The Myriad

Something for everybody

2011-08-22T10:55:00.008-04:00

Ladies and gentlemen of the Class of '97: Wear sunscreen.

If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth — never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they've faded. But trust me. In 20 years you'll look back on photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked. You are not as fat as you imagine.

Don't worry about the future, or worry but know that worrying is about effective as trying to solve an algebra equation while chewing bubblegum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be those that never crossed your worried mind, the kind the blindside you at 4 p.m. on some idle Tuesday.

Do one thing every day that scares you. Sing. Don't be reckless with other people's hearts. Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours. Floss. Don't waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you're ahead. Sometimes you're behind.

The race is long, but in the end it's only with yourself. Remember compliments you receive. Forget the insults. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how. Keep your old love letters. Throw away your old banks statements.

Stretch. Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. Some people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don't.

Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees. You'll miss them when they're gone.

Maybe you'll marry; maybe you won't. Maybe you'll have children; maybe you won't. Maybe you'll divorce at 40. Maybe you'll dance "The Funky Chicken" on your 75th wedding anniversary. Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself, either. Your choices are half-chance. So are everybody else's.

Enjoy your body. Use it any way you can. Don't be afraid of it or what people think of it. It's the greatest instrument you'll ever own. Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room. Read the directions, even if you don't follow them. Do not read beauty magazines. They will only make you feel ugly.

Get to know your parents. You never know when they'll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings. They're your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.

Understand that friends come and go, but it's the precious few you should hold onto. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, for as the older you get, the more you'll need the people you knew when you were young.

Live in New York City once but leave before it makes you hard. Live in Northern California once but leave before it makes you soft. Travel. Accept certain inalienable truths: Prices will rise. Politicians will philander. You, too, will get old, and when you do you'll fantasize that when you were young prices were stable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders. Respect your elders.

Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund. Maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse, but you never know when either one might run out.

Don't mess too much with your hair, or by the time you're 40 it'll look 85.

Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting out all the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth.

But trust me on the sunscreen.

- Baz Luhrmann, "Everybody's Free (to Wear Sunscreen)", drawn from the 1997 essay "Advice, like youth, probably wasted on the young" by Mary Schmich in The Chicago Tribune

Been looking for a reason, man, something to lose

2011-06-18T13:37:00.004-04:00

Lot of uncertainty, lot of changes. I spent a lot of time playing and listening to this song today.

I know what you're thinking:
We are going down.
I could feel us sinking.
Then I came around.

And everyone I'd loved before
flashed before my eyes.
And nothing mattered anymore.
I looked into the sky.

Well, I wanted something better, man;
I wished for something new,
and I wanted something beautiful.
I wished for something true.
Been looking for a reason, man,
something to lose.

When the wheels come down,
when the wheels touch ground
and you feel like it's all over,
there's another round for you
when the wheels come down.

Know your head is spinning.
Broken hearts will mend.
This is our beginning
coming to an end.

Well, you wanted something better, man;
You wished for something new.
Well, you wanted something beautiful.
You wished for something true.
Been looking for a reason, man,
something to lose.

When the wheels come down,
when the wheels touch ground,
and you feel like it's all over,
there's another round for you
when the wheels come down.

- Foo Fighters, "Wheels"

All the wrong turns, the stumbles and falls brought me here

2011-05-24T12:20:00.002-04:00

Darren and I are back from a weeklong trip to Aruba, slightly more tanned and refreshed ... and engaged! Darren popped the question early in our vacation while we were kayaking on the ocean. I was super surprised and of course said yes. He gave me a gorgeous platinum ring, and right after he put it on my finger, I looked out into the ocean and pointed out two sea turtles swimming right by our kayak — a good omen!

So, the wedding planning has begun. I'm doing initial research and figuring out dates, location, budget, etc. It'll probably be stressful, but I'm hopefully giving myself enough time by aiming for an August 2012 date. Of course, I sometimes yearn to just have it happen right now, but I also want to have plenty of time to plan and enjoy our engagement. For nearly four years, Darren has been my best friend and partner in crime. I'm so excited and feel so lucky that we'll be able to be together for the rest of our lives.

When I awoke, I was on the onset of a later stage

2011-04-19T10:21:00.002-04:00

"You know that point in your life when you realize the house you grew up in isn't really your home anymore? All of a sudden, even though you have someplace where you put your shit, that idea of home is gone.

You'll see one day when you move out. It just sort of happens one day and it's gone. You feel like you can never get it back. It's like you feel homesick for a place that doesn't even exist. Maybe it's like this rite of passage, you know? You won't ever have this feeling again until you create a new idea of home for yourself, you know, for your kids, for the family you start. It's like a cycle or something. I don't know, but I miss the idea of it, you know?

Maybe that's all family really is: a group of people that miss the same imaginary place."

- Zach Braff (as Andrew Largeman), "Garden State" (2004)

Well, I figured it out from a fig tree

2010-10-05T10:32:00.006-04:00

Wow, I can't believe it's been all summer since I last wrote. These things sure have a tendency to sneak up on you. Time, seasons, holidays, birthdays and sunny days all seem to come and go with the snap of one's fingers.

Like fall. It must have been the two weeks I spent on a film shoot (my first big one) in Indiana for work in September that made me feel like half of my favorite season was already over by the time I got back. All of a sudden, September was gone and October was upon me, in all its chillier and rainier glory. Still, I love the feelings, the smells of fall, the changing colors and falling leaves, the preparing for the colder months ahead, the harvests and apple-picking and festivals. But, that feeling eludes me this year, probably because the hot, sunny, summer-like days spent in Indiana were an extension of sorts of summer for me.

And here we are now in the early days of October, autumn in full swing, and yet I find it difficult to dredge up those bittersweetly nostalgic feelings from the past that I seem to happily resurrect each year and that provide me such comfort into the winter months. It's a bit frustrating, but can you blame me, with all the other things — more tightly bound here, to the present — on my mind? Each day I seem to get more responsibility at work, which is much welcomed, and then there are the more domestic responsibilities and our everyday routine to care for and adhere to.

The one thing that hasn't escaped me this fall is that, as in previous years, I've once again brought out my knitting bag and taken up the needles. This time I'm working on another poncho. I had gotten two skeins of decent green yarn from Ocean State Job Lot, and then I had a skein of violet yarn laying around, so those are the colors that will go into my latest creation. It's a wonderful hobby to keep my hands busy and a great excuse to catch up on missed TV episodes.

Other than that, I put my foot down and booked Darren's and my flights for Tennessee early. We were too late last year and therefore didn't get to see his sister and her family at all (we were planning on going for Thanksgiving), so this year we'll be spending an extended Christmas vacation with them and celebrating Turkey Day with my family. I'm so excited to see the kids and Darren's hometown friends. It might be nice to escape the bitter cold for a while as well!

I saw you, you in me

2010-07-26T12:16:00.002-04:00

It's summer, yet why have I been getting these melancholy, moody feelings? Must be the heat — it's been a record-breaking summer for us here on the East Coast. Not that I'm complaining, though.

In the time between now and when I last posted, Darren and I have delved into the culture of South Korea. We've discovered and fallen in love with "Coffee Prince," a Korean drama (often called "kdrama") TV show that ran for 17 episodes in 2007 and focuses on a young woman who poses as a guy to be able to work at a coffee shop called Coffee Prince, where all the servers are men. She falls in love and yet must protect her secret while yearning for the truth to get out on her own terms. Through all this, she makes a friend in a 30something music producer who has relationship issues of his own.

This love may have indeed started when I happened to spy some Asian movies being featured in the on-demand section of our digital cable sometime last year. Many of the movies (such as "Oldboy" and "The Chaser," now two of my all-time favorites) were from South Korea, and not knowing all too much about or having had that much of an interest in South Korea before that, I watched a couple of the films and was very impressed. Now I'm constantly looking for the newest, best South Korean (and Japanese) movies out there. The pickings so far have been slim, but I get tips where I can. Perhaps I should start asking Darren's (and now my) Korean friends.

Perhaps it's the (very well done) dramatic ups and downs of the show that have awakened these moods in me, moods where one moment I'm happy as a clam, and the next I'm terrifically bored, stressed out to the point of insomnia or weeping without being sad about really anything at all. Could also be hormones (as it oftentimes is), but I won't even begin to get into that.

Along with our new love of South Korean television and movies, we've naturally latched on to Korean food as well, kimchi, of course, being the new favorite. We recently discovered a new Asian grocery store in the area, Reliable Market in Somerville, which offers mostly Korean and Japanese foods. Previously, Super 88 near Boston University was our only outlet for Asian groceries, and we found their kimchi assortment to be subpar. We took a trip to Somerville this past weekend and were very pleased with the selection of kimchi and other foods. We stocked up on a half-gallon tub of kimchi, some Shirataki noodles and some Korean barbecue sauce and were merrily on our way. (Darren, by the way, had been searching for a long time for some good Korean barbecue sauce, and I served it up to him last night on top of some thinly sliced steak I grilled on the new cast-iron grill pan I recently bought. He approved highly of it, though I'm not too keen on the taste of the sauce myself.)

The weekend before last, we went whitewater rafting. I'd gotten Darren a gift certificate for his birthday, so we used it on an intermediate-level run down the Deerfield River. It was very fun, though the length of the trip was a bit tiresome, probably due in large part to being exposed to the 90-degree sun for such a long time, but overall we had a good time. I think next time, though, we'll tackle the more challenging rapids upriver.

When reactions turn into hurricanes

2010-05-17T09:19:00.002-04:00

As usual, it's been quite awhile, and a lot's happened. We've lived through horrible flooding with (thankfully) all of our things intact, including our sanities. We've readied Darren's motorcycle for the riding season, and he's been busying himself with his newfound hobbies of automotive mechanics and carpentry. We've bought out all the Home Depots, Lowe's, Walmarts and Sears in the area with tools and other equipment, and that doesn't even include the online purchases and 35-mile trips to and from the Harbor Freight in South Attleboro. Even so, it's something he really enjoys, and he dives into each new project with a zest and zeal that I sometimes just don't understand, probably because I don't have any talent or interest in that sort of thing.

I've also taken a side job of sorts as a freelance transcriptionist for a company in California. The pay is great, and I set my own hours, which gives me enough freedom to do my full-time job on top of that, get household errands and cleaning done and still have some time left over for weekend plans. If in the far future if I have children and can no longer handle having a full-time job (I'd rather stay home and raise a baby than leave it in the care of an expensive daycare center, because we don't have any relatives around here who could take on the responsibility every day), this is definitely something I would consider doing to maintain some source of income for myself. The pay is awesome, and unlike most people, I'm sure, I actually get a lot of enjoyment out of the work. I used to absolutely loathe when we had to transcribe all our interviews in college for magazine feature articles for class, but that may also have been because I hate hearing my voice on tape. Now, it's like I get a peek into a moment in time in the lives of the people on the recordings I transcribe — people whose names oftentimes I don't even know. That part of it is pretty exciting, and I love typing, no matter what it is, so the job really gives me some good ways to spend some time outside my main job.

Not that I don't get a lot of enjoyment out of my full-time job as well! It's just a great way to supplement my income and have a little more cash to pay down my myriad bills: auto loan and insurance, student loans, credit card, cell phone bill and the like. I hardly live an "extravagant" or costly lifestyle — in fact, I probably spend a lot less than most people, since I rarely find an occasion to purchase stuff I don't need worthwhile. I think my spendthrift ideals stem directly from my parents' lifestyle: We rarely bought anything we didn't absolutely need, and my mom almost always bought the store brand of everything at the grocery store ("It's just as good as the name brand," she'd always say). We rarely went out to eat or got takeout, and as kids we never had video game consoles ("You have the computer. Isn't that enough?" my parents would argue — for us, it was not enough) besides our Game Boys, and we never really asked for toys or anything leisurely like that if it wasn't close to a major holiday or our birthdays, because we knew we wouldn't get it. At any rate, I'm glad I adopted those ideals from my parents; I don't think I could ever live life any other way. Where many people feel a rush at buying a big-ticket item, I feel mostly remorse that I spent all that money. I'm constantly weighing the benefits versus the monetary cost of any purchase: how much I'll probably use it versus how much it costs.

There are some drawbacks to my side job, however, in that tax deductions aren't taken out of my weekly income. I'll have to pay them all at once next year when I file my taxes, and since the company's based in California, I'll have to file taxes in two states. With my extra income, I should hire a CPA to do it for me!

I miss the comfort of my mother and the weight of the world

2010-03-05T14:17:00.004-05:00

After receiving our new Tempur-Pedic Cloud Supreme, we discovered — much to our shock and dismay — that the slats in our bedframe were horribly curved, and some were cracked and disheveled. Many of the legs holding up the slats didn't even properly touch the floor! There was no way we could keep the slats and have our Tempur-Pedic warranty be valid. So Darren put his carpentry cap on and went to Lowe's to get some nice, medium-grade wood and a bunch of supplies and tools (including a handsaw, probably one of the last things he needs to complete his toolset, which I'm sure will actually never be complete) to build a new platform. The "slats" he got weren't really slats, because they're much thicker in width. He even got some wood cut to make legs and got some other items to make studs to go in the legs. He devised a plan — a very clever one, I might add — to put varying numbers of washers in the legs, so he could vary their length based on where they would fit under the platform, since our floor is so obviously uneven, as evidenced by the legs from the old slats.

It took him all of last weekend — including the Friday he had off from work — to finish the platform. For one night, we had to sleep with the mattress just on the floor amid a pile of sawdust, wood and tools, but it was so great to see the finished product on Sunday afternoon. We documented this little "adventure" by taking a few pictures. I'm especially proud of Darren's work, because the new platform really came out great, and I'm glad I got to help, too. It feels especially sturdy, and it might even help to further reposition our backs to their proper alignment. I think I've adopted pretty poor posture sitting at work all day, and I've been getting backaches, so I really hope this will help.

This past week, in my spare time I've been scrounging around Craigslist and other sites looking for freelance work as a typist/transcriber. I've gotten a couple responses from places where I've applied, and I might have a gig transcribing one guy's audio journals. I really hope it works out — it sounds like a really interesting job! I figure it's a nice way to do something from home that I enjoy (which appears strange to lots of people, who absolutely loathe transcribing!) while making a little extra money on the side.

It's FRIDAY! It's supposed to be a really nice weekend, and warm, so I think we'll do some shopping and maybe something outdoorsy like jogging, playing tennis or getting our bikes out for the first time this year. It looks like spring is finally around the corner! I can't wait until it's finally here!

Good to know it's all a game — disappointment has a name

2010-02-23T14:59:00.002-05:00

It's been a month or more since I last wrote, mostly due to factors I don't care to discuss. This is my attempt to face my fears and myself and move on from there in the hopes of becoming a better, more mindful person.

I'm pleased and proud to report I did my state and federal tax returns (thank you, TurboTax!) and filed them more than two months before the April 15 due date. I got a healthy sum back from the government and used it toward Darren's and my purchase of a new mattress. We've had our old one — a generic knock-off from Bob's Furniture Outlet — for almost two years now, and after only a year it began to develop major depressions deep enough to be uncomfortable and cause back pain, yet not deep enough to be covered under warranty. Don't get me wrong: Bob's does have some great, rock-bottom prices on furniture, and we're quite pleased with the bedroom set we bought there, but they fall pretty short on quality, long-lasting mattresses.

For our new mattress, we settled on Sleepy's. With more than 7,000 locations, it's quite the mattress giant (behemoth is more like it), but they really came through with the offerings in their Presidents' Day sale. We decided a Tempur-Pedic would be the best for alleviating back pain, and its 20-year warranty is next to none. We've heard and read scads of good reviews from the Internet and through friends — it's pretty difficult to find any bad reviews of these mattresses anywhere — but when we tried out the model we'd been looking at, the Advantage, we found it quite hard and difficult to settle into. Not exactly the picture of comfort you see on those Tempur-Pedic ads. But then we found the Cloud Supreme, which is covered with an extra layer of Tempur-Pedic cushioning, which we settled right into in dreamy comfort. We immediately both knew this was the mattress for us. Though a bit out of our original price range, we bought it with the thinking that it would last at least 20 years and would be comfortable and could quite possibly pay for itself over time. We were giddy as schoolchildren after we paid for it and drove home knowing in a few days we'd be sleeping on a comfortable new Tempur-Pedic.

But that wasn't all. The Sleepy's Presidents' Day sale came with tons of other offers and freebies. Tempur-Pedic sets its own prices, and distributors caught selling Tempur-Pedic mattresses for anything other than the Tempur-Pedic-set price are forbidden to carry the Tempur-Pedic brand theretofore. Therefore, for us it came down to which mattress company offered the better incentives. Sleepy's was by and large the winner. We got free delivery, free removal of our old mattress, a free iPod clock radio, a mattress liner/protector, two Tempur-Pedic pillows and a Tempur-Pedic bear all for free. We really made out well with this purchase, I think.

In weather news, the temperatures have been above freezing, so there hasn't been much snow accumulation, barring a couple brief storms, including the one that was hailed by forecasters across New England as the "storm of the century" similar to the ones that buried Washington, D.C., but only dusted us with less than two inches of snow. The snow's pretty much all melted by now, which delights me in ways you may have difficulty imagining. It's been pretty sunny for the past week, and last Sunday, Darren and I tried walking/jogging around the Dedham High School track, but it was too cold and windy, so we briefly went to our gym just down the street instead. Now, the skies are cloudy with intermittent drops of rain, which is kind of dismal and depressing, but at least there's no snow/ice!

Back in Massachusetts, to your golden age, where they tuck you in at night

2010-01-13T14:26:00.002-05:00

My company's "holiday" party is upon us at last. I say "holiday" because, of course, the holidays are really over. We schedule our yearly company party always for mid-January, post-holidays, because everyone's always so busy doing this and that during the real holidays, so we want to make sure all our invitees are free to attend our party. I've only been to the one last year, the one I planned and organized myself, and I was so pleased and proud of how it turned out. I haven't been tasked with the job of Party Organizer this year, but I'm sure it'll be just as fun and enjoyable.

Of course, Darren was all set to accompany me (as he did last year), but unfortunately his friend's father passed away last weekend, so he's flying down to Memphis on Friday morning to attend the funeral. It was a last-minute decision, but I'm not cross. I understand how important it is for him to be there for his friend, and as he said, there'll be more parties for him to attend. We're both bummed that he can't be at my company party, but I know it's more important that he attend the funeral.

Of course, that also means I'll be at home by myself all weekend, which is also unfortunate, but I'm sure I'll find something entertaining to do. A bunch of "Dawson's Creek" and "Gilmore Girls" episodes, anyone? I'm taking Darren to Boston Logan Airport Friday morning and will be picking him up Sunday evening when he comes home. Though I'm sad he'll be gone, I'm still looking forward to the relaxation of the weekend. That's not to say, however, that weekends with Darren home aren't relaxing — I'll take any relaxing days off work I can get!

Life's for us to talk about

2010-01-06T14:10:00.006-05:00

Happy 2010, everyone! And no, I didn't pronounce it "twenty-ten," a pronunciation various television media outlets have adopted ... "two thousand ten" suits me quite well, thank you!

The holidays are officially over, and thus begins the long slog to spring. It's during this time that winter seems especially interminable and "cabin fever" develops. By that, I mean I become restless, depressed from lack of sunshine and too much snow, anxious for some days off work or a vacation to warmer climes. As it stands, I'm hoping we'll find some time — a week or so, maybe — to spend in Memphis with Darren's sister and the kids, whom we didn't get to see during the holidays.

