Tuesday, September 25, 2007

The world is such a wonderful place

I know, I know, it's been forever ... again. I've been plunged into this wild ride that is the first month of fall semester, and I'm enjoying it just about as much as someone with a severe case of senioritis can. It's been unusually warm in Upstate New York, I must say. Everyone around me complains, but I refuse to. First of all, I love warm weather, and in a month or so everyone (including me) will be griping about being waist-deep in snow.

I always used to love the onset of fall, especially back when I was at home. The leaves' changing colors was the first indication, followed by that distinct fall scent that permeates the air whenever you step outside. Then would come the distinct rumble of those big yellow school buses stopping on the corner of Church and Margaret streets, where I'd stood for the first time in September of 1991 for my first day of kindergarten.

Meanwhile, back at SU, the highlight of the semester seems to be a big project for my magazine article-writing class: a 2,000-to-2,500-word feature article that may or may not get shopped out later to magazines as a freelance piece. I'm doing my story on Tea Leaf Green, and so far have conducted some insightful interviews. The whole mindset I've switched on, however, has been giving me lots of trouble. Sometimes I just can't wait for it to all be over; I just want it to end. This mindset of workworkwork has me constantly trying to get things done well ahead of time so that I can have more time to relax later. But when I do get the (rare) chance to do something relaxing, I feel bad about it because I could be doing work. Having some downtime today, I spent it frantically thinking of things I could be getting done and fretting about it, because if there's anything I missed, I'll be rushing to do it the night before it's due and will get completely frustrated that I hadn't done it when I had this free time. It's completely draining. I wake up hours earlier than I should most mornings, as I drift further into that state of not-quite-awake-but-not-quite-asleep and my mind begins focusing on the things I have to do that day, running over lists in my head and obsessing about things I may have forgotten.

There's no time for anything, not even going home, which I yearn to do more than anything. Just a day or two, to spend time with my family and continue my quest to relive my childhood. It's strange how I feel most homesick when I'm here, at school. I never feel it over the summer, when I'm even farther away from home and for longer periods of time without going home. I'm so close here, and yet here is where I feel the greatest pull toward Thruway Exit 30. Maybe it's that mindset I mentioned. It's driving me mad.

I don't even know how this whole mindset started. I do remember experiencing near-meltdowns at least once every semester of my college career, and they're never fun. But something about this one seems different. It's lasted too long, and it's taken a toll on my psyche. Now that I'm healthier, taking vitamins and fish oil and what-not, you'd think it wouldn't be so much of a problem, but I'm going nuts here.

I guess that's why they say "everyone drinks in college." Without weekend time set aside for a small liquor-filled indulgence now and then, I'm sure I would be having that meltdown right now.

Ah, the weekend. Mine will be spent in Ithaca, for a seminar on "German mediascapes" from Saturday morning until Sunday afternoon. I'm going with an SU German professor and three other students. The best part is, it's all free. When I signed up, I figured I had nothing to lose. Professionals from German media companies and talks on German/U.S. media? Fits right in with my own interests, and with free food and lodging thrown in, I was sold. The weekend after that, I'm hoping my parents are going to their camp, and I'm hoping Darren can come up so I can show him the Adirondacks and maybe even do a little relaxing myself. It'll be nice for him to meet my parents, too. From the things I've told him, he really thinks my mom is a wonderful person. I happen to agree.

On top of everything, I've been hard at work as a senior editor for What the Health, working with four writers on stories for the "Get Well" section of the magazine. It's interesting being the one who shapes and molds stories instead of the one who hacks them to pieces for grammar, style and length. I figure it's good experience for me to be on the other side of the glass for once. It's also kind of fun, being a decision-maker, though I often doubt my leadership abilities. I guess when placed in the role, the human being is ever quick to adapt to accomplish the tasks set before it.


At 3:04 PM , Blogger SUnChilD said...

Hi, your blog seems quite interesting, I saw it under those interested in bohemianism, me too! =p I want to be a journalism major my self when I go to college next fall, do you like majoring in it?

At 11:26 PM , Blogger SUnChilD said...

Yeah I do like her. She has a soulful voice.
Well right now I'm applying to Northwestern and Columbia College Chicago. I've been working for an independent magazine here called Say What and a youth city newspaper called New Expressions at Columbia College, so I believe this is what I want to do since I've been doing it for years now. =/ I hope you land your job ^-^ I'll continue to comment, and your favorite book list is awesome! I've either read or have been wanting to read those books for the longest.


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