shit yesterday; now I'm a lot more optimistic. This week won't turn out that badly after all. Friday is just around the corner (even though it's only Tuesday now). Things can only look up. Besides, who else can say they basically get paid to hang out with their friends Sunday through Thursday nights and hold the title of head copy editor for one of the Top 10 best college papers in the country? Not many others, I'm sure.

1 Comments:

At 9:26 PM , Anonymous Kai said...

...And with the same amount of online readers as the largest university in the country's paper!

Yeah, things start getting bad when you have to enter "time with friends" on your weekly planner. But that's the way it goes when you take a lot of credits and do a lot of other things... You-D.O. Me-Target.

Dashboard Confessional? I'll side with your buddy there... Although I do like the first 44 seconds of "Hands Down."

I just bought Trey Anastasio tickets for 11/11 in Utica!

Good luck this week!

 

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