A complicated snag prevented us from ringing in the new year elsewhere, but we had fun nonetheless. I was let out of work early, and I stopped by BJ's on the way home and picked up a bottle of red wine and some shrimp cocktail. I baked up some delicious pan de sal (not a traditional Filipino New Year bread, but a traditional Filipino bread nonetheless, and I was determined to make one for this occasion), poured us some wine, and we sat at our dining table talking for about an hour. It was an incredibly intimate and relaxing time, one I wish we had more time to share more often. It always amazes me how much we can talk about and how we never run out of things to joke about or discuss, despite our being together 2 1/2 years now. I know, some couples who've been together 50 years haven't run out of things to talk about, but for me, it feels pretty good.

At midnight, we watched the ball drop on TV and stayed up a little longer before collapsing in bed, barely believing we were already into the wee hours of 2010. The weekend brought lots of snow, which ruined our plans of hitting up the mall in Natick to spend some gift cards.

Darren's extra-long holiday break from work ended Jan. 4, but he's only gone for two days. Yesterday afternoon, he developed piercing stomach pains and left a little early. The pains continued overnight and all today. On top of that, the cough and stuffy nose he developed over the holidays, though it's gotten better, is still around. This morning, he slept in and scheduled an appointment with a doctor. He went in to work today for a few hours before the appointment. It pains me to see him so obviously suffering and in pain, and I want so badly to be able to help, but all I can do is suggest that he take medicine and sit by and comfort him. Maybe that's enough, but it isn't for me.

All you want is one more Saturday

2009-12-28T13:34:00.003-05:00

With my trip to Herkimer for Christmas revelry, the holidays for me have pretty much ended. And it's surprising how quickly this actually happened. It feels like yesterday Darren and I were at my grandparents' house in Richfield Springs, along with my parents, brother and aunt, enjoying some holiday ham, deviled eggs, French slaw (I'd never heard of this before but found it wildly delicious), green bean casserole (much to Darren's delight), seafood Newburg (with fresh shrimp and lobster) and two kinds of pie; opening presents; and collapsing into a heap watching the "Claymation Christmas" DVD I'd given my grandparents. It's with a hint of nostalgia now that I look back on those few days we had together without the stresses of work and household obligations hanging over our heads.

Even traveling was pretty unstressful. It took us about four hours each way, which pleasantly surprised me, because I was certain we'd catch tons of holiday traffic on the way home. The weather even cooperated, and much of the snow we'd gotten in Dedham had melted by the time we got back home.

The holidays were filled with the very things I love about them: the warm feelings sitting by the fire, decorating the tree, listening to holiday-themed music, baking delicious treats, sharing them with friends and family, choosing just the right gifts and seeing the joy on people's faces when they receive them. The one hangup I'm left with is that Christmas in my family is always a huge marathon of gifts. This year was the first year I truly felt I received too many. Seriously, I don't need this much stuff! I received at least two sets of winter wear (scarves, gloves, hats, etc.), and I already have one set from last year that I still use regularly! Darren also received gobs of clothing he already has lots of. Each post-Christmas period before the new year becomes a time of cleaning house: assessing the damage of this year's marathon and going through all the old stuff we have to see what we can get rid of. That stuff gets either thrown out or donated to the Red Cross, Salvation Army or other charity. It's not that I'm ungrateful for the bounty of gifts I receive from relatives each year — quite the contrary — it's just too much, and I'd rather share the bounty with someone less fortunate who can actually use this stuff than have it sit on a shelf, in a closet or in a dresser drawer, forgotten for all eternity, or at least until the next time I go through my stuff, which is about twice a year. Even more stressful for me than choosing just the right gifts for everyone and having them ready for Christmas is finding good ways to get rid of all the old stuff I don't need during my post-holiday clean-out. I've sort of taken Darren under my wing, since before we started dating, he was a notorious pack rat, and still is to an extent.

Still, I've been able to enjoy the gifts I received that I can actually use: a 1-terabyte external hard drive from Dad and Mike, a new lunch bag my mom included in my stocking and the pasta-making attachments Darren got me for my KitchenAid professional-grade stand mixer he got me last year. I got to work last night making some whole-wheat pasta, some of which I left in the fridge for Darren to make for his lunch today.

And so now that the whirlwind feelings, sights, sounds and smells that come with the holidays have gone, all that's left is the heartbreaking knowledge that at least 2 1/2 months of winter (and the potential for torrential snowstorms) remain, with no holidays to look forward to in the interim. Time to really hunker down and settle in to the daily (indoor) grind of work and household routine until the snow melts, the temperatures rise, the leaves reappear on the trees and the prospect of outdoor activities returns. After the new year, which I don't foresee being all that exciting, besides a party I may or may not attend, this is all I have to look forward to. Maybe some fun knitting will keep me occupied through the winter doldrums. Wish me luck!

I wanna relive all my adolescent dreams

2009-12-21T11:44:00.006-05:00

It's back for a short work week after a long snowstorm that blanketed Boston with about eight inches of snow. I was invited to a holiday party at Elyse and Mike's in Somerville, but unfortunately, the weather report scared me away. It didn't actually start really coming down until much later Saturday evening, but better safe than sorry, I suppose. Still, I really would have loved to be there! Darren and I had a little party of our own; we hunkered down in our little townhouse, played "Uno" and watched the last two episodes of this season of "Dexter." I also got to finish my gift for the company Yankee swap, scheduled for Wednesday afternoon at 4. It looks great and especially comfy and warm. I hope whoever gets it really likes it!

I've created a playlist in iTunes of four Christmas albums to bring to Herkimer when Darren and I head over on Wednesday evening for four days of celebration. It combines some classic stuff from Christmases past, as well as less -familiar tunes:

Alvin & the Chipmunks — "Christmas with the Chipmunks"
Frank Sinatra — "The Christmas Collection"
"O' Holy Night" (collection of instrumental Christmas songs)
Amy Grant — "The Christmas Album"

I might throw in Mariah Carey's Christmas album just for kicks — it's Darren's favorite.

Everyone loves a situation

2009-12-18T10:08:00.004-05:00

The tinsel's out, the stockings have been hung on the windowsill with care, and our little tree has made its yearly appearance, decked out in all its glory with lights and some new ornaments I received for my 24th birthday last Saturday. It's officially the holidays, and though the massive snow that occurred across New England a couple weeks ago has since melted (much to my pleasure), the temperature has not relented in demonstrating its own holiday spirit: chilliness and utterly icy winds.

I'm not complaining, though. At least the roads are clear and inside it's warm and toasty. We took my new car last weekend to my parents' house in Herkimer to show them for the first time, as well as to celebrate the day of both my and my grandfather's birth (I was born on his 60th birthday). Now, I'm not much of a birthday person, probably because I'm so used to celebrating it both so close to Christmas and on the same day as a member of my family. And this year, things were a little more dysfunctional than usual around the family table. What I thought would be a nice, cozy weekend getaway to celebrate my birthday turned into a mess of my parents arguing over the littlest things, my mom freaking out about everything being perfect, my dad yelling at my mom for freaking out, my grandfather making ignorant and bordering-on-racist comments (which made me extremely uncomfortable), my grandmother telling me and Darren we were being forced to attend church the following day, and my aunt being oblivious to it all and going on talking about God-knows-what above the clamor. Now, I'm sure this is typical with other people's families around the holidays, especially when they're all forced to gather together around the same table, but for me, it was more than I could handle. Usually, we all get along (for the most part) and are able to enjoy a nice get-together in the comfort of a warm and loving home. The addition of several rounds of booze for my grandmother, of course, helps keep things at their calmest. But this just frustrated me to no end, on my birthday, no less!

"Can we please be civil today, on my birthday ... please?!" I begged, but of course, everyone was talking over everyone else, so no one heard me. I felt most bad for Darren, who had to sit through it all and watch the spectacle right before his eyes.

I can only imagine what Christmas will be like at my grandparents' house this year. We're heading over on the evening of Dec. 23, as I'm on break from work from the 24th till Monday the 28th. Darren, the lucky bum, is off until Jan. 4, as his company shuts down completely during the holidays. I can only wish that things won't be as dysfunctional as they were on my birthday, but with the same cast of characters in attendance (with the addition of my brother, who will most likely steal the entire show, as he lives in Nashville and rarely gets the chance to visit the Northeast), it should certainly be a crazy extra-long weekend ... I'll let you know if Darren and I survive!

A thousand years in one piece of silver

2009-12-01T14:00:00.004-05:00

And a successful, relaxing and utterly enjoyable Thanksgiving it was! For the first time, Darren and I cooked an entire Thanksgiving feast and spent the rest of the day eating it and enjoying each other's company.

Our menu included, of course, turkey, more specifically a more than 13.5-pound bird I got pretty cheap at Stop & Shop. Those of you who will only buy fresh turkeys, heed the wise words of Alton Brown, who contests frozen birds are actually "fresher" than "fresh" birds, because while fresh (read: unfrozen) birds were killed earlier, frozen birds are flash-frozen, so when they're thawed, it's as if they were killed only a day or two ago, whereas "fresh" birds are killed and then shipped around the country to the grocery store, thereby losing its freshness with each hour it sits in a truck or in a store. Of course, if you buy your turkey from a local farm, that's the freshest you'll get, though you'll certainly pay more for it as opposed to a frozen turkey like I got. Unlike Alton Brown, however, I did not brine my bird, though some of my coworkers did, and they reported resoundingly positive results. The turkey we made came out with a nice crisp skin outside and a moist inside, and though my vegetarianism forbade me from eating any, Darren sure liked it, and he's been feeding off the leftovers ever since!

We also made a vegetarian bread stuffing, with bread taken from a loaf I baked up a couple weeks ago in our breadmaker, cubed it and stored it in the freezer. Combined with caramelized onions, carrots, celery and vegetable stock, it made a great main course for me.

Something I never really had regularly at Thanksgiving (I remember having it a couple times, but not too often) but was key to a perfect turkey-day meal in Darren's eyes was green-bean casserole. Naturally, his favorite part of the dish wasn't the beans baked in cream-of-mushroom soup, rather the crispy fried onions on top. I never used to like them very much, but I found myself eating them right out of the can this time! The dish itself turned out great, and it wasn't long before those leftovers were history.

Rounding out the meal were fresh-baked rolls (the dough made from scratch in the breadmaker) and corn, with from-scratch pumpkin pie for dessert. The rolls were surprisingly addicting, and I even baked up another batch a couple days later, after we'd completely annihilated the first.

Below, the glorious results of our three-hour cooking spree.

A note on the pie: I had put tin foil on the edges of the crust so it wouldn't burn, but some of the foil ended up sinking into the filling as it baked, giving it the look as if someone had scooped some out before serving! No matter — it was delicious anyway.

The roll on the bottom-left was Darren's own creation: a Mickey Mouse roll.

Green bean casserole — a staple at Darren's sister's house (his favorite part has always been the crispy fried onions on top) that never usually made the menu in my family. Thanksgiving holier-than-thous may balk, but I think this is a dish that will be making repeat visits to my Thanksgiving table for years to come.

The feast, showcasing the delightfully cooked turkey, of which I'm especially proud. I may not eat meat, but I'm pretty proud of my ability to cook it!

It wasn't a holiday filled with family and travel, but it sure felt good knowing we didn't have to drive anywhere or pack our bags and sleep in foreign beds in rooms I used to live in but are now practically alien to me. If you've never hosted a Thanksgiving at your own home — whether with family or just a small affair — I suggest you give it a try. You'll be amazed how good it feels to not have to load up the car, drive for hours and sit interminably in holiday traffic.

The rest of the extra-long weekend we could spend at home, enjoying the freedom of no work and the ability to take care of household chores while avoiding the holiday shopping masses at all costs. We even got to the gym on Sunday; it was great to be able to run without reams of people beside you, yukking and sweating up the place. I was actually surprised there weren't more exercisers there, eager to work off the gluttony of the holiday. We later discovered they were holding off until yesterday, Monday, usually the highest-trafficked evening of the week at our gym (and probably at most other gyms, too). I suspect it's because so many people allow themselves to "go wild" over the weekend, and a Monday workout is their way of making up for it. Instead of church, this is their weekly atonement for the sin of gluttony.

So, it's back to work in full force. For me, it's been kind of a relief, because most of the projects I've been involved with are coming to a close. There's always a short lull between the time projects end and new ones start up. Instead of slacking, though, I'm busy tying up loose ends and preparing myself for what lies ahead. I'm excited for the new projects I'll be working on in full force soon, and I'm proud of the work we completed on the ones I just finished.

A disco ball that's just hanging by a thread

2009-11-19T15:30:00.002-05:00

I have a car again at last! I settled on a dark blue 2007 Honda Civic LX coupe with 19,000 miles. The saga is finally over, as I just recently solved the last kink in the story: It needed new tires. Of course, I hadn't realized this when I got the car — I trusted Darren's evaluation that the tread seemed OK. But when we took it down to Rhode Island a couple Saturdays ago to have it checked out by Darren's trusty (and trustworthy) Honda mechanic, that was the only problem he found. It was a great relief, considering I had worried myself sick that there must be some catch to finding such a great car and getting it for such a great price though it had been sitting on the lot at the Subaru dealership I got it from for longer than a year. But what seemed too good to be true mostly wasn't, because try as he might, Darren's mechanic couldn't find anything besides the tires and the fact that I needed a new pollen filter.

It's a big relief that I once again am in possession of a car, and a really great one at that! Boy, am I sure glad I got new tires before the snow set in, though — ever since the accident with my poor Focus, I've been hell-bent on avoiding another one at all costs. And slipping and sliding around with bad tires on the snow and ice is one of the scariest scenarios in my mind. As if I didn't need another reason to utterly loathe Northeast winters ...

On the work front, I'm excited at how close we're getting to finishing up the Bowling project. I successfully coordinated and participated in a shoot in our studio with a pro bowler, the footage of which is being used in the graphic animations for our interactive project. It installs in Texas the second week in December, so we're getting really close. I've realized lately how much of my job is really about dealing with clients, explaining things, hearing their requests and finding solutions to fulfill them, all while keeping them happy and confident they made the best choice in awarding us the job. It's something I'm sort of new at, and it's a challenge since I kind of jumped in headfirst, but I feel I'm learning and have already gained some great experience that I can carry forth as a producer and project manager. I've got a way to go, however, and a lot more to learn, but I'm well on my way.

As the final leaves shrivel and weakly plummet from the trees, finally ceding prominence to the evergreens for the rest of the year, I realize how close I am to turning 24. I could hardly believe it last week when I was watching CNN and realized the date was Nov. 12, because I got this sudden realization that there was exactly one month until my birthday. Now, of course, it's three weeks. Each year, these holidays sneak up on me more and more. Someday it'll finally hit me on the actual holiday itself, and then I'll know I've finally lost it for good!

Speaking of holidays, Darren and I tried for weeks to find decent flights to Memphis to see his sister and her family for Thanksgiving, but to no avail. Flights this holiday season are just too expensive, and we didn't even consider driving; it just wouldn't be worth it. We visited them last Christmas, and I got on so well with the kids and the dog, Caleb, that I was pretty disappointed this year that we couldn't visit them for Thanksgiving. We had semi-promised over the summer that we would be there, but I think we're going to have to put off our plans until midwinter or spring. I definitely want to go visit them within the next couple of months!

My parents plan on going to Buffalo to see my nana (my father's mother, the last surviving 100% Sicilian member of the family) and my uncle at my uncle's new house. We're all pretty proud of him that he finally owns his own home, and I think my two cousins are pretty excited about it as well. He seems to be enjoying it so far, and I hope he continues to for a long time. Of course, Darren and I were more than welcome to join them, but Buffalo is a pretty long drive from Boston, and I've already explained how flying is also a no-go.

Aunt Mo, Grammy and Grampy are celebrating together in Richfield Springs, and we were welcome to join them as well, but then I thought about spending the holiday with just the two of us for the first time, cooking and spending the day together, enjoying a great meal and relaxing. It excited me so much that I wrote up a menu, detailing the ingredients needed, as well as the cooking "hardware" we'd use. Darren was equally excited about this prospect, so it was decided. It'll be different without the rest of the family for the first time, but we're a family, too, so we'll enjoy Thanksgiving together.

I've waited hours for this and I've made myself so sick

2009-10-30T11:00:00.009-04:00

My quest for a car continues. I hate being up against the clock on things like this. Newspaper deadlines and other deadlines at work I can handle easily — I usually complete tasks ahead of schedule and faster than many people's expectations. It's one of few things about myself of which I'm especially proud. But when I have to rely on others to get things done for me, and when I'm grasping blindly in the dark, unfamiliar with the process and not getting too many answers along the way, it's difficult to do things in a fashion timely enough for my own expectations, which I tend to set pretty high.

Such is the case with looking for a car. Perhaps my downfall is an innate character flaw I've possessed since childhood: Once I have my mind set on something, I'm locked in on it, and the blinders come up to block out any other options besides those that will get me closer to attaining my goal. If something comes along to make that goal unattainable, it's extremely difficult for me to change how I feel about it and to form new goals. It leaves me with a frustrated, disappointed feeling that my time before was wasted, and now I have to start all over and sometimes even do extra work to make up for this seemingly wasted time.

So now that I've got my sights locked on this one particular car, I can foresee it being very difficult if it turns out there's some innate, irreparable flaw in it that forces me to have to begin my search all over again. Starting a new search could take so long that I'd run out of coverage on my rental car, which ends next Friday, Nov. 7. Then I'd really be screwed. Without a car and without many options, I don't know what I'd do.

A coworker and friend of Darren's used to be a mechanic, and he graciously agreed to go with Darren to the dealership where this particular car is at 11 a.m. today to inspect the car for any potential underlying issues we didn't find when we test-drove and inspected the exterior of the car last week. The dealership is letting them use their service station to put the car on a lift and get a good look at it. Darren will then let me know how that goes, I'll make a decision, and we'll go back to the dealership when it opens Saturday morning to begin the negotiation process — should everything check out, of course. I've been approved for a great deal on a loan from AAA, but before I can close on it, the dealership needs to fax over a couple forms that can only be filled out after I've technically purchased the car, which brings up more unknowns and issues I'm not sure how to resolve, mostly because of my unfamiliarity with the whole process. I figure everything will work out. There must be people out there who have just as little an idea of how these things work as me, and yet they drive away with halfway decent (or better) pre-owned cars all the time — so why can't I?

Maybe I'm thinking about all this way too deeply, but I like to have a plan B (or C or D or even E) for every possible outcome, and usually the worst possible outcomes are the most difficult to invent solutions for, so I think about them constantly. I know, I know, you're going to tell me, "Liz, chill out already!" and you're right. I really need to learn to just chill out more, but every time I try to do that, I feel like I'm not thinking about something I should be or coming up with a solution to a problem still hanging out there. If I chill out, I might miss something important that needs to be addressed immediately, and I'd run into even more problems if I decide to try relaxing and not solve them right then and there.

By now you're probably convinced I'm just one big ball of stress, though I'd say that's only partially true. Deep within me somewhere, if I dig down enough, I can find a glimmer of hope that tells me everything will work out OK and soon this will all be over with and I can go back to normalcy. After all, things tend to work out for me in the long run anyway ... right?

You're hurt but you don't know why

2009-10-26T10:00:00.007-04:00

Sit and listen, my friends, to a horrid tale of frustration, hurt, anger and loss, all culminating in mixed feelings of yearning for what once was, yet looking forward to what will be.

Of course, this really has nothing to do with the tale I promised of my trip to Annapolis, which I'll quickly go over now. It's too bad that my other story trumps this one, as this trip was supposed to be a highlight of at least this month, if not this year, but circumstances have changed. Anyway, the trip was exciting and went well. It was great to see the exhibitry and videos I wrote scripts for in action at the Naval Academy -- I even got a couple photos taken by my Jim Lovell leadership video kiosk, which you can see below:

I'm actually pretty happy with how everything turned out. I got some great experience with being on the road and helping out during filming, and I think my boss was pleased with how I took copious, detailed notes and was always ready with whatever he needed when he needed it. Things went mostly according to plan, and I say mostly because there are always things that come up last-minute when you're on a shoot. It's just the way of the industry.

So on to my tale of endless frustration that's plagued me since Oct. 9, 2009. It was on that evening, a Friday, that Darren and I were heading to my parents' house in Central New York for our trip to the Fly Creek Cider Mill near Cooperstown. It was dark and drizzly, and I was driving my nice little red 2002 Ford Focus (with racing stripes on either side). The story behind how I came across that car is actually interesting as a side note. I bought the car from my father a couple years ago when I knew I'd be needing one for my internship at The Standard-Times in New Bedford, Mass., a little more than two years ago. We had looked around Herkimer for a couple weeks for a car within my budget (at that time, only $4,000), which didn't turn up anything that wouldn't require tons of maintenance and repair costs down the road. My father turned to Skinner & Damulis, a Ford dealer my grandfather had worked for and from whom my father always buys his cars. They had recently received a Saturn as a trade-in that they were willing to sell for exactly $4,000, but unfortunately for me, it had a manual transmission. We borrowed the car for awhile and I tried to learn stick but gave up after a week or two. At the end, I ended up buying that car for my father, who gave me his Focus, which he had bought from Skinner's a couple years before. At the time, it had about 75,000 miles on it, which was fine for me. It had been taken excellent care of, and I in turn did the same. I absolutely loved the car, despite it not having any bells and whistles. I was so proud of how well it ran despite its age and how many miles I was putting on it.

By the night of Oct. 9, 2009, the car had 111,456 miles on it, and I was certain it would last much longer if I continued to take good care of it. Traffic on I-95 and the Mass Pike from Dedham to near Worcester had been stop-and-go and all-out horrific. It had taken us about an hour and a half to go 30 miles. Around 8 p.m., near Exit 11 going westbound, we got going pretty good until traffic came to a complete stop up ahead. All the cars around me, including myself, slammed on our breaks to avoid hitting anyone in front of us. I was in the fast lane and turned slightly to the left to avoid hitting the Jeep Liberty in front of me. Luckily, I stopped in time, though I was deathly afraid I wouldn't make it. A couple split-seconds later, I heard screeching tires behind me, and a Honda Accord slammed into my passenger-side rear, jerking Darren and I forward in our seats and sending the car into the rear of the Liberty in front of us. The next thing I remember was the driver of the Accord pulling up beside us and mouthing, "Are you OK?" over to me. I nodded and pulled my poor, surely damaged car over to the left shoulder. The Liberty and the Accord did the same.

Long story short, a state trooper arrived and surveyed the damage. Most of the Accord's front was completely smashed in; the car would surely be totaled. As for the Liberty, I'd given them a small dent on the rear driver's side bumper, so they were able to drive off without anything further. My car, on the other hand, was completely smashed in on the rear passenger side, and the impact had caused shards of my car's body to puncture and pop my rear passenger-side tire. Strangely enough, the front of my car was completely undamaged, despite the small dent it had put in the Liberty. A tow truck came and took both my Focus and the Accord to a salvage lot. No one seemed to think the damage to my car would be enough to total it.

Understandably, this whole incident completely shocked and jolted me. It was the first time I'd been in an accident, so I was somewhat unprepared to deal with the rush of feelings and logistics to comb through that accompanied this whole ordeal. Miraculously, no one was injured -- I didn't even feel any whiplash the next day. Since all the rental-car places were closed by this point, Darren and I were forced to take a taxi from the salvage lot to a hotel, where we stayed the night. We got a rental car first thing the next morning and continued our trip to New York. I have the rental car even now, a 2009 Kia Optima.

I had my Focus towed to a body shop I'd received two positive, independent recommendations for. I went through the whole process of filling out an accident report, filing a claim with both my insurance company and the insurance of the person who hit me, and got the ball rolling on getting an adjuster out to assess the damage to my car. Unfortunately, much of this had to be done while I was on the road and on the job, which made me feel pretty bad, because I wished I could have devoted myself 100 percent to what I had to do there. (I don't think anyone noticed or complained, though.) Several phone calls later, an adjuster deemed my car a total loss. You can imagine the immense sadness and shock I felt upon hearing this news. I hadn't expected this result at all; I was counting the days until I would be able to drive my beloved car again. To me, it felt like losing a pet. That probably says a lot about how attached I can be to material things, but I think a lot of other people feel that way about their cars, too. To us, they're not just material objects -- they're friends, companions with whom we've spent times both good and bad and seen each other at our best and worst. We know our cars well: what makes them tick, how to maneuver and manipulate them just right, how hard to step on the gas or the brake. We feel they know us as drivers: how we react to others on the road, how hard we brake and accelerate, even what kind of music we prefer. So to me, it's natural to undergo at least some form of the grieving process when you find out the car you love is destined for the scrap heap. Even now, it's hard for me to imagine my car's body being crushed to a thin layer of metal and the parts (especially the nearly brand-new struts) being sold to the highest bidder -- that car, the first one I ever owned, the one I drove for more than 40,000 miles and which I was sure would run for much longer ... now it's gone.

The insurance company paid me much more than I thought I'd get for my car -- I got nearly as much as I originally paid for it. The title has been signed over to a salvage company, and I'm leaving work early today to go drop it off at the body shop, where it's still being held. The salvage company should come pick it up tomorrow. I'll get to see it one last time today, when I take everything that's left to take out of it, including my plates. It's kind of pathetic, but it brings tears to my eyes knowing that this will be the last time I'll get to see it, the last chance I get to say goodbye.

The insurance company is covering my rental car until Nov. 7 -- enough time for me to find, finance and purchase a new pre-owned car. From the start, I was set on a Honda Civic. Darren has a '98 Civic he bought new and has had ever since. It's had its share of problems now and then, but it still drives and rides like new. I want something reliable that looks nice and will last me a long time, and a Civic matches all those requirements. Darren and I spent all day Saturday test-driving and shopping around the greater Boston area for 2006-and-newer used Civics, and we found some pretty good ones. We'll be looking at one tonight as well, and after that, I think I'll be able to make my decision.

It's exciting to think about getting a car and looking toward the future, but it's also sad to know that my poor little Focus, which I loved so dearly and which would have gone on for so much longer had I not been rear-ended so badly, will no longer be there sitting in my driveway, waiting for the next ride.

The headlights are beacons on the highway

2009-10-02T09:07:00.005-04:00

It seems my future has taken a turn for the better. I've never felt as if I've ever been in control of my future -- it always hangs upon the whims and decisions of highers-up or of nature itself -- whether in my career, schooling, upbringing or anything else. But sometimes those decisions in which I have no say are ones I wouldn't have decided anyway, and they turn out to better my life in boundless, inexplicable ways. It may be an odd twist of fate or the planned-out thoughts of someone with my best interests at heart. Whichever it may be, it's the one time I'm most thankful for losing control of my life.

And so, for the first time I'll be going on a multiday business trip. From Oct. 13 to 15, I'll be in Annapolis, Md., for a shoot at the U.S. Naval Academy for a 10-minute-or-so film. We'll be interviewing midshipmen, teachers and filming around the campus. I'm really glad my first trip out in the field is to the Naval Academy: I really took ownership of that project -- if only in my own mind -- while I was working on it; and I especially took ownership of it from the time she left the project to the time Matt took the reins. Because of that project, I'm where I am today. Because of decisions made on my behalf, I associate-produced the project and gained the necessary experience to move up in the world and tackle even bigger undertakings.

I'm majorly glad it's Friday. On Mondays it always seems like the weekend is so far away, but it's never long before another one comes along. Fridays are always a welcome respite, as the weekend still holds so much potential, and you have that anticipation of what's to come and that yearning to finally get there already. Saturday's forecast predicts high 60s and thunderstorms, so I'm thinking that'll be a "stay in and knit" day. Those days are relaxing and can be fun (and Darren got a couple new games -- "Boom Blox" for Wii and "Gears of War 2" on Xbox 360 -- that he wants us to try out together), but I end up yearning for stuff to do outside. Luckily, there's Sunday, which is supposed to be nicer. Today's probably the best last day for Darren to take his motorcycle for a spin before tucking it in for the season, running anti-seize goop through its system and taking out the battery and hooking it up to the charger in our basement for the winter. It's the perfect day for him to put the lining back on the motorcycle jacket I got him and take "Ezzie" for one last spin.

Waiting for October

2009-09-28T10:08:00.005-04:00

I probably title a post at least once a year with this subject line, the title of one of my favorite songs by Polaris, the Mark Mulcahy band that played the opening song to "The Adventures of Pete & Pete," which ran on Nickelodeon in the '90s. Anyone who can attest to having seen that show knows the song and remembers the opening theme montage, with the band playing on the Wrigleys' front lawn.

Anyway, Polaris was only a side project for Mulcahy. His real band, Miracle Legion, hardly reached the fame that Polaris probably did, largely because of "Pete & Pete." I happened upon the only Polaris album ever produced, "Music from 'The Adventures of Pete & Pete,'" while in high school and instantly fell in love with it. I can only assume that all of the songs, as indicated by the album's title, are featured at one point or another in the television series, which ran for three seasons (35 episodes and a couple specials). As a side note, I bought Miracle Legion's "Drenched," and though its sound is a lot like Polaris (mostly because of Mulcahy's unique and distinct voice and musical style), it didn't impress me as much as "Music from 'The Adventures of Pete & Pete.'" For any "Pete & Pete" fans -- or even just plain old-school Nickelodeon fans -- this album is a must-listen, if only for the great music.

It's this third track on the "Pete & Pete" soundtrack that I'd have to say is my favorite. It's hard to describe exactly the feelings it evokes in me, but perhaps that's its biggest appeal. It's better to just leave it be and take it as it is than try to put a label on it.

They're playing in Central Park.
Check out him; he's shouting at the gate,
"Billy didn't tell you everything,
or did he mention the magic day?"

Well, I figured it out from a fig tree.
It's the chosen few all together in silk.
Now you've been bad for 50 years,
and now it looks like daddy's taking off his belt.

Waiting for October,
I cross my fingers, cross my heart and hope to die.
Waiting for October,
I'm in the book, and I'll be learning how to fly.

He's coming down, but he's not alone.
He's gonna bring an army of saints.
He's taking all his bags home
and then destroying what remains.

Waiting for October,
I cross my fingers, cross my heart and hope to die.
Waiting for October,
I'm in the book and I'll be learning to be wings.

Hoping that the end
will start it all again.

And that's when numeral history will die.
I said that's what was so right about the day.
'Cause it all ends in 1999
and commences on the 28th ...
- Polaris, "Waiting for October"

It was a rather uneventful weekend. We had plans to go biking in the woods with Igor but ended up going by ourselves. We wanted to go somewhere new, so we settled on Wompatuck State Park in Hingham, Mass. It's a web of trails for walking, biking, running and horseback riding. The scenery was beautiful, and we were surprised to see that leaves already blanketed the forest floor. It was hard, though, to enjoy the beauty around us, as we were going by it too quickly on our bikes. It was nice to get to use my mountain bike for what it's really built for -- biking in rough, hilly terrain, even though the trails themselves were mostly paved. I was happy to see so many trails available, so we can have some to come back and explore later, but the paths were so poorly marked, we had to stop every couple of minutes to pull out our map and see if we were on the right track. Good thing we had the map, too -- otherwise, we would have gone horribly lost for sure. Though fun to bike on (and we saw lots of fellow bikers as well), I'd say these trails are much better off for hikers, especially considering the beautiful scenery you don't want to miss and the difficulty navigating the many trails at faster speeds.

I've begun knitting again in full force. I'm already a quarter of the way through something I'm making for a Christmas gift. Darren and I went to A.C. Moore on Saturday to pick out some lovely yarn. Once I pick knitting up again -- and it seems to be a seasonal thing -- I always pick it up in earnest; once I start, I can't stop until the weather's warm again. That's one sure sign of fall, if anything.

I would return the favor, oversleep the rapture

2009-09-21T11:25:00.006-04:00

We watch the season pull up its own stage
and catch the last weekend of the last week
before the gold and glimmer have been replaced.
Another sun-soaked season fades away.
- Dashboard Confessional, "Stolen"

Today is the last official day of summer, though it feels like it officially left a couple weeks ago. The days have been warm, usually mid-70s, but mornings and evenings can dip to as low as 40. According to my grandfather, who makes a point to stay well-apprised of such things, the Farmer's Almanac predicts heavy snows and cold temperatures this winter. I figure once Halloween comes and goes, it's all downhill from there. Fall's pretty much over, and the holidays creep in and take over with the blowing and snowing and storming. Somewhere in between is Thanksgiving, but even then, it's not unusual for there to be snow as we're carving turkey with all the trimmings.

Luckily, though, Darren and I plan on being in Tennessee with his sister, brother-in-law, nieces, nephew, and Caleb the maltipoo for the November holiday. We haven't made any flight plans yet -- we never usually do until the last minute, much to my chagrin -- but that's the plan. I'm also hoping we'll get to spend some time with Brian and Neil, two brothers with whom Darren grew up while living in Tennessee. I'd also like to learn how to make Darren's sister's fabled cheese bread and get a proper lesson from a family friend on making traditional Filipino foods, such as pan de sal and adobo. Though with adobo, there really is no uniform, traditional way to make it. Every region in the Philippines -- more accurately, each Filipino household -- has its own way to make adobo, so there really is no "right" way to do it. All you need are the base ingredients (meat, vinegar, soy sauce, various spices), and you can pretty much make it up as you go along ...

And yet it's still pretty difficult for me to even begin thinking too in-depth about the upcoming holidays, though I know any day now they'll be at my front door, waiting for me to greet them. I'm just not ready yet. I'm still trying to hold on to summer, and this is my last day to do it. Still, the prospects of Halloween and the harvest time always fill my heart with nostalgia and all those bittersweet feelings and memories of falls past. I once wrote a sonnet about the season for a poetry class in college that I'd say is the best poem I've ever written. I happen to be on my personal laptop at work while I await the arrival of a new Macbook Pro, since my G4 has become too cumbersome to use, so I can access my treasure trove of poetry to post that very sonnet:

AUTUMN
And once the birds begin to dot the sky
as they make their way to southerly climes,
the leaves — those holy nymphs — cascade in reply
to the Earth as the big harvest moon climbs

in the sky at night. Below, in the dirt
under the aging, graying maple tree,
the children work with rakes in overshirts
to pile up the rocks and fallen debris.

The dying sky heaves and makes one last breath,
exhaling an outpour of icy steam
that signifies the land's impending death
and covers it with a shadowy gleam.

Through all of this, it’s the most peace I find
when watching changing colors of this kind.
(c) Liz Petty

Going back and reading my old poetry like this makes me realize how badly I need to start writing poetry again.

You can never see yourself ringing all around it

2009-09-01T11:33:00.003-04:00

Well, what an August it's been! My apologies once more for lagging in my updates. It's just that we've been running around, doing fun things and experiencing all this wonderful summer has had to offer.

First, my fourth host family from Germany took a trip along the East Coast, their first time in the United States. At the time they originally made their plans, they didn't know I lived in Boston, so when they sent me an e-mail letting me know about the upcoming trip and asking if it would be possible to meet up, I told them I was in Boston, and they altered their plans to spend a weekend touring Beantown with Darren and me. They were flying in on a Friday, and we were planning to pick them up at the airport, but unfortunately, their flight was delayed, and then a lot of planes (including theirs) were being diverted from Logan Airport to Albany, N.Y., where my family's plane landed briefly to refuel. This whole time, my poor family was still in the plane, waiting. After a couple more hours, their flight was canceled completely, and the airline would be providing a shuttle bus from Albany to Boston. At this point, Darren and I had been waiting at the airport (I left work early to go get them) for about five hours, using up meter time for both our cars in the (expensive) parking lot. My host family and I had been communicating the whole time via cell phone, so they called one last time to say it wouldn't be worth it for us to wait any longer and that they'd call us in the morning and we'd meet up then.

So that Saturday we spent walking all around Boston, seeing sights, visiting churches, shopping at Copley Plaza, viewing the beauty of the city from high atop the Prudential building, enjoying cakes, gelato and coffee at Mike's Pastry, and ending the night with dinner at Union Oyster House. It was so wonderful to see my beloved family again -- it had been about three years since the last time I was in Germany and stayed with them for two weeks -- so there was a lot to talk about (both in German and English!), and it was amazing how much the kids, now 16 and 14, have grown since I first met them six years ago.

August has also been filled with little excursions around Massachusetts: biking the entire 10-mile-long Minuteman Trail from Arlington to Bedford, attending cookouts at the house of one of Darren's coworkers, parties with my old Syracuse friends-turned fellow Bostonians, and riding on Darren's motorcycle. On the work front, I've been especially busy now with transitioning from my job at the front desk to a new position as associate producer. I received a promotion, and about a month later, we hired someone to replace me at the front desk. I moved yesterday to my new cubicle near the back of the office with the rest of the producers. I'm so excited for my new job and the responsibilities with which I've been entrusted. It's a lot of work keeping on top of things, but it's work I've grown used to even at the front desk, only now I won't be doing all the administrative stuff that goes along with it. I've been busily training our new girl, and she's really nice and seems like a pretty quick learner. I'm really glad the higher-ups chose someone who so far seems really qualified to take the reins and do all the tasks of an office coordinator.

The air already begins to smell like autumn. It's a very distinct smell, one I've become quite in tune to over the years. Like most scents, it's hard to describe exactly what makes it different from, say, the smell of summer or the smell of spring, but it's a distinct scent nonetheless, at least to my nostrils. After a week or so of excruciatingly hot weather, the climate has dipped to the mid-70s during the day, but true to fall's nature, the mornings are chilly. It seems the transition from summer to fall is coming rather quickly, without leaving any pause for consideration of how great a summer it was and skipping straight on to the next big thing. I relish the feelings and events associated with fall, but I wish there could be at least a tiny shred of summer left to hold on to, just for a little bit longer.

We all look like we feel

2009-07-17T11:58:00.003-04:00

Last Saturday found us all around the greater Boston area. First, we took the motorcycle up to Wakefield, where we hung out with one of Darren's new coworkers, Brandon; a visitor from his native New Orleans, Natalie; and a husband-and-wife team of Boston transplants, Tom from Phoenix, Ariz., and Emily, a school friend of Natalie's from New Orleans. We grilled in the back yard on Brandon's outdoor smoker, which he brought with him from New Orleans, and had a nice time sitting in the shade, talking and playing fetch with Brandon's dog. Later, we made plans to meet up in Boston to check out the tall ships. Darren and I dropped the motorcycle off at home, got changed and took the T into the city. We toured two of the stately ships, one from Romania and another from Brazil, and we took plenty of photos. They were all so beautiful, though I was a bit disappointed we didn't get to see more, such as the American ships. I read online there was even a German ship hanging around somewhere but never got to see it. Still, it was a great experience, and I'm glad Darren and I could share it with our newfound friends.

After that, we went to dinner at a very packed nearby restaurant Brandon had found, and then we took Natalie to Mike's Pastry in the North End to give her a taste of a Boston landmark. It began pouring just as we were leaving (the rest of the day had been gorgeous, especially compared to the past month and a half), so we booked it to the nearest T stop to head home. Our day began around 10 a.m. and ended by midnight, so you can imagine how exhausted we were. The next day, we lounged around the house like lumps without regrets.

And so we find ourselves at the end of another week, and already we have grand plans to visit the Narragansett beach house to go clamming, possibly spend some time at Scarborough Beach, and enjoy everyone's company. There was talk of possibly taking the motorcycle -- I bought a brand-new DOT- and Snell-certified helmet (for those of you unfamiliar with those, they give their seal of approval after exposing the helmets to rigorous safety and durability tests -- not all helmets are good enough to earn those certifications) that I bought on sale online. It looks really snazzy, with colors that match the motorcycle (red, black, white) and are bright enough to see at night. I also like the styling and the silver glitter. It's nice to have a helmet that finally fits me correctly; the one I was using before was a medium, and this new one is an extra-small. The old one used to slide over my face on the highway, so I couldn't see anything but the highway asphalt melting below us. This one feels much more snug, secure and comfortable.

Still, it might not be possible to take the bike -- regulations in the camping area are pretty strict when it comes to motorcycles, and the forecast predicts morning thunderstorms, and we'll be setting out early, in order to arrive around 9 a.m., just before low tide, the perfect time for quahogs. We'll probably do the usual as well: cookout, grilling, playing games. I always love going there, and I always feel welcome, almost like part of the family.

My helmet arrived a day earlier than expected, and now all I'm waiting for is a Marion Zimmer Bradley book from an Amazon.com seller. I figure it'll be great summer reading; indeed, I used to spend hours in the evenings of my high school summer vacations reading and rereading her Avalon books -- something about the word "Avalon" intrigued me, and as I got further into her mystical Celtic world of Romans, druids, priestesses and Arthurian legend -- half based on historical fact and fantasy, always concentrating on the women's perspectives -- I became engrossed in them. I've read probably her most famous novel, "The Mists of Avalon" (from which a TV movie starring Anjelica Houston, Julianna Margulies and Joan Allen was adapted in 2001), three or four times now. There was a time when I elected to reread it once a year, usually during the summer. So now I'm looking to continue a form of that tradition with "Ravens of Avalon," a take on the revenge taken by Queen Boudica of the Celtic Iceni tribe after her people were ransacked and brutally raped by the Romans. The book was actually written by Diana L. Paxon, a good friend of Bradley's who took over writing the Avalon books after Bradley's death in 1999. It'll be a much-welcomed respite from "American Psycho," which I dared to read thinking it wouldn't be as horrific and brutally gory as I'd thought. I was wrong, and now I'm paying for it, since I have about 60 pages to go and I just have to see it through or I'll feel bad. It's almost as torturous to read through to the end as the indescribably inhumane acts Patrick Bateman performs on his victims. The film is quite tame compared to the book; trust me.

It's official ... I'm in love with summer

2009-07-08T10:04:00.007-04:00

I'm so glad the weather turned out much better than planned for our trip to Old Orchard Beach! We spent the long weekend at the beachside amusement park and the Pier, munching on cheese fries and Pier pizza and riding the rides. We ate at a delightful vegetarian/vegan restaurant in Portland, a city I can only describe as "eclectic."

Portland's a much bigger city than I'd anticipated, a seaside city full of nice little byways, curious little nooks with local shops, restaurants, and clubs, including a cool, trendy little teahouse/foot spa called Soakology, where we stopped for tea on Saturday afternoon. Before we were seated at the vegetarian place, called the Green Elephant, we went down the street to the city square, where hippie street performers regaled an equally artsy/hippie audience with illusions and dangerous feats (walking on glass, breaking a cement block over a guy's chest while he lay on the broken glass, juggling lit torches -- one girl even hammered a giant nail through her nose into her face with a big mallet; I still don't know how she pulled that one off), including one performer getting a cake to the face and some audience members picking the remains off the ground and stuffing their faces -- literally. While I somewhat identified with the hippie and arty atmosphere, I failed to see the appeal in some of the performers' and audience members' behavior. Still, it was cool to hear seemingly live music broadcast through invisible loudspeakers throughout the square, people gathering and sharing in the freedom and limitlessness of it all.

On Saturday, we also hit up a water park, Funtown Splashtown, and got through every ride we wanted to go on except one when a storm passed through and temporarily closed down the rides. At that point, we had other things to do, so we left and stopped at an all-you-can-eat buffet in a building that actually used to be a schoolhouse, separated on either end into boys' and girls' sections. The dining rooms were transformed from old classrooms. It was really cute -- we ate to our hearts' content from the buffet and shared a boiled Maine lobster -- it was a bit smaller than I'm used to, but it was one of the most delicious, fresh lobsters I've ever had. After that, we went to the Portland Headlight, a beautiful lighthouse, where we took pictures and I got some souvenirs for my family.

We watched the fireworks from the beach at Old Orchard, standing in a group of people in the amusement park area right by the beach; it was the closest I've ever been to a fireworks show. I was surprised at how they did it -- instead of setting off one firework at a time with a "grand finale" at the end, it was just one long grand finale, with about 10 fireworks going off at a time! It was very impressive, but ended abruptly, since there really was no final ta-da. Still, it was beautiful, a nice end to our Fourth of July.

On Sunday, we checked out of our hotel in the morning and set off for York Beach, a town at the very southern tip of Maine that my mother's family has been visiting for about three generations now, always staying at the same motel right across from Long Sands Beach. I have many fond memories of going there with my family, grandparents and aunt, and staying the week, eating lobster nearly every night and feasting on freshly caught steamers, finding starfish and hermit crabs in the tide pools, and going to York Village to shop and visit the famous Goldenrod Kisses store -- where you can see them making the saltwater taffy right there -- and playing at the arcade. I also loved visiting Nubble Light in the evening, watching the sun set while a jazz band played. In bad weather, we'd go shopping at the Kittery Outlets, and in better weather, sometimes we'd go whale-watching nearby off the New Hampshire coast.

My mom and aunt had been going since they were children, and we kept the tradition going when my brother and I were children, though as we got older, it became more boring doing the same things every year. When you get older, it also becomes harder to meet new people on the beach, because kids that age don't really "play," per se, so the chance never arises that your sandcastle's structure may carry over to theirs, sparking a conversation or an argument that later turns into a friendship. But, even now, my grandparents -- and sometimes Aunt Mo, as such is the case this year -- make the trip each summer for a week or so, visiting the same sites and oftentimes the same people who also come each year and stay at the motel. It felt good to show Darren all these things from childhood vacations past, and he liked seeing the lighthouse; the water was absolutely, beautifully blue, and the sight of the waves crashing up against the rocks made a perfect picture. We drove through York Village past the Goldenrod, the other shops and Short Sands Beach. The weather the entire day was bright and gorgeous, with nary a cloud in sight. For a moment, it was as if I was a small child again, scouring the tide pools for sea creatures and lying on the beach, soaking up the sun.

The weather now is less than what it was last weekend, which leads me to believe a power higher than my own was involved in creating such a wonderful vacation for us ... or maybe it was just good fortune. Tonight, Darren and I will try to get into a screening of "500 Days of Summer," a film starring Joseph Gordon-Levitt (someone I used to have a crush on as a child during his "Third Rock from the Sun" days) and Zooey Deschanel (another favorite of mine, whom I loved in "Almost Famous" -- she also had a great four-episode stint on "Weeds"). I've been longing to see the Sundance film since I first heard about it a couple months ago. The trailer looks rather promising. The screening is first come, first served, so we're hoping to get there early enough to snag free passes.

Then, this Saturday, we've been invited by one of Darren's new coworkers to a cookout at his house. I plan on bringing some orzo salad and something else to throw on the grill -- some fish or seafood, perhaps. On Sunday, we're going to the Philippine Food Festival in Quincy, which we've been looking forward to for about a month now. And we want to try to fit in a trip to see the tall ships in Boston Harbor ... so much to do and only so much summer to do it!

The rain falls down and covers all of us in silver light

2009-07-02T14:54:00.004-04:00

The above title, taken from a little-known Dave Matthews song titled "Cigarette Lit" (it was cut from his solo effort, "Some Devil" [2003], and leaked on the Web), may imply there's something positive to all the rain we've been getting here in New England, and to some, that may be true. I, conversely, have had just about enough of waking up to rain and falling asleep to thunder and lightning. This morning, it seemed like night hadn't ended; it was very dark, and soon lightning flashed through the sky, rain pouring down as I drove to work. We've hardly seen a ray of sunshine the entire month of June, and the outlook for July isn't much better. And then there's August, when I've heard hurricanes will ravage their way along the coastline ...

At least thoughts of Darren's and my trip to Old Orchard Beach early tomorrow until Sunday somewhat ease my frustrations ... except I'm sure we'll get unpleasant weather there, too. Still, I hope it holds out long enough for us to be able to enjoy the two amusement parks and walk along the boardwalk and possibly do a little shopping. I can't wait to try organic green-tea noodles with "soy filet" (whatever that is) and vegetables in a miso broth at the Green Elephant vegetarian/vegan restaurant nearby. Our hotel, the Rodeway Inn in South Portland, even has a coffeemaker in the room, so I won't be wont for some caffeinated refreshment in the morning before we head out to see the sights.

I must admit, I'm getting kind of intimidated about posting now, as I've gotten some praise from admirers of this blog, bless them. It remains a mystery to me as to how they even found it, but I'm grateful nonetheless that they regularly read and get some sort of pleasure from its contents; however, that makes it harder now for me to write, since I feel obligated to make each post more delectably enjoyable and poetically verbose than the last! Forgive me, dear readers, if I ever let you down along the way!

Someone tell me why / did you have to go / and leave my world so cold?

2009-06-26T13:05:00.006-04:00

I suppose it's only right that I pay respects to the late Michael Joseph Jackson (and, less appropriately but no less importantly, the late Farrah Fawcett) with an entry title featuring his own lyrics (a few lines from "You Are Not Alone," one of his songs during my own childhood that I particularly latched on to). I won't devote a whole post to this strange realization of the "Rule of Three" (that is, the death of three famous people all within days of each other: in this case, Ed McMahon, Fawcett and Jackson), because I feel like the media, the Twittersphere and everyone else has covered and is covering enough of it already. Not that I don't mourn these deaths and sympathize with the families, friends and fans who survive these celebrities -- I just don't want to repeat ad nauseum what everyone else is already saying. Besides, it's kind of harsh to admit at this juncture, but after awhile, the constant barrage of news, tweets, tickers and articles kind of becomes too much, and soon enough you just don't want to hear about it anymore.

Back to last weekend: The trip to my old stomping grounds and my parents' camp in Upstate New York was relaxing and a fun getaway. We celebrated Father's Day, my grandparents' anniversary, and my grandmother's 81st birthday. One of my dad's friends from back in college whose family we kind of grew up with was present, as well as the usual suspects: Aunt Mo and my maternal grandparents. My dad's friend, Ed, had brought his yellow lab, Kovie (short for Shostakovich, the Russian composer), who surprisingly got along quite well with Maggie. Darren finally got his birthday present, a fishing pole and a tackle box complete with lures, sinkers, bobbers, and pliers. We went out in the canoe a couple times and tried our luck -- Darren nabbed over a dozen little perch, rock bass, and sunfish, while I just got one baby perch the whole weekend. The weather was cloudy and rainy for the most part, no different than it's been in New England for the entire month of June.

I really don't understand what's up with this dreadful weather. I heard on the radio reports that this whole month we've had less than a week of sunny days. I thought that after this week it'd be behind us, but looking at the 10-day forecast proved otherwise: more thunderstorms, rain, and clouds expected at least until next Sunday! Darren and I are hoping to do more fishing/canoeing with Igor and get down to Narragansett, R.I., to the Francises' beach house to do some grilling and quahogging again, but with this weather, it might only turn out miserable. We've also booked a three-day stay in South Portland, Me., for a July 4 weekend (we both get July 3 off since the Fourth is on a Saturday) at Old Orchard Beach. Also on tap is the Philippine Food Festival on July 12 in Quincy, which I'm especially looking forward to, because other than Darren's mom's cooking, I've never really gotten to have any authentic, traditional Filipino food. I'm sure Darren will enjoy the festival as well, since I'm sure he misses the real deal -- he likes what I try to recreate, but I'm sure it pales in comparison to traditional fare. We learned about the festival from an ad in Planet Philippines, a free newspaper featuring news from the Philippines that we sometimes pick up when we visit Super 88, the Asian market in the BU area.

Other than that, Darren's enjoying his job -- he got today off as part of the "980" plan. As for me, I just recently celebrated my one-year anniversary working at Boston Productions. I couldn't have wished for a better job right out of college, and I've learned and accomplished so much already. I have a feeling there's a lot more in store.

I'm waiting and fading and floating away

2009-06-18T14:54:00.003-04:00

What a week, and there's still a day left to it! Now that I've finished another script (my fourth for the Naval Academy, which I've taken over since our producer left the project last Friday, and my fifth for work overall), my mind is completely set on traveling to Herkimer tomorrow with Darren. We're spending the night at my parents' house and then driving up to White Lake to their camp early Saturday morning to spend the rest of the weekend celebrating a trifecta of events: Grammy's birthday, Grammy and Grampy's anniversary, and Father's Day.

The weather, however, had other plans, so I imagine we'll be inside for most of it. Even now in New England, the weather is shoddy at best, and it's supposed to stay that way for a while. I'm not too concerned, though; all that matters to me, really, is spending time with loved ones away from the hustle and bustle and not worrying about anything else.

Since taking over many of the responsibilities left to me for the Naval Academy, I feel I've risen to the occasion quite well as a quasi-producer. All requests and questions from editors or people we're working with on the project come directly to me, since the original inception was that I would be the one staying with the project throughout and as a direct liaison and assistant to the producer would be the most intricately familiar with it and which I think has happened. Along the way, I've gotten even more familiar with Photoshop and even got to write a few scripts. I can't begin to say how grateful I am to have the opportunity. It's given me a new goal: to eventually become a successful producer.

Darren has taken to his new job at Raytheon quite well, and last Friday was the first he was able to take off as part of the special hours they allow employees to work. Basically, if you work 80 hours in 9 days, you get the 10th (Friday) off. Darren's taken advantage of this plan, partly because the commute to and from Tewksbury and Dedham isn't so great. We've been talking more recently about starting to research the possibility of moving further north to somewhere between our two offices. I'm thinking Waltham ...

Pending a confirmation from my boss, we'll have July 3 off, since the 4th falls on a Saturday this year. Darren and I are hoping to spend the three-day weekend somewhere fun, a little getaway vacation. He mentioned Old Orchard Beach in Maine, somewhere I'd never heard of, much less been to. It sounds nice, though, and I really hope it works out ... and the weather behaves.

And it's only the giving that makes you what you are

2009-06-03T15:27:00.002-04:00

I finally got around to telling Darren's and my tale of California mayhem to Mom, Aunt Mo and Grammy, and now I tell it to you, in the same words I wrote to them:

Kristian, the first friend we stayed with in Lake Forest (about an hour's drive from L.A., but that's mostly because the traffic's always packed), picked us up at LAX around 11 p.m. PST. From there, we went to BCD, a Korean chain restaurant that specializes in hot soups (both in the temperature and spiciness sense). We got ourselves settled in at his place, which is in a large complex of apartment buildings and garages. I couldn't believe how big things are. The next day, I saw all the rolling hills and cacti and palm trees. It's a lot different from the Northeast! We used the gym on the complex and went to In and Out Burger, a regional chain that Darren loves and missed. You can get your burger and fries "animal style," which means with this Thousand Island dressing and caramelized onions and cheese and stuff. I wasn't quite clear what it meant, but Darren and Kristian loved it.

What we did on each day is really a blur now, so I'll do a summary. We drove to Laguna Beach (really ritzy, with tons of huge houses on a hill overlooking the ocean) and looked at the tide pools -- crabs, snails, hermit crabs, and anemones mostly -- and played frisbee on the beach. Oddly enough, it was still too chilly to go in the water, but we wore our bathing suits anyway. We walked around "downtown" Laguna with all the ritzy shops and restaurants.

We went to the Getty Center, which is this huge complex of art and sculpture galleries, gardens and cafes on this hill overlooking L.A. You have to take a tram to it, and it's all very well done architecturally -- they had a big-name architecht design the whole thing -- in white stone. There were fountains all over, and the white stone reflected the sunlight so much they offered everyone umbrellas to shade us from the glare. We looked through the galleries and walked through the gardens and took pictures.

We ate all-you-can-eat sushi at Minato with Kristian and his friend Henry. It really was a ton of sushi, and they just kept it coming, whatever we ordered!

We saw the Hollywood sign after driving along these hilly, winding roads lined with million-dollar-plus houses with beautiful hedges and flowers out front. We looked at the sign from a dog park, which was in the perfect location. We watched the dogs and couldn't believe people could hang out with their dogs right under the Hollywood sign!

We met up with Kristian's cousin in Little Tokyo and ate Japanese curry and perused the shops. I bought a cast-iron-like teapot with its own mesh carriage for the loose tea leaves. Kristian bought one of those cute wooden frogs with the little stick you rub up and down its back that makes a froglike noise.

We discovered Yogurtland and now want to open a franchise in Boston. We think it'd be hugely popular, especially in the university areas! It's a serve-yourself frozen yogurt place. There's a row of hoppers with different frozen yogurt flavors -- most of them nonfat -- and you get your bowl and go through and put as much in as you want. Then you get to choose however many toppings you want -- fruit, little chunks of cheesecake, or brownie, or cookie dough, chocolate chips, crushed Heath bars, nuts, anything! At the end, you pay 30 cents per ounce. We ate there pretty much every day -- Darren and I couldn't get enough, and I think Kristian and the other friends we hung out with didn't understand our obsession because they can have it whenever they want. The closest franchise to us is in Greenwich Village in New York City, so maybe someday we could open our own in New England ...

We went to Mitsuwa marketplace near Huntington Beach with Kristian's friend from work, Eugene, and Henry (who is Eugene's roommate). It's a big Asian market with a food court and a market. I got some loose green tea for my teapot and we ate stuff at the food court. Later, we all (except Henry) hit up Koreatown in L.A. for some live octopus at this Korean restaurant. It was kind of good we had Eugene with us, because he's Korean-American and spoke a little Korean, which you really needed to be able to do to get anything at the restaurant. They take an octopus and cut its head off, then they chop up the legs and serve you those on a plate with kimchi, rice, and the rest of the usual Korean sides. It was kind of fun to eat, and the little leg pieces kept suctioning to the plate, so I had to use my hands, and then they suctioned to my hands. I didn't even think of how possibly disgusting it was, because it was so delicious and fresh. Andrew Zimmern, eat your heart out. To end that evening, we went to a little Korean karaoke place where your party gets its own room to do karaoke, and you're charged per hour. We were joined by Darren's friend from Boston University, John, who speaks fluent Korean. We stayed with him for the rest of the trip. He lives in a suburb just outside L.A. proper with his roommate, Eddie. Eddie is from a pretty rich family, is 30 and owns his own business. He drives a Porsche and owns a yacht. On our last full day, we went out on the yacht in an area overlooking Long Beach -- really nice! The boat is 36 feet at its longest point and has a downstairs with a bathroom and bedroom and little kitchen, and the driver's station has a radar, fish finder -- all the bells and whistles. We did a little fishing, but didn't catch anything. It was so awesome being out on a yacht!

So that's our trip in a nutshell! I had such a great time -- you're pretty much guaranteed sun every day -- it's almost hard to get used to, but I'm sure I would never take it for granted. Everyone we hung out with was nice and fun -- I think Darren's friends really liked me! I really felt like one of them.

What I'd forgotten to mention to them was an evening trip with Kristian to the Griffith Observatory. There was a rather large lawn area on a hill overlooking the millions of lights emanating from the city below. Smaller telescopes were set up on the lawn; Saturn was the planet to watch that night, and sure enough, the telescopes gave us a clear picture of it, including its rings. But the big attraction was inside the observatory itself: the big telescope on the left side (if you're facing the observatory entrance) of the observatory that was the most looked-in telescope in the world. Inside on the main floor were various space-, Earth- and science-related exhibits that we perused before Darren and I stood in a snaking line for about 45 minutes outside in the cold to get in to add two more eyes to the number that have peeked into the famous telescope. Honestly, for me, the view of Saturn we waited so long for was no better than in the smaller telescopes on the lawn, but Darren was so eager to look through it that it was worth waiting so long. We barely made the cutoff in the line; docents had to start turning people away from the line because the observatory was about to close.

The place was packed when we got there, and we had to walk about 10 minutes to get to the observatory. By the time we left, the place was barren, but that did nothing to ease our walk back. I was exhausted when we finally made it back to Lake Forest; Darren and Kristian still had some life in them to go to Eugene's to play some "Street Fighter IV."

Seven oceans pummel the shores of the sea

2009-05-29T09:08:00.005-04:00

A long-awaited, detailed memoir of my trip to Los Angeles is forthcoming. Just hold on a little while longer! There's so much to be done in the meantime ...

Work consumed me once again as soon as my first day back. I came to my desk and found it littered with stuff people had rummaged through but failed to return properly. Boxes were piled up and sticky notes strewn across my desk with instructions and tasks for me upon my return. It was completely overwhelming seeing all that there -- so much stuff that I felt needed to be taken care of all at once and as quickly as possible. Still, I muddled through, taking one thing at a time, and soon my desk was neat and organized again, everything in its place.

Now, everyone's traveling (or in one of our editors' case, getting married and going on his honeymoon), and there are literally six people in the office today, including myself. It'll be a quiet yet busy day, with clients coming in for a meeting this morning and lots of images yet to track down for the Naval Academy.

I'm really looking forward to tomorrow, when Darren and I are volunteering at Earth Fest, an environmentally friendly fair and concert event sponsored by Whole Foods and Radio 92.9 at the Hatch Shell downtown. Our shift runs from 10:30 a.m. to 1:30 p.m. -- our job basically involves making sure everything that needs to gets recycled properly. There will be tons of vendors from all over offering free samples of their wares (free food!), and artists such as Soul Asylum and Shawn Mullins will be performing in the afternoon. As volunteers, we get a voucher for a free box lunch from a vendor on site, as well as a free T-shirt and wristband that allows us into the "VIP" section of the stage for the performances. I'm excited to help a worthy cause, eat lots of free samples (Barbara's Puffins was there last year when we went, and we won a free stuffed puffin and got lots of single-serving packs of Barbara's cereal; Clif Bar and Starbucks were also there, along with some other great companies offering organic pizza and chocolate, and Whole Foods was practically giving away groceries and environmentally friendly shopping bags), and finally see Soul Asylum in concert. If anyone's interested in this great event, please stop by the Hatch Shell tomorrow between 9 a.m. and 5 p.m. for some great fun, and don't hesitate to seek me out and say hi!

Sunday, I believe we're going biking again with Igor. That is, if Darren's stomachache allows him to. He started feeling queasy last night just as we were going to bed, and that feeling continued this morning. At first he blamed sour soymilk, but I tested it and ruled out that hypothesis. I really hope he feels better today -- we have a busy weekend ahead of us, not to mention Darren starts his new job bright and early Monday morning!

California, California, here we come

2009-05-21T11:35:00.003-04:00

It's only a matter of hours until Darren and I fly out to Los Angeles for our five-day Memorial Day vacation. We'll be staying with two of his friends -- one in Irvine, one in L.A. proper -- and engaging in lots of cool sightseeing, athletic, and culinary activities and adventures. We've been planning this trip for months and scored two direct flights from Boston to L.A. and back for relatively cheap, leaving us more money to spend on eating and adventuring. I promise to return with many exciting stories, and, I'm hoping, a tan ...

Besides finishing up things at work before I leave early today, I'm also in the midst of preparing for my fourth German host family's arrival in late July. They're taking a tour of the American East Coast and have changed their plans to make an extra stop in Boston to see Darren and me. It's so exciting, since they've never been to the U.S. before, and I haven't seen them in about three or four years. When I was first there as an exchange student six years ago, their son and daughter were 10 and 8, respectively. They're now 16 and 14! I can't believe they've already grown so much. I can't imagine what they look like and who they've become. I often think about my host families and friends back in Germany and wish I could go back to visit more than every four or five years. These days, it's especially difficult because of obligations here in the U.S. But this visit should be extra special, and I can't wait to share my own home country (and one of my favorite American cities) with them.

Memories fade, like looking through a fog mirror

2009-05-08T16:11:00.004-04:00

The weather has taken a turn for the best, and I really hope it holds out tonight for Elyse's birthday party. Honestly, I've been waiting all week for this. It's been awhile since I've gotten out and attended a nice function surrounded by friends. I think I sometimes take for granted just how fortunate I am to have so many of my friends from college nearby -- we all seemed to migrate to Boston. I know some of us had talked for a few years of moving out here, and now our dreams are a reality. I can't wait to add even more memories tonight to our already long list.

It's not really that great of a song technically or musically, but I've heard it so many times on the radio now I'm beginning to fall for it, as well as the band. The song is "Sometime Around Midnight" by the Airborne Toxic Event. It tugs on my heartstrings, leaving me with this pulling feeling in my chest. I've got to investigate the rest of the band's debut, self-titled album soon.

As you stand under the bar lights
and the band plays some song about losing yourself for a while,
and the piano's this melancholy sound check to her smile.
And that white dress she's wearing -- you haven't seen her for a while.

But you know that she's watching,
she's laughing, she's turning, she's holding her tonic like a crux.
The room suddenly spinning, she walks up and asks how you are.
So you can smell her perfume, you can see her lying naked in your arms.

And so there's a change in your emotions.
And all these memories come rushing like feral waves to your mind
of the curl of your bodies like two perfect circles entwined.
And you feel hopeless and homeless and lost in the haze of the wine.

And she leaves with someone you don't know,
but she makes sure you saw her. She looks right at you and bolts.
As she walks out the door, your blood boiling, your stomach in ropes.
And then your friends say, "What is it? You look like you've seen a ghost."

- "Sometime Around Midnight" by the Airborne Toxic Event

I also hope the weather stays good throughout the weekend. Either day (I'm thinking Sunday, which looks to be the best as of now), we're hoping to go for another bike ride with Igor. We were supposed to go last weekend, but postponed it because of the ominous weather, which actually turned out to be beautiful on Saturday ... anyway, the weather report was giving me the runaround, promising rain for Saturday and Sunday, but now it says it'll be decent. It better stay that way!

Fräulein Else

2009-05-01T10:02:00.006-04:00

It's May Day, and the weather couldn't be more miserable. At least it's not raining ... tomorrow, Darren and I plan to take another bike tour with Igor, Darren's former coworker at Analog. The weather for tomorrow forecasts morning showers and a mostly cloudy afternoon. I'll take clouds over rain anyday. That's what we have now, but I think it's supposed to rain later.

The metaphorical light that does shine through, however, is the fact that it's Friday. The weekend (albeit one in which the weather predicts no sun will appear) lies just within reach, and at the office it's a pretty quiet, slow day.

Some of my coworkers have gone to the American Association of Museums conference in Philadelphia, a trade expo where we've rented out a booth to showcase our company's talents and capabilities for museum curators and other special-venue representatives seeking to update or add new exhibitry, designs, shows, or signage to their spaces. We've created this pretty cool interactive postcard-creating program to give potential clients a taste of what we do and how we do it. I really hope we come away from the conference with a lot of new leads and a lot of new potential clients for some great work in the future. Of course, the economy has deflated potential clients' ability to secure grants to fund our work, and many can't find it in their budget to afford work like ours, but there is good work out there -- we just have to find it and snap it right up. When all's said and done, four of us are down in Philly for the weekend, working hard to snap that very work up.

I've been rereading "Fräulein Else," a novella by Viennese writer and playwright Arthur Schnitzler published in 1924. I took a German class at Syracuse on Schnitzler and fin du siècle Vienna and its impact on Austrian (and German) literature. This novella was one of the many Schnitzler works we tackled in the class, and it was probably my favorite German work I read in my entire four years in the SU German program. It concerns a 19-year-old young woman named Else. Written in a stream-of-consciousness style, the reader gets a firsthand glimpse into Else's innermost thoughts, wishes, hopes, dreams and sometimes delusions. She's a very dynamic and interesting character, especially when considering the time the novella was written. Freud's theories on psychology had a huge effect on the literature of the time, and Schnitzler's writing is no exception. "Fräulein Else" is riddled with scenes and thoughts that allude to Freud and his version of the psychology of women's minds and thoughts. In my mind, it's like a "Catcher in the Rye" with a female protagonist.

Our heroine meets a tragic end, but does she really? Because of the stream-of-consciousness voice of the entire text, it's difficult to tell exactly what happens. Nevertheless, I just reread this one passage of Else's oftentimes self-contradicting thoughts, and saw some truth in it. Schnitzler really is a brilliant writer. I highly recommend this novella, as well as his plays, "Anatol," "Liebelei" and "Reigen," all of which we also read in the Schnitzler class. If you're at all familiar or interested in Austrian turn-of-the-century history and literature, or just want an interesting read, even if just for entertainment and not academic purposes, check into the English versions of these texts. Of course, I've only read the German versions, so I can't attest to the quality of the English translations. If you need one, let me know -- haha. If you know German and want to tackle the original text, most of the full texts (now considered in the public domain) can be found on the Web. If you need translation of a passage or two -- seriously -- let me know.

Anyway, this quote from "Fräulein Else" really caught my eye. My translation follows the original German.

"Überhaupt ein anderes Leben anfangen. Das müssen wir alle. So darf es nicht weitergehen." - "Fräulein Else" by Arthur Schnitzler. Paul Zsolnay Verlag: Berlin-Wien-Leipzig, 1924. S. 37

Translation: "Even start a new life. We all have to. Otherwise, life won't go on."

Spring, a time for new beginnings

2009-04-30T16:25:00.003-04:00

He's signed the offer letter and faxed it in. Following a drug test tomorrow (which I'm positive will be clean ...), Darren will once again be employed, making more than at the company that laid him off and doing a job that he'll enjoy doing and will further his career. He even gets to start on June 1, which means he doesn't have to take any vacation days for our trip to Los Angeles around Memorial Day weekend, and he can continue to enjoy the benefits of severance pay. I'm so happy for him and am glad he found work at such an esteemed place.

The only thing is it's way up in Tewksbury, about an hourlong drive north of Dedham. Neither of us really wants to move, but I'm pretty sure Darren will get sick of the commute before long, and we'll start thinking about relocating somewhere between our two places of employment and still staying close to Boston. We were discussing possibly buying a house (it's a buyer's market!), but may hold off if money becomes an issue ...

Shout-out to my friend and former Standard-Times coworker Don, who has been working as a temp at a medical company in Dedham, just down the street from Darren and me! I hope he can secure a full-time gig there eventually. The other day, I was driving with Darren to our gym and passed by the building and saw a very familiar person walking across the street. "That must be my friend Don!" I told Darren. My instincts proved me right. It's hard to believe it's been almost two years since I worked at the New Bedford paper. That summer, with its excitement, new friends, sun-soaked beaches, and crazy Providence nights -- not to mention meeting Darren at the very tail end of it -- was one of the most memorable of my life. I find I count my memories in summers, and that was one of the best so far.

Of course, last summer, my first full summer with Darren and our first summer living together, was also memorable, but still too fresh in my mind to be something I pine and yearn for like that Standard-Times summer. Perhaps in another year, after this upcoming and surely equally excitement-filled summer ...

Hands and feet are all alike

2009-04-17T10:43:00.004-04:00

Friday at last. I'm beginning to love this day of the week more and more as my career advances ... not that I don't love my job! I'm sure a lot of you who do the Monday-through-Friday, 9-to-5 work routine can agree with me that Friday brings a sense of excitement, of freedom, of potential for what lies ahead for the weekend. Maybe that's why we always love to gather in our kitchen after work on Fridays and share a few beers and chips together: to kick things off right. Maybe in some way it serves as a good omen (albeit a forced one) for us of what the weekend holds in store.

For me, this weekend holds extra excitement, as my parents are making their first trip out to visit Darren and me. It's been nearly a year since they were last here to help move us in, and even that visit was fleeting and uneventful, at best, since our townhouse was yet unsettled and disorganized. We hadn't explored the area enough to be able to show them around and treat them to its finest entertainment and luxuries. Now we'll be putting them up at the Dedham Hilton, a luxury for sure! They're getting in tonight and taking us out to dinner after I get back from work. If they get here early enough, maybe they could come to work and meet the crew ...

Saturday, we'll spend the day in Boston. I'm hoping to get some good walking exercise as we show them Quincy Market/Fanueil Hall, possibly Haymarket and Boston Common, and definitely the North End. Ideally, we'll dine at the Union Oyster House, the oldest restaurant in the country, where Darren and I ate once last summer. (Sidenote: I'm hoping we'll start going back to Haymarket every other week or so, since the weather is better and it's easier driving into the city and the produce will be fresher.) Sunday, though the weather report doesn't bode too well, I'm hoping we'll get over to Blue Hills to do some hiking, but not before I cook everyone up a fabulous Sunday breakfast to tide us over on the hike.

As for the job front, Darren's had loads of interviews this past week, and all have yielded some pretty promising results. It's fun to start planning what we'll do if he gets an offer from the various companies he's interviewed at, or to go over in our heads which one he should choose if he receives more than one offer. We've even started talking about buying a house and moving to an area closer to where he might be working, since some of the companies are pretty far from Dedham. We'd like to find someplace in between both our places of employment, and I've already started a house search online. I know: It may be creepy that I'm looking this stuff up so early in the game, but it's so exciting, I just can't help myself. Darren has one more interview next Wednesday, and by then, we're hoping the offers will begin coming in. It won't be long now!

As for me, my work hours have been cut slightly, but as far as I know, it won't affect my salary. Times are tough, so our lunch hour has been halved, but we're also closing a half-hour earlier. Because of this, I've been eating lunch with the "lunch crew" in the office. It's actually a lot of fun: I love the camaraderie and company of hanging out with the group. This change is flexible, however. If I want, I can now and then take a full hour for lunch and just stay at the office an extra half hour. As long as it all adds, up, it's all good. I feel pretty good about this new policy. It's nice to be able to leave at 5 p.m., and we all take about a half hour to eat together anyway, so I'm sure a lot of people haven't even really noticed the difference.

We're fated to pretend

2009-03-20T16:07:00.002-04:00

The first time I got a New York Times news alert in my e-mail warning of the $160 billion in bonuses AIG would be giving its employees as "retention payment," I shuddered. Over the course of this week, my shuddering has turned to ire. This is one issue that has really gotten my goat, probably because it directly affects me as a taxpayer. When my hard-earned dollars are going to pay someone's million-dollar "bonus" that they probably didn't even deserve in the first place, I get angry.

I don't even know the ins and outs of the entire situation, but hearing that is bound to make any honest, taxpaying citizen at least a little sick to his or her stomach, isn't it? A Washington Post column by Steven Pearlstein today put it an interesting way: Let's stop blaming everyone else around us for this AIG mess and start putting some of the blame on ourselves. After all, it was we who fell for the lures of easy and cheap credit put forth by these schemers. Pearlstein does this explanation better, perhaps, than I give it credit:

"A final point on outrage: We need to save some of it for ourselves. While it was Wall Street that got rich by peddling new ways for Americans to live beyond their means, the decision to do so was ours. It was we who ran up the credit card bills, we who drew down the equity in our homes and we who refused to tax ourselves for the government services we demanded. Wall Street bankers may have been the pushers, but it was we Americans who became addicted to the easy credit." - "Let's Put Down the Pitchforks" by Steven Pearlstein, The Washington Post, 3/20/09

I just hope I can get anything back from my taxes this year ...

Darren's job search continues. It was his last day today. He only stayed for a half day. He and others who were laid off were given a lunch at British Beer Works, and then he played a final "Call of Duty" game with his buddies before leaving. The guy from the cube next to his got kind of choked up and hoped they would hang out later. We may all go bike-riding together sometime!

Neel called Darren today and wanted to hang out sometime this weekend. We haven't seen him since last fall, when he and his now-ex-girlfriend drove up from Worcester to meet us in Natick for some Minado and hanging out at the Natick Collection mall. It'd be cool if we could see my dear old Providence roommate/Darren's former coworker again. If only it weren't too cold yet for kayaking!

Be calm. Be brave. It'll be OK

2009-03-12T15:04:00.005-04:00

The misery-inducing economic times we live in have hit Darren and me in a way we didn't expect. Last week, Darren found out he was being laid off from his job, which provides the vast majority of our household income. The company had been announcing waves of layoffs for months now, but he seemed pretty confident his department would survive. Unfortunately, he was wrong, as several other people in similar jobs as his were also let go. Our spirits have been affected greatly by this loss, but as Darren's job search gets under way, we retool and refine his resume and he prepares for interviews and schmoozing with potential employers, we get more wrapped up in the potential the future holds for a new job and new opportunities.

The strange thing is that as this company is laying off people right and left -- both at the main office and branch locations -- it is also hiring in areas very similar to Darren's former department. He's networked his way to the hiring manager for those positions, and a group of hirers (including this person) are meeting today to decide on who they want to interview. What once was a rosy outlook, though, has turned gray. Other opportunities have presented themselves as well, so I'm hoping he'll find another job before his 13-week severance runs out. There's a good chance that could happen. We're hoping for the best with fingers crossed.

And sunshine has come to New England! The temperatures have improved only slightly, but it feels nice now that my cabin fever has broken and I'm ready for spring. Last weekend was warm and sunny enough that Darren and I went for a bike ride in the forest near our townhouse. The paved trails were still covered in slush in spots, but it was still enjoyable. Darren tried out the Trek bike we found on the side of the road and fixed up at Adi's Bike World, and it ran wonderfully. The day after that, we walked to Dedham Square and back, about two miles total. Any day now, the temperatures should rise and spring will be in full swing. It's a refreshing, invigorating feeling.

Have you forgotten ... ?

2009-03-04T08:55:00.009-05:00

I can't help it; the nostalgia from this Red House Painters song is really affecting me right now ...

I can't let you be
'Cause your beauty won't allow me.
Wrapped in white sheets
like an angel from a bedtime story.
Shut out what they say,
'Cause your friends are fucked-up anyway.
And when they come around,
sometimes you feel up then you feel down.

When we were kids,
We hated things our parents did.
We listened low
to Casey Kasem's radio show.
That's when friends were nice;
to think of them still makes you feel nice.
The smell of grass in spring,
and October leaves cover everything.

Have you forgotten how to love yourself?

I can't believe
all the good things that you do to me.
Sat back in a chair
like a princess from a faraway place.
Nobody's nice;
when you're older, your heart turns to ice.
And shut out what they say;
they're too dumb to mean it anyway.

When we were kids,
we hated things our sisters did.
Backyard summer pools
and Christmases were beautiful.
And the sentiment
of colored-mirror ornaments
and the open drapes
look out on frozen farmhouse landscapes.

Have you forgotten how to love yourself?

- Red House Painters, "Have You Forgotten"

Erasing my past

2009-02-05T08:53:00.011-05:00

As I clicked the button -- "delete" -- my past erased before my eyes. For only a split-second, I had second thoughts about what I was doing, but I knew it was the only way to satiate my need to purge what I don't need and keep only what I do. I'm no pack rat by any means, but somehow deleting all this made me a bit uneasy, though only for a short while.

I was only using 10 percent of my space allotment on Gmail, but when I enabled Gmail Offline and watched as it synchronized, categorized and organized all my old, archived e-mail from back when I signed up in 2005, I realized there were thousands of old chats and messages taking up space where they need not. My inner obsessive-compulsive broke out and berated me for keeping these old files around and advised me to quickly rid myself of them. "Keep only what you need!" it urged me. I had no choice but to listen and obey.

I watched as I systematically went through and deleted each old e-mail, each chat, each message, some of which surprised me as I quickly glanced through and read and realize how much I've changed even in two years. I read through these old correspondences with a bit of guilt, feeling like I was going through someone else's account and reading into her past. I felt a twinge of melancholy and nostalgia for the past -- college life, old flames, long nights at the student newspaper with those crazy people I loved and partied with, nights spent experimenting with adulthood -- I replayed it all in my head like a movie on fast-forward. But they had to go. And go they did.

At the end of the day, I decreased the used space in my Gmail account from 10 percent to 2. I kept only those old e-mails that went back six months or so, just in case. I also kept some old e-mails from the summer of 2007, when I interned at The Standard-Times. But everything else was trashed and will never be seen again. Like the past I often pine for, I also lament losing the record of it. Maybe I shouldn't have done it? Maybe I should have just let myself deal with those thousands of messages sitting there? Maybe it was more important to save the past than delete it forever for space's sake? It's too late now. It's gone forever.

***

On another note, I swear I've brought the ravaging snows of Upstate New York to Eastern Massachusetts. And as long as my car stays registered in New York, the snows will continue. Of course, I know that's not true at all, but I like to think it. The weather's supposed to be frigid until tomorrow, when the temperatures will rise to the 40s for at least a week. Add to that the fact that this area has gotten about 30 more inches of snow this winter than the average (my good pal Elyse only confirmed my suspicion that was the case in her blog post yesterday), and I can't help but wonder if my migration to this region from one that averages much more snow per winter is at least a little to blame. And I find it eerie that the day I plan to finally rid myself of this registration debacle, the weather decides warm up ...

Storm's a-brewin'

2009-01-28T10:26:00.003-05:00

I'm well on my way to becoming a certified, official Massachusetts resident. Well, I suppose I became an official resident when I registered to vote in Dedham, but I still had a New York state license at the time. Last week, that changed when I went to the RMV in Roslindale (big mess trying to park -- I almost got stuck in the unplowed Roslindale library, which had about two inches of slippery, mashed-up snow covering its parking lot) and surrendered my New York license for a Massachusetts one. It's just a temporary piece of paper now, but soon I'll get the real thing in the mail.

The last task I had to take care of was finally registering my car here. Now, there was a snag, being as the car was still in my dad's name, but the last time I was in Herkimer, he transferred the title to me. All that was left to do was get a new insurance policy and fill out the vehicle excise-tax waiver. Filling out the waiver was easy -- getting an insurance policy was a bit more daunting. I decided to go with Darren's car-insurance company, which he goes through to insure both his car and motorcycle. I probably should have transferred my license after getting the policy, because I had to jump through a few hoops to get my old N.Y. license number, without which I'd have no previous driving experience on record and would have to pay through the nose for insurance. Luckily, my old insurance company had it. With a new policy on hand, I should receive my RMV1 form in the mail today or tomorrow, after which I can finally register the car here, get my new plates on site, and be done with becoming an official "Masshole." Now all I have to do is learn to say "pahk the cah" correctly ...

Things are slow at work. There's a storm outside, and though it's nothing like we've had this turbulent New England winter, it's still scary to look out the window and see about two inches of snow on my car that weren't there when I got in to work -- and it's only supposed to compile on itself as the day goes on, later turning to icy rain and clearing up by midnight. I just hope the "commute" (Darren thinks we live too close to our places of work to call it commuting) back isn't too bad. It's our day off from work, so I intend when I get home to hunker down in my pajama pants in our nice heated townhouse, maybe watch a couple old episodes of "Big Love," which Darren's gotten me way too deep into after showing me just the first and second episodes. Since the new season has started, I feel I have to catch up, just like when Darren got me madly into "Mad Men."

At any rate, it should be a snowy, blustery rest of the day.

We have the vision -- now let's have some fun

2009-01-08T13:49:00.003-05:00

The holidays for Darren and me have been extended until this weekend, when we go to Herkimer to celebrate with my family. The actual holidays were spent in Tennessee with his sister, brother-in-law, nieces and nephew. I got to finally meet them all for the first time and spend the holiday in the South, with no snow (which was kind of strange, since it was my first Christmas without snow). I think the kids absolutely love me, and I them. I played dolls, colored in coloring books, played on the new Wii they got, and watched videos with the littlest two. The smallest one, Lauren, crawled right into my lap when we would be on the couch watching stuff. It was really cute and awesome to feel so loved even though we've only known each other for a little while.

Christmas morning, I made everyone a big breakfast of baked eggs and vegetables, Morningstar Farms breakfast "sausage" and French toast, which they seemed to really like (even the picky kids), since I think they're mostly used to quick- or no-cook and fast-food meals. The kids even helped make the French toast. They helped me dip the bread in the egg, put it in the hot pan, and then I supervised them as they flipped the bread over.

It was so great finally meeting and spending time with Darren's side of the family and see where he spent a big amount of time growing up. We went by the Navy base where his dad was stationed, and I looked through photo albums of him as a little kid -- he was the cutest kid! I even got to meet a couple of his friends. We went to a couple casinos in Mississippi and hung around for an evening. We also went to a childhood friend's house to watch "The Dark Knight" on the theater-size screen they have, with booming surround sound.

So this weekend, it's my turn. My family already knows Darren well and considers him a member of our family anyway, but it's always nice to get back to where I grew up to relive my own childhood memories and share them with him. It's strange knowing we'll be exchanging gifts so far after the season, but then again, my company's holiday party isn't until next Friday, so we're all trying to extend the holidays as much as possible, I think. Personally, I like the idea, but this holiday has been so hectic and stressful for me, I just want it to be over with. Not that I don't absolutely love family get-togethers and exchanging gifts and sharing good food and conversation -- it's just a hectic time of year that really is supposed to be about relaxation and time off from the daily grind. I guess I realized I'm so stuck in my own routine that it's difficult and even more stressful when I get away and do something out of the ordinary.

The two youngest of Darren's nieces sent a couple items for me to remember them by with Darren's luggage. It was really cute, and they included a note asking for something from me, as well as my birthdate and contact information. I handwrote them a cute note back and mailed them a stuffed dog with a heart hanging from his mouth. It should get there today.

So for now, while this week was largely a return to what our routine has been since we moved here (except Darren's been coming into work later than he probably should, haha ...), this weekend will be a mini revisiting of Christmas and the closeness of family.

All the way home I'll be warm

2008-12-04T16:54:00.002-05:00

I'm doing a few things at once -- two of which involve typing, one reading, but this has to take precedence, as it's long overdue. I got a comment on one of my posts urging me to keep writing, and so keep writing I shall. Perhaps I'll have to make it so there's no "anonymous" choice in the comments section, but then I have to ask myself if that would only deter people from commenting. I suppose my appetite for knowing who's looking at/commenting on my blog will have to go by the wayside for now.

We're four days into December, and I can hardly believe how fast time has flown between now and back in May, when I graduated from college and moved out here. I thought the time between semesters at Syracuse University seemed to dwindle with each year; now every month seems to fly by, and before I can get used to being in one month, time has already moved on to the next, and I can only drag along behind it. They say the older you get, the faster time seems to elapse, and it's totally true. Why, in about a week, I'll officially be 23.

I've been put in charge of organizing the office holiday party, and I've spent the past month ruminating over venues, menus and other such delightful things. I finally settled on The Chateau, a locally owned Italian restaurant right down the road. It's a big place across from a giant autoplex, but when you look in the back, it's all beautiful trees and golf course. We'll be downstairs in the function room, which looks pretty nice. I've eaten in the restaurant area with Darren once for lunch; maybe it was just the day or time of day that we went, but the place seemed packed with older people. Still, the food was delicious, the service amiable, and the prices reasonable.

Last week, I took a half day the day before Thanksgiving so Darren and I could travel over to Herkimer to celebrate Thanksgiving at Aunt Mo's. I guess they decided to have it there because it would have only been five people, since Darren and I were planning on going to Tennessee, which obviously didn't pan out. The space at Aunt Mo's is small, and her oven is even smaller, but we made do, even with two extra guests. My parents let me open my birthday presents from them early, since they weren't sure if I'd be there for my/Grampy's birthday. The gifts were more gifts for both Darren and me: a 4-foot-tall fake Christmas tree with lights and a bunch of Christmas candles and tree decorations. Some of the decorations looked really pretty and cute -- I distinctly remember a really cute snowman and a little ornament bear my mom made by hand. (I took some of her business cards back with me and posted one on the board right before the entrance to the locker rooms at the gym; another went on the fridge at work -- I've already gotten questions about it from my coworkers!) The meal itself was delicious and plentiful, as usual. The highlight would have to be when a ceramic bird Aunt Mo had hanging on a shelf got jostled by someone's movement and flipped off its perch, landing feet-first right in the mashed potatoes. I saw the entire thing, and it set off a wave of laughter that filled the house and probably seeped over to the neighbors' houses. It was great to be with family and share those moments, even though I'm sure Darren missed seeing his sister, brother-in-law, nieces and nephew. I would have loved to get the chance to meet them over the holiday. I really hope we can get down there soon.

The drive to New York was horrendous, given the terrible traffic jam around Worcester, which was made even worse by the Thanksgiving travelers who all had the same idea as we did. Going back was a complete nightmare: The traffic was exponentially more backed up, and the last 50 miles or so were plagued with darkness combined with pouring rain. I nearly panicked as I drove through it all. The traffic and rain alone added about three hours to our trip, so it took us seven hours to get home, whereas it normally takes three and a half or four. I was so grateful when we finally made it back in one piece.

Speaking of cars, Darren's broke down the other day as he was on his way home from work. The car just shut off as he was in the middle of a major intersection in Dedham. Thankfully, he was able to maneuver it into a liquor store parking lot and called AAA for a tow, though the idiot running it was a big jerk about the whole thing, causing a big fuss that he had to break down and take up space in his parking lot, even though there were plenty of spaces available. His car was towed and is being stored while the repair guys look at it. They said it was the distributor that gave out, but when Darren called his mechanic in Rhode Island, he said those guys were trying to rip him off; it's probably just the ignition coil within the distributor. He's still not sure what to do: His mechanic said he could probably replace it himself for far less; he could dictate exactly what to do over the phone. Or, he could have the car towed all the way to Rhode Island and have his mechanic fix it. Lastly, he asked the repair guys to take a look at the ignition coil. If that's truly the only problem, he'd have them do it. Until then, I've been his chauffer. We carpool to and from work, which is actually pretty fun and enjoyable. It's extra time for us to spend together before we go to our separate offices. It's cute to see him off for once instead of me always being the first to leave the house in the morning. Of course, this also means Darren has to wake up at the same time as me and can't spend time dilly-dallying on the Web or fixing video-game consoles before strolling into work around 10 a.m.! I think he kind of likes being able to get more done during his work day by arriving there at 8:30. "If I got here this early every morning, I'd always have a good parking spot!" he said when I drove up to the almost-empty parking lot in his part of the building that's usually packed full when I go there to join him for our weekly lunch together. Despite it all, I'm glad his car isn't totally broken (I always assume the worst with these things, because it usually is) and that it should be fixed soon.

The autumn moon lights my way

2008-10-23T12:17:00.003-04:00

My dear friend Olga, with whom I've been good friends since elementary school, couldn't have picked a more perfect time to come visit Boston. Last weekend was the Fun Fall Fest, and we took it all in. She'd been to the city before on previous bus trips with her pharmacy school in Albany, but this time, I showed her a lot of the things she hadn't been able to see before. We started out by checking out the setup for the Pumpkin Festival taking place in City Hall Plaza. Already, several carved pumpkins were lined up along the stone steps, and a giant scaffold was placed in the center of the plaza with hundreds of lit pumpkins with hearts carved into them. We later took in the sight of probably about a thousand lit pumpkins scattered around the plaza.

Just down the street, Haymarket was in full swing. This being my best area of expertise, I showed her around, and I was pleased to find that the guy shucking oysters and quahogs from the week before was back, only this time he only offered free clams. Nevertheless, Olga and I had two each; it was her first time eating raw clams. The first one she doused with hot sauce and the second she downed straight, and I was glad to hear she liked them better without any garnish.

We tried walking part of the Freedom Trail, but being as I never make a good guide (even when I think I know where I'm going) and most of the sites along the way required you to pay admission fees to look through them, we didn't see very much and ended up just walking around the city from Faneuil Hall to Boston Common, where we rested a bit in the sun and watched the squirrels searching for food. A man with a bagful of peanuts came up to us and offered us some to feed the squirrels. We gladly took them and held them out for our new, little friends. They boldly came right up to us, put their little paws on our fingers to prop themselves up to reach the food in our hand. Some quickly ran away with their little gems; others lingered awhile, letting us watch them nibble away at the nut's exterior to the food inside that would keep them warm during winter. We marveled at how cute they were.

Afterward, we decided it was time to find our own food. We ate in Little Italy on the North End at a small, modern cafe offering various sandwiches, salads and coffees. Then, I showed her Mike's Pastry, which she had searched for before but had never found. I dismayed that I had forgotten the famous bakery's cash-only policy, and we didn't have much cash on us, but I got Darren a little marzipan banana (since he hadn't tried marzipan before -- he ended up not really liking it all too much), and Olga got a piece of tiramisu in the signature Mike's Pastry box tied up tight with lots of string.

We spent the rest of the day walking from the North End, back through Boston Common all the way to Copley, where we walked around for a while before heading back to Quincy Market, where Olga had to catch her bus back to Albany. We lingered over saying our goodbyes, but eventually I found myself walking the darkening streets around 7:30 toward the State Street T stop. Already, the streets were filling with girls dressed to the nines going out on the town and guys with their buddies looking for a good sports bar they'd heard about. I wouldn't be joining them. Not that night.

So almost a week's gone by, and I've been pretty busy at work. Clients have been here the past two days, and they just left this morning on the drive back. I served as entertainer, go-fer, and note-taker for those two days. It was hectic, but really rewarding and fun. On Monday, I became an interactive programmer for a day and holed up in the conference room with three others to bang out some simple XML scripts that basically involved copying and pasting information from a spreadsheet into a coding program. That also was hectic, but we got done a lot sooner than we'd thought, and it was fun being in a room with the others, all coworkers closer in age to myself. All the staff got a free lunch from Santucci's to sweeten the deal, and I think in part to thank the four of us for taking a day to help out the interactive programmers in their massive task(s). Though it isn't something I could see myself doing every day, it was still a fun and also rewarding experience. Today and tomorrow, I don't imagine myself or anyone else taking on anything extravagant. Tomorrow's happy hour will probably include people's comments about the week and how busy everyone is. Just a couple more months and we should be seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.

The scarf I'm knitting is coming along really well. I'm already through one of the two skeins I bought, and it hasn't even been a week! If I finish in enough time, I could probably knit Darren something to keep him warm in the colder months. I've never tried knitting a hat before ...

A giant scaffold of lit pumpkins, each carved with a heart in the center, lights up City Hall Plaza.

A close-up on one of the pumpkins on the scaffolding

Another one of the pumpkins

The stone steps in City Hall Plaza were full of pumpkins participants had carved. There was even a pumpkin maze. People (like Olga and I) walked among the pumpkins, snapping photos, pointing out cute/scary/provocative carvings and simply marveling at the sight of all those brightly lit pumpkins.

Leaves are falling all around

2008-10-13T16:14:00.007-04:00

I probably shouldn't be writing right now, but I just had to expound for a bit on the absolute beauty of fall and my love of the month of October. The weather's been in the 60s with sun and little wind, which makes for a perfect time of year for me. October's my favorite month, after all: I love anticipating Halloween and the harvesty, cozy feelings that go along with the month itself. Life with Darren couldn't be happier, and I've returned to my childhood hobby of knitting. Since I lost my all-time favorite scarf, which I'd knitted for myself as a teenager, I've wanted to make a new one. I hope I can at least enjoy it for part of the colder months, since I feel I'm starting a little late. I got a couple skeins of various blue colors, and so far the scarf looks pretty good. I intend to double it up after it's done, so I'm making it doubly wide. Since I finally learned purling, I'm doing a knit-two, purl-two pattern.

Last Saturday, Darren and I hit up the Boston Haymarket again. I think it's really helped us save a buck or two when it comes to our joint grocery account, along with eating out less or eating at cheaper establishments. There was an amazing amount of produce this past weekend, as compared to the slim pickings we found the weekend before. This time there was a bevy of seafood, including a stand where a guy stood shucking raw oysters and clams for people to just pick up and eat for free. Darren and I had an oyster and a clam each, and they were so fresh and delicious, tasting of the sea. We didn't, however, buy any fish, though it was cheap and looked relatively good. Instead, we indulged in the slightly higher-priced but good-quality produce that we needed.

Tomorrow and the day after, I meet with the producer working on the Naval Academy Museum project, for whom I'm doing research. I'll have a list of images and other artifacts USNA has on hand so we can figure out what we'll need and from where we can best obtain it. We'll also work on an ongoing request we have to obtain licensing for footage from "Master and Commander," starring Russell Crowe.

I can't believe the general election is only three weeks away. The latest poll has Obama ahead by about 10 percentage points, which gives me hope that he has a real chance of winning. It almost struck me by surprise; I don't think I've really thought about just how monumental an election this is and how amazing it would be to have an Obama presidency. I imagined all the hope it must give many black Americans and other minority groups in this country. It gave me hope as well, even though I identify as white. Though at one time Italian-Americans weren't considered white in this country, we seem to have fully integrated ourselves into society. The racial slurs lobbed at us in my grandmother's day no longer have much meaning, and many people my age from Italian descent don't speak a word of Italian (I'm sad to say I'm one of them), nor are they familiar with the slurs themselves or the severity they once carried. Still, it always surprises me to hear about someone in this day and age being named the "first Italian-American official" to hold a certain governmental post or to serve as a member of a committee or what have you. The first person who comes to mind for me is Justice Antonin Scalia, the first Italian-American on the Supreme Court. Though Italian-Americans seem to have assimilated seamlessly into this country's society, it still seems to be a distinct, monumental occasion when one of us assumes a higher-ranking position.

I guess I just fully realized for the first time that an Obama administration is entirely possible. Back in the primaries, the general election seemed so far away, so the reality of this historic and amazing possibility didn't really solidify in my mind. Today, it became an exciting, invigorating concept, and it gives me hope for the future of this country and this society.

These thoughts I have I now can claim as mine

2008-09-17T10:04:00.003-04:00

I'm already looking forward to this coming weekend. I have been since last weekend, in fact. It was Darren's suggestion that I return home for a weekend, just by myself. My mom had suggested it in an e-mail, which sparked a conversation between Darren and me about the possibility of our spending a weekend apart. I was kind of put off about this suggestion at first, but I realized the "homesick" feelings I brushed off as childish won't go away until I can sate them, and I'm glad to know I'm not the only adult who feels them. And so it's with great anticipation that I await this weekend, the weekend I plan to drive out for a visit.

Mom, Aunt Mo and I plan on going to the Fly Creek Cider Mill & Orchard in Fly Creek, N.Y., for a little sampling and apple goodness. We go almost every year, and this is prime season in upstate New York for apples. The cider mill is quaint and old-fashioned, with creaky boards in the floors and a cute upstairs that sells seasonal merchandise and where you can see the old mill and learn about how it works. On the main floor, there are tons of samples of everything from salsa to salad dressing to apple cider, wine, soups, candies and all sorts of confections. Did I regret to mention the room full of apples you can bag yourself and mix and match to your desire? On the outside, during the warmer days, there's a little shack selling lunch items such as soups (in bread bowls!), sandwiches, hot dogs and delicious desserts such as pies and ice cream. We usually get lunch there (though since I've become vegetarian the options for me are limited -- even the cheese soup has ham in it, as I was dismayed to discover the hard way), but I think this time we're going to make the drive to Richfield Springs to visit my grandparents. Luckily, it's just on the way, since the cider mill is near Cooperstown. I always love the drive up, especially in fall: The trees with gorgeous-colored leaves line the back roads, and farm silos loom in the distance amid horses and cows grazing on the vibrantly green grasses. As I about it now, I wonder how I could have left it, but then I reflect on the life I have now so close to a major city and yet still surrounded by natural beauty, and I realize how content I am with the choices I've made.

The rest of the weekend I plan on relaxing at home, getting away from it all and spending time with my family. As Darren said, it'll be a good time for him to file receipts and do other odd jobs he's been meaning to do, and it'll give me time to catch up on all the TV shows I've been missing and desperately need to catch up on. I can start the mornings by taking Maggie for walks, reflecting on my childhood in the small town I grew up in, reliving memories as I pass by my old high school and the streets I haunted for nearly the first 18 years of my life. Whenever I reminisce about my childhood (as I've been doing a lot lately), I think automatically of home and the feelings of comfort and safety come rushing back. Fall I hold especially dear, as the sights, smells and overall feelings just seep through my every pore and warm me through and through. Perhaps I should return to writing poetry, as the past couple years since I stopped taking poetry classes my writing frequency has ebbed to a slow trickle, if that. If given the time and opportunity, I could probably write a thousand poems just about fall and the feelings I get from it.

Friday right after work I'll stick around for a few minutes for happy hour to have a few snacks and chat with my coworkers, and then I'll set off on the road to Herkimer. I'm sure the time will fly, and on Sunday afternoon I'll make the trip back to Boston and regular life.

A million miles below their feet

2008-09-08T10:09:00.003-04:00

The weekend was as delightful as I'd expected. We finally found a table for our kitchen, and our blender, rice cooker and toaster all have a new home on it. We hit up about five yard sales around Dedham on Saturday, but to no avail. We did come out with a $1 pack of Uno from 1983, though, as well as a $2 dragon kite like the one we saw in Newport, R.I. We actually got up successfully early to get to all the yard sales, which began pretty early for a Saturday morning (average opening time was 8:30 a.m.; Darren and I are notorious for waking up early with intentions on getting an early start on weekends, but we always end up lollygagging around and getting started much later than expected -- case in point: Orlando). After that, we went to the Honda dealership in Weymouth, which is the closest one that deals in motorcycle parts. Darren got a bolt for one of the farings on his bike, though he hasn't put it on yet. I guess it's not that big of a deal.

Saturday night was the onset of the remnants of Hurricane Fay over New England. We set out in the evening for Danvers, Mass., to Laser Quest for some laser tag. I drove, and it began pouring. My windshield had some oily stuff on it, so the wipers weren't doing that great a job of getting all the water off, so it was difficult to see. It was a pretty scary ride there and back, but the game of laser tag we played was pretty fun.

Yesterday, we hit up one last yard sale: a six-family sale on a part of a hilly street in Roslindale. There we found the table we'd been looking for. Darren asked if it was for sale, and the guy said he wasn't sure, but why not? We walked away with it for only $8. While Darren spent the most of the rest of the day being a lump, playing Nintendo DS and napping, I went for a rousing ride on my bike. I took an hourlong ride around Dedham and the surrounding area, starting out on Washington Street to Enneking Parkway, which abuts/runs through Stony Brook Reservation. I then rode along beautiful, pastoral High and Bridge streets to Ames Street and VFW Parkway back to High Street for the way home. It's hard to believe the beautiful countryside mixed in with suburban commercial areas here. All that, and only 15 minutes from a major metropolis! At the end of the day, Darren and I took the motorcycle just a jog away to Houghton Pond in Blue Hills Reservation, a large state park, where we took a hike around the pond and enjoyed the sunset. There's a large hill there with a trail that we want to take someday. At the top, you can see the whole metropolitan area of Boston, as well as the shores and bays around it. It reminds me so much of hiking up mountains in the Adirondacks as a kid. I think time and time again how much Mom would love living in this area; though she might feel overwhelmed by the big city, we're far enough away that its busy-ness and stress aren't much of an issue, and there are so many state parks, beautiful trails, wildlife, beaches and beautiful ocean around, all of which she absolutely loves. We keep telling my parents they're more than welcome to come visit us for a weekend or whatever, but they always decline, citing our lack of space and their lack of time. We're more than willing to let them use our bed and get a futon for ourselves, but personally, I think it just makes them uneasy to think that their daughter sleeps in the same bed as a guy she isn't married to. Still, I think it would be fun to have them over, to cook them breakfast and to show them around.

So it's back to work. I've already had some busying stuff to do, so I should probably get back to it. Back to the daily grind ...

I've never been so alone, and I've never been so alive

2008-09-05T17:11:00.004-04:00

Another work week has run its course. Most of the staff (at least the beer-drinking part) is out of the office today, so it's been pretty slow, and I'm not even sure there'll be Happy Hour this week. No matter: I was going to skip it anyway to go home at the regular time to hit the gym with Darren, and I don't need all those unhealthy, fattening, carb-loaded snacks anyway. Besides, getting healthy and hanging out with Darren seems like a much more fun prospect. Not that I don't enjoy schmoozing with my coworkers after hours: I'd rather get a good workout in and relax to bring in this weekend. Besides, I don't feel so bad about my Fridays when I go to the gym and work off the stress of the week.

And this weekend should prove to be one of relaxation. We're not going anywhere in particular (though we both agree we'd love to see my parents again like last weekend -- Mom said they will be at camp until Sunday evening) except the Boston Haymarket. We also hope to scour the suburbs for yard sales (or "yahd sales" as they say here) where we might find a cheap shelflike structure for our kitchen to put our appliances and save counter space. Our joint grocery account is growing slim, and we're in dire need of produce, so the Haymarket is the perfect place to go. Last time, we came away with pounds and pounds of fruits and vegetables for only $7! It all lasted about a week and a half. I'll bet that's because most of it is local produce and doesn't have to travel long distances to its final destination.

Darren and I are so alike: We took a day off from the gym yesterday to visit Savers to look for the shelf (unfortunately without success). As we drove there in my car, he mentioned how he didn't use to feel bad about taking a day off at the gym now and then, especially if he had done a full workout the day before. Now, he said, he feels bad if he misses even one day. I felt exactly the same way, only I couldn't find a way to express it until he said it. It's like we're on exactly the same wavelength all the time.

A trip to the FedEx down the street and I'm golden for the weekend. I intend on munching on some pita chips, working out at the gym, cooking/eating a delightful (albeit late) dinner, and hanging out with Darren, whatever that entails. Fall's approaching -- my favorite time of year! -- and so far I'm loving every minute of it.

Slowly breaking through the daylight

2008-08-29T16:52:00.003-04:00

Happy Labor Day weekend! In seven minutes, my weekend will have officially begun. I intend to kick it off with a visit to the gym, a drink with my coworkers and a good night's rest. Tomorrow morning (at least I hope it'll still be morning), Darren and I head to upstate New York to my parents' camp in the Adirondacks. Michael's coming up from Nashville to celebrate his 20th birthday. Apparently, his landlord, Danny, was supposed to join him, but something came up. It should be busy at camp, with the Clemens visiting as well and camping outside the house.

I'm glad to be going back there. I've been kind of homesick lately. I feel bad about it, though. I don't view being homesick as a very adult thing to do, and since I'm a full-fledged adult, I think it childish to yearn for the place I grew up. People have told me it isn't anything to be ashamed of, but I can't help it.

Since Darren and I joined Dedham Strength and Fitness, I've learned a lot about fitness and bodybuilding, mostly from BodyBuilding.com. Protein, transformation and lean muscle mass have all become part of my vocabulary. I've read a lot of people's own stories of transformation and what drove them to fitness from the site's forum and articles, and since then I've noticed a transformation of my own. I've been concentrating most of my weight training on my lower body (i.e. butt and legs), and I've noticed my hips have gotten bigger; however, rather than growing larger from fat deposits, I'm relatively certain it's been because of the growth of muscle mass. Like Darren, I've been drinking smoothies made from protein powder and water (I use my new blender to mix them up with crushed ice for a frozen delight that makes a great dessert) that I believe has contributed to this gain. I'm not entirely happy about watching myself get bigger, but as long as it's muscle, I can live with it.

I'm hoping we'll take some pictures this weekend. It'll sure be nice to have an extra day off work this weekend. There's so much going on, and we have to basically cram eight weeks' of work into two or three! One of our freelancers, on his way out of the office after a meeting one day, told me how busy he noticed it was, and I replied that I thought we should hire at least 10 more people just to be able to get everything done on time.

But for now, it's time to unwind and begin the weekend off right. Enjoy your weekend, everyone.

What a wonderful world

2008-08-22T08:39:00.006-04:00

It's still pretty early, but everything seems to be going well for me so far. Little things, like not being late for work or even fresh, perfect-tasting office coffee have bolstered my spirits and made me grateful to be alive. I even woke up for one of the first times this week and wasn't completely enamored with the idea of hitting the "snooze" button and going right back to bed for another couple hours! I even went to bed late last night!

Add to all this the fact that it's Friday, with the forecast predicting sunny, comfortable weather for the weekend. I'm excited for the possibilities it holds and the fun things Darren and I could do. I'm definitely hoping to take a nice afternoon tour on the motorcycle -- maybe to one of those nice, sleepy shore towns along the eastern Massachusetts seaboard. Last time, we watched the sun set from the lighthouse in Scituate, a beautiful town lined with quaint beach houses and miles of rocky and sandy coast. It reminded me so much of my childhood in Maine, when we'd go to Nubble Light and scour the tide pools for starfish, crabs, mussels, little fish and sea snails. I could have spent forever there on those rocks. I tried reliving that time on the seaweed-covered rocks at Scituate, but the real pools were too far out, and the rocks were too slippery. Still, we walked out onto this stony pier and sat on the very end under a lookout tower, watching the boats come and go and taking in the beautiful, red sunset. In fact, I have pictures I've posted at the end.

Tax-free weekend was last weekend in Massachusetts, and I used the opportunity to buy the mountain bike I've wanted for a couple weeks now. My original plan was to bring my old bike from home, but after I considered how old it is (at least 10 years), I realized it's time for a new one. Maybe my parents can bring the old bike to camp for visitors' kids to use. I went to a locally owned bike shop down the street in Dedham called Adi's. He's a Romanian guy who once played bassoon for the Pope in Italy and runs the bike shop with his father, Vadi. He seemed offended when we said we were also looking at bikes at Dick's Sporting Goods and Wal-Mart, educating us about the need for quality in bikes like the ones we were looking for. I got the feeling that he wasn't just telling us that to sell a bike; he really believed it. In Europe, the good-quality bikes like the ones he sells are the norm. Mass-manufactured bikes in the U.S. have taken on a lesser quality that hinders on their performance and endurance through the years. We found this largely to be true when we went to Dick's, where the bikes were just as expensive but didn't look as good as the bikes at Adi's. I settled on a blue Jamis Ranger, the cheapest bike in my size and type that I wanted. Adi even reduced the sticker price $20, and it was tax free! I also bought a nice helmet designed in Germany, and Darren got Adi to throw in a $6 bike trails map for free. "Deals, deals for everybody today!" Adi remarked. "Except for me -- well, we'll see what happens!"

People walk along the beach in the bay and docking area by the Scituate Lighthouse.

We parked in the lot next to the lighthouse, tethered the bike to a park bench and headed out to the rock pier. The lighthouse masters actually inhabit the house by the lighthouse tower, and it's one of the oldest-used lighthouses in the country. A story goes that during the War of 1812, a pair of sisters -- daughters of the lighthouse master -- were left in charge of the lighthouse while the master and the rest of the family were away. They scared away an anchored British warship by beating a drum and playing a fife one foggy night. From then on, they have been called the "Lighthouse Army of Two."*

The boats made their way into the docking area in the bay as the sun set.

The money shot: It took a couple tries for us to angle the camera on my phone correctly so that the lighthouse would be in the background.

* Source: New England Lighthouses: A Virtual Guide

When mountains crumble to the sea, there will still be you and me

2008-08-12T13:02:00.003-04:00

Today marks the first year since Darren and I began our relationship together. Yesterday was a year since we met. It's been a great journey so far, and I don't want it to ever end. We've done and accomplished so much together in one year. We've done amazing things that I would have never been able or wanted to experience with anyone else, and there's so much to look forward to in our lives ahead. I couldn't be more in love with the person I intend to spend the rest of my life with.

Tonight, we plan on visiting Garden Grille Cafe in Pawtucket, R.I., one of my favorite restaurants ever, and one of the first places we went to eat on a date. We haven't been there in several months, and the menu has changed since then (according to the Web site), so it promises to be a familiar yet entirely new experience. We may even go to Dave & Buster's at Providence Place mall (in my favorite city in the world) to play some arcade games. What better way than this to celebrate our first full year together?

More "real world" observation

2008-07-25T10:16:00.002-04:00

I now schedule my life from month to month, whereas at school it was week to week. Projects, interviews, papers, tests all got mapped out on my calendar by week. My mindset was stuck in this format: This week I do this, next week I do that, etcetera.

Because most of my bills appear once a month, I plan my life that way post-graduation. Paydays are this and this day, twice a month, and these bills are due on these days this month. I budget both my time and money from month to month: I'll have time on this day for this; I'll have enough money to pay off this bill by this date this month. If I'd kept my week-to-week attitude, I think I may be unemployed, poor and alone. It may not seem like that, but I believe -- in a worst-case scenario sense -- it could have ended up like that.

A walk in the park

2008-07-22T11:31:00.004-04:00

The weekend before last, Darren and I went to Merrymount Park in Quincy to relax, enjoy the weather, play some mancala and eat a small picnic lunch. We took "Esmerelda," Darren's motorcycle. We avoided the highway and took town roads, since Darren at that time had no experience riding on the highways, much less with a passenger.

A random, funny, exciting thing happened as we'd parked the bike in one of the park's parking lots and started on our way down the short-but-scenic trail to the bay area, where they had a little canoe/kayak/sailboat rental shack. Anyway, as we started on the trail, a woman in a car pulled up beside us. "Hi," she said. "Can I ask you a small favor?" Darren and I looked at each other quizzically, but nodded at her. "Is that your bike over there?" Darren mumbled an affirmation. "My name is Barbara," she clarified, "and I'm taking a photography class. Do you think I could take a couple shots of you guys and the bike?" Again, quizzical looks, but eventually we smiled and accepted her offer, climbed on the bike, got in close for a couple poses, and she shot away. At the end, Darren gave her his e-mail address so she could send him the finished products. It was a spur-of-the-moment, fun memory captured eternally in digital 1's and 0's. For your viewing pleasure, here are the photos, courtesy of Barbara (if I knew her last name, I'd mention it for ownership purposes).

The truth about leaving college

2008-07-22T10:48:00.004-04:00

There have been several things I've noticed since leaving the bubble-wrapped security of the university setting and entering the "real world" (I really hate that term but fail to describe it in any other terms). First, since I've gotten a full-time job, the workload isn't half what I had for my classes. Being a full-time student consumes your work life, social life and any other life you may or may not possess. Though I still hardly find time for "me" things, this is probably because I live with my boyfriend, with whom I share the whole of my day outside work. Still, we have ample time to do the "leisurely" things we like to do: working out at the gym, grocery shopping, playing video games or just spending time together.

Office coffee has largely replaced alcohol as my drug of choice. It's no secret that in general, college kids are pretty heavy drinkers by everyday standards. Take someone out of college and put them in a "real-life" setting with the same drinking pattern they exhibit at school, and that person would probably be labeled an alcoholic, whereas at school, they're nothing out of the ordinary. That stigma has been a bit of a challenge to overcome, but my work schedule and the unlimited amounts of coffee and diet soda at the office have more than helped me to slow my pace. Living with a boyfriend who is a virtual teetotaler has also helped. Not that I don't enjoy a good drink on Fridays after work with the coworkers or friends. I certainly don't go to parties half as much as I used to.

I've noticed myself slipping more and more into the working homemaker role. This probably comes more from living with my boyfriend than leaving college, but it's still much more prevalent than when I was in school and he'd come visit for the weekend. I find myself itching to clean or get him things, make dinner, run to the store to get some last-minute necessities for our everyday comfort. He deals with our landlord, needed repairs, maintenance. We may as well be married already.

We have a lot more time and opportunity to take weekend trips together, either on the motorcycle or by car, to nearby attractions, such as beaches, trails, parks and various sightseeing spots in Boston. Eventually, I'd like to get back to Providence to take a walk around and reminisce about the summer I lived there last year. It's a little farther than Boston, but it's still close enough for a day trip, and I'm sure there are still new, exciting things to discover that I may have missed.

I learned this in large part last summer -- at least I was developed enough at the time to notice it more than before -- but it's become part of my everyday life now: The attitude in the "real world" is a lot less sensitive and "PC" than in a university setting. You'd think this would be obvious to me from the beginning, but being surrounded by Syracuse University's constant encouragement to embrace diversity, accept (or at least tolerate) everyone's specific lifestyle/background and to reject the white-male-dominated society of the outside world. The fate of Hill TV and outcries by SU's minority community at every potentially, allegedly racist incident at the school on one hand stifled a lot of people from flaunting the not-so-PC attitude of the "real world," but at the same time fostered a sense of understanding and enlightenment in the community. As graduates head outside the university, this feeling is lost in the sea of uncaring ignorance that runs rampant here. I'm not saying either situation bests the other; it's just different, and at some times a challenge to navigate and a disappointment to behold. I'd like to think our society is more willing to accept and be sensitive toward others' beliefs, actions, lifestyles and choices without becoming preachy or up in arms whenever the slightest alleged offense occurs, but that just isn't possible, at least yet.

I'm worrying a lot more about "grown-up" things, such as health insurance (it's mandatory in Massachusetts, and though I may not technically be a full resident yet, I'm shopping around and will settle on the plan offered through work), paying off my loans (filling out the consolidation form is a priority right now) and paying other such bills: rent, phone, utilities, cable/Internet, gas, etc. I don't know what I'd do if I didn't have a full-time, reasonable-paying job. Darren's also a great help and support system for me, offering advice and even making my life and decisions easier by comparing and contrasting things so I don't have to. He goes out of his way to do these things for me, and I couldn't be more grateful and lucky to have him.

I'm eternally thankful for the opportunity I had to attend a top-notch university and experience the college lifestyle, but I'm glad to have moved on and begun my truly adult life in the "real world." I can only hope my colleagues feel the same way and are dealing with their new challenges in an equally successful (though sometimes difficult) way.

A Bostonian job outside Boston

2008-06-27T11:48:00.003-04:00

Well, I figured it was time for an update. I have a job! Finally ... anyway, I got the job at Boston Productions and am just wrapping up my first week as its new office coordinator/production assistant. The tasks to complete are many, some kind of complicated, but I enjoy it a lot, the staff is small and very friendly, and there's a lot of opportunity to grow and learn new things. Though my background may focus more on print than video media, I think it's in the best interest of my future as a media professional to learn these things.

Darren loves his job, too. He said he never wants to leave. Of course, my having a job now leaves little time for housework. There's clean laundry in the basket that's sat there a couple of days now. I barely have time to check my e-mail or browse the Web at home, let alone cook or watch TV; however, Darren and I always find time in the evening for video games. We've already beaten "Gears of War," "Kane and Lynch" and "Army of Two" for Xbox 360. I'm still working on "Bioshock," but haven't had the chance to play it since I started work. My hours are long (8:30 a.m. to 5:30 p.m. Monday through Friday, with an hour break for lunch), and it's a salaried position, so it isn't entirely crucial that I'm on time, but I still come in early and leave late most days, because I'm big on punctuality and I want to put in my time.

Darren finally got his new motorcycle and absolutely loves it. On good days, he takes it out for a spin, which kind of scares the hell out of me. I watched him in a parking lot the first day he got it, as he practiced stopping and starting. This empty lot, on a busy corner in Brighton, is often used (illegally) by cars and even trucks as a way to bypass the traffic light at the intersection. A truck happened to come by just as Darren was going a little too fast, and they almost collided. Darren fell off the bike and got a little bruised up. Of course, when I first saw him go down, I had no idea what had happened. Luckily, he (and the bike) only suffered some minor scratches, but it really jarred me. I make a little wish every time he goes out that he'll come back OK.

Yesterday, David, one of Darren's former coworkers from Abaqus with whom he actually formed a friendship, came to the area, and we all went to TGI Friday's for lunch. I had met him once before, and he's a pretty cool guy. I bet Darren was glad to see him again.

There's a lull now at work as everyone is at lunch. I usually take my break a little later, so the last leg of my day isn't as long as the first. Plus, the first part of the day is a little busier in general, so I take my break later so as not to get bored in the last part of the day. At any rate, I'm looking forward to the weekend. On Fridays at work, I've heard we wrap up the day and ease into the weekend by gathering in the pool room for a small, laid-back, company get-together of sorts. I'm glad I signed on to a company with a smaller, amicable staff. It isn't The Standard-Times, but I think I'm really going to like it here.

Into the wild

2008-05-15T08:31:00.002-04:00

Wow, so much to tell!

The Gazette offered me a job, which I had to unfortunately turn down. I've decided to move to Dedham, Mass., with Darren. He's settled in quite well at his new job, telling of midday "Call of Duty 2" competitions and two huge-screen monitors on his desk. It must be nice working for a Fortune 500 company!

We have a townhouse in Dedham that I'll move into tomorrow. The lease began on May 15. Mom and Dad are coming up Saturday to bring up and help me move the rest of my stuff, as well as help Darren bring some of his stuff from his New Bedford apartment. It's a great-looking place. I found it on Craigslist, and sent the link to Darren among three other potential places for rent. He picked that one, which I liked best as well. He contacted the real-estate agent and toured the place. He met the landlord, and within a couple days, the place was ours.

I have two interviews coming up -- one on the 19th and one on June 5 -- with job agencies in Boston for possible placement in a receptionist/administrative assistant position, but I've heard there are also openings at publishing houses as well, which I would prefer. From my research, full-time receptionists can make more starting out than most journalists entering the field, and most positions include benefits such as health insurance, which I need badly. I would feel bad having a full-time job and still relying on Darren for support with rent and other household bills while I'm bogged down with enormous student loan payments, all the while unable to visit a doctor without having to pay out of pocket.

Still, it feels great to have a degree and finally be out of school. Not that I didn't enjoy my four years at Syracuse University. I just feel like I've transcended those years, and it's time to move on and finally begin my life with a person with whom I've found the love of my life. I can finally live on my own with him, paying my way and doing things my way. I can find out what it's like to live with someone before entering the giant commitment of marriage. We can discover each other's quirks and support each other unfailingly and at the same time grow as individuals. Some of you would probably scoff at this decision, but after nine months living five hours away from him, I believe it's right that we take this step and finally allow ourselves to be together. I wouldn't have been able to last any longer without him.

The graduation weekend itself was a whirl of convocations, waking up early, family, food and celebration. I attended both the College of Arts and Sciences' and the S.I. Newhouse School of Public Communications' convocations May 10, which Nana and Uncle John also attended. As I looked up into the stands of the Carrier Dome to see where my parents and Darren were sitting, I swore I saw my brother wearing a bright green shirt, carrying a leather jacket. It turns out he made the trip up to see me! It was great that Nana and Uncle John made the effort to come out as well. We went to Tully's for lunch/early dinner after the Newhouse convocation ended around 2 p.m., and then they went back to Buffalo. For Commencement, Mom's side of the family was there. It was really touching, marching in with the other Newhouse students to our seats on the floor of the Dome (we didn't want to sit with Arts and Sciences because we'd only be one in a million people, whereas with Newhouse we wouldn't be so invisible). I waved to my family as I walked past them. Bob Woodruff gave the Commencement speech; it was really stunning and inspiring. We stood with our class as Chancellor Nancy Cantor deemed us worthy of our degrees. Afterward, the family drove to Herkimer for a small party as Darren and I packed the rest of my stuff in our cars, returned my apartment keys at Goldstein, and drove home, my car failing all the way.

Yeah, a note on my car: It wasn't doing too well the past week or so. I had been worried to death that something major was wrong. It stumbled whenever I started it up and drove it, and it took forever to accelerate, stumbling the entire time I stepped on the gas. I'd done some research online, and for a lot of others on message boards who'd experienced the same thing, the problem turned out to be plug/wiring problems. Uncle John looked under the hood before he and Nana left, and he found it was a bad spark plug in the engine. I was so relieved! Dad replaced all the plugs and wires once I got home.

Anyway, our little party at home was really nice. It celebrated both my graduation and Mother's Day. Darren and I gave Grammy a card, and I got Mom the hooded sweatshirt she'd wanted, along with a touching card it took me forever to pick out because I wanted it to be special. She cried when she read it, and everyone else who read it broke into tears, including me! Here's what it said (and I found it very touching and appropriate): "From Your Daughter: I'll Never Outgrow Your Love -- I can't imagine what I'd do / or even what I'd be / without the guidance, help and love / you've always given me. / Although I'd like to think that I / am living 'on my own,' / I know how much I need you, Mom, / even though I am grown."

My parents and Aunt Mo are getting me a new laptop for graduation, and Grammy gave me a gold bracelet. Tonight, my last night in Herkimer, Aunt Mo's taking me out to dinner. I can't be more grateful for the support and love I've received from my family and loved ones in these last weeks before and up to graduation and my impending move to Massachusetts. Though I'll be farther away, they understand it's time for me to "leave the nest" and begin my life with the one I love in an area I've grown so fond of (and so close to Providence, R.I., my beloved city). Thanks to everyone who's given support and friendship over these past four years of my college career. Without all of you, I would have never been able to wear that graduation gown and stand with the Class of 2008 to receive my bachelor's degree. I'm grateful to you all.

A new hope

2008-04-21T11:44:00.004-04:00

This is the last week of classes for me ... ever. It's really exciting to know that I'll be graduating soon. Plans have begun to move my stuff home and tie up some still-loose ends as far as final projects and papers go.

I'm also really excited about this weekend. Darren found a way to go with me to Washington, D.C. I'm travelling there after classes on Thursday for interviews I have on Friday. Darren's friend, who lives in nearby Montgomery Village, Md., has agreed to let us stay at his place until Sunday. One evening we'll be going out to dinner with him and his girlfriend. I imagine it's going to be a really great weekend. I've seen the sights of the U.S. capital before, but that was a long time ago. I'll also get to visit Gaithersburg, Md., about 30 miles away. I just hope nothing bad happens to my car ... thank God for AAA.

There's been an unexpected outpouring of (monetary) support from my family for this trip. I'm really grateful for it all, especially since I honestly hadn't expected any of it at all. It's good to know I still have the love and support of my extended family. I wish I could say I can easily support myself, but being a soon-to-be recent graduate without health insurance and nary a penny to my name, it's impossible for there to be any truth to that statement. I'm also really thankful I have Darren, who promises to take care of me no matter what. I can only hope I can contribute at least a fraction of my income to our needs.

Mayfest is tomorrow. I know, you're wondering why they call it Mayfest when it takes place in April, and honestly, even I can't answer that question. Since classes end April 29, I suppose the Syracuse University holiday originally took place in May, when classes probably ended sometime that month. What do I plan on doing on my day off? There's a poetry reading from 10 a.m. to 2 p.m. that I'll be taking part in. I submitted three poems, "Malady, Milady," "Autumn" and "Gravity, the Villain" -- three of my favorites that I've written -- to the English department, and I was just contacted and told I'm wanted to participate. It's really exciting, and somewhat nerve-wracking. I've never really read my poetry in a crowd setting before, much less I doubt that many people have read them.

Additionally, I plan to possibly get together with some fellow Syracuse for Obama members to watch the returns for the Pennsylvania primary. I've probably been anticipating this primary longer than I had Super (Duper) Tuesday, which is kind of sad, considering that was when we New Yorkers cast our ballots. I know Clinton's up in the polls in Pennsylvania, but I'm hoping she doesn't win by that big of a margin so at least Obama can scrape up some delegates and superdelegates. The more I watch her, the more Clinton angers me.

One giant leap for the German gastronomic world

2008-03-06T09:34:00.005-05:00

I missed Wednesday's New York Times, much to my chagrin. There was just way too much to get done that day! What with classes, practice with Obamarama for our stellar performance at Funk 'n' Waffles "Showcase Wednesday" last night and yes, even a little homework, I had zip time to read the paper. That disappointed me, being as I enjoy most of all the Times' Wednesday issue, because that's when the Dining & Wine section comes out. I did, however, check it out online, and found this interesting article by Carter Dougherty on the German food world.

It seems Germany has made impressive leaps this year, gaining three more restaurants with three Michelin stars (the highest ranking) after the German Michelin Guide appeared last November. That takes the count up to nine three-star Michelin restaurants in Germany, more than any European country except France. This has threatened the people I'm ethnically closest to: the Italians.

The article suggests they have no real reason to get up in arms -- at least for the time being.

If the French had any reaction to the German advance, it was apparently a collective shrug. With 28 three-star eateries, France has little reason to feel threatened by a Teutonic wave of haute cuisine. But Italians, for whom quality pasta and the perfect espresso are parts of daily life, can take heart. Only a small slice of German society, it turns out, has either the desire or the wherewithal to enjoy truly good food.
("Fine Dining Takes Small but Stellar Strides in Germany" by Carter Dougherty, The New York Times 6/5/08)

Sure, I'd have liked to see a bigger, more disgruntled French reaction, but I guess it'll have to wait.

The primary frenzy ... again (and a week early)

2008-02-26T16:11:00.002-05:00

So I've started filing my posts -- and what a better one to start off with than one about politics?

The New York Times reported today that Democratic presidential hopeful Sen. Barack Obama has sprung ahead of Sen. Hillary Clinton in polls. Apparently, those questioned in the New York Times/CBS News poll believe Obama is the best Democratic candidate to beat out Sen. John McCain in the general election.

As a fierce Obama supporter (and one who's been on his side since 2004), this is good news. The New York state primary may be long over and lost, but there's still hope for Ohio and Texas. Don't forget Rhode Island, either.

How could such a great state -- though the smallest in the Union -- go largely ignored by the general population? With such a great city as Providence (and a great show named after it), Rhode Islanders deserve a lot more respect. And who doesn't love coffee milk, which I've mentioned before?

Before this becomes a treatise on the glories of Rhode Island, I should discuss the upcoming events for the Syracuse for Obama section of his campaign. Next Tuesday, the night of the Ohio/Texas/Rhode Island/Vermont primaries, we'll be gathering once more at the Dewittshire Tavern on Erie Boulevard, in the same area as the Syracuse for Obama headquarters, to watch the results come in. If this gathering proves as fun and exciting as the one on Super "Duper" Tuesday, a good time should be had by all. I'm hoping they recruit John-John again to cater the event. That food was amazing.

Mmm ... (almost) free coffee

2008-02-25T23:54:00.004-05:00

Not that I'm associated with or endorse Dunkin Donuts in any way, I noticed (from Slashfood.com, a food blog I frequent) that it'll be selling 99-cent lattes (including the hot latte lite) today (it's 11:55 p.m., so I may as well count it as Tuesday) from 1 to 10 p.m. As the SlashFood post said, it's hard to think of who would buy a latte anytime after 1 p.m., but I'm sure there're those who would, especially on Syracuse University's campus. People are always meeting for coffee or get up so late for class that they need a jolt at 1 p.m. or later. Me, I'll be up at 8:30 a.m., but I'll still wait in line at Schine during my info-desk shift from 3:30 to 6:30 for that 99-cent latte-lite goodness.

The primary buzz

2008-02-13T08:56:00.008-05:00

Heather and I have the primary itch, it seems. We've been tuning in to CNN pretty much every time some state votes, and we practically went insane on Super Tuesday. Both Obama fans, we've caught every speech and watched closely as each precinct reported its results for the Democratic candidates. We don't pay too much attention to the Republicans, but we do give them enough mention to make fun of them.

We've even started a CNN "Wall of Shame" and a shrine to our favorite (male) anchors (Anderson Cooper, Rob Marciano and T.J. Holmes, of course). On the Wall of Shame hang ridicularious (remember that word I made up? The combination of ridiculous and hilarity?) quotes from pundits, anchors and even one from Sen. Obama himself.

Which brings me to a type of quandary I've found myself mulling over this past day. One of the pundits we tacked onto the Wall of Shame, a one Ms. Donna Brazile, is quoted as saying, "Barack Obama is no longer just getting the latte-drinking Starbucks kind. Now he's also getting the Dunkin Donuts kind." In many of Obama's speeches, he mentions "the teacher working a second job at a doughnut shop just to make ends meet." (Previously, he'd actually said "Dunkin Donuts" instead of "doughnut shop.")

And today, I see on one of the food blogs I read, Endless Simmer, that Obama was spotted at a Dunkin Donuts in the author's home city (Washington, D.C., I assume?):

Major celebrity sighting this morning at the Dunkin Donuts on 8th St. SE, as an intrepid [Endless Simmer] fan saw Barack H. Obama himself ordering his own coffee! Trying to expand his base maybe?

Coincidence? Or conspiracy?!

We are the ever-living ghost of what once was

2008-01-22T16:05:00.000-05:00

First week back: Couldn't ask for smoother. It was good to get back into a routine that doesn't so closely involve television, and my classes this semster are (so far) engaging and not too stressful. Magazine editing is great, because a lot of it revolves around design, which was all I did last summer at The Standard-Times. My other courses, most of them electives, are easier and more interesting than some of the other classes I had to take as requirements (article-writing, anyone?). The weather may not be at its best, but the atmosphere is positive and much more calm.

I'm also enjoying my work schedule, which fits perfectly around classes and still allows me some free time and enough hours to make roughly $70 a week. Yeah, it isn't much, but that's Work Study for you. It's enough for me to get by on campus.

Darren visited last weekend, and we went to the party on Friday. We left early, even though we felt bad leaving Heather, but she told us to just go. Apparently, she didn't leave long after us. It was super-crowded, with hardly any room to move and lots of yelling. I know, that's what a party's supposed to be like, but for me, it was too much. I guess I'm growing out of all that college stuff I used to look forward to each weekend as a freshman and sophomore -- even as a junior. Darren and I visited an Asian market, purportedly the largest of its kind in Central New York. I made him pork adobo, a traditional Filipino dish, which he said came out just like it should! I was excited, knowing I can make the dishes of the culture my boyfriend comes from. I love learning more from him about those things.

Sunday, Heather and I went to Chuck's to meet up with some friends for a couple drinks and to catch the end of the Giants/Packers game. It was a good time, with much cheering and many pitchers of beer over a game of Kings. The walk back home in the cold and snow was pretty brutal, and I'm surprised we actually made it to the bus stop without freezing to the sidewalk, but somehow, we were successful.

A story about how I make it on campus as a vegetarian in Thursday's Daily Orange? It'll be interesting to see my byline in that paper again. It sure has been awhile ...

'Hurdy-gurdy,' he sang

2008-01-16T10:24:00.000-05:00

Monday was my last first day of a semester. It was a busy one, to say the least. I found out I work that morning at Goldstein, just like last semester. I actually enjoy those kinds of shifts. It gives me a good opportunity to ease into the morning and also get some work done that I may not have done before. I can read the paper, do some crosswords, drink coffee and maybe answer people's questions in the meantime.

The rest of the week seems like a breeze. I work Tuesday afternoon after classes, but that's also a Goldstein shift, and a rather quiet one at that. Today I have three classes from 12:45 to 5:05 p.m. straight, but afterward there's plenty of time to come home, eat and finish any work I may have to do. It's kind of odd, actually, getting up early out of habit and easing into the day before my first class. I can actually eat lunch at home instead of packing it and bringing it. Most professors don't want you eating in their classes, anyway, which is kind of bad for me, because most of my classes fall during lunchtime, and I don't have any breaks in between to catch a quick bite.

One of my classes, a music appreciation class, only requires me to attend lecture once a week, the rest of the work being completed on my own time in the library's media center. I've never had a class like that before, and though work for my Newhouse classes won't require any major out-of-class work, like extensive interviews or research, this affords me plenty of "me" time, which I think I need these days.

I realize I've been focusing a lot on myself lately, and as a college student finishing up her last year and awaiting a major life change, how couldn't I? It's come to my attention, however, that in doing so, I've shut out a lot of people whom I consider most important in my life. It's time to change all that, but I'm not exactly sure how.

Party this Friday at one of Heather's friend's off-campus houses with a Skittles theme? Darren coming this weekend to visit? Should be a great (and most likely interesting) weekend.

Back to the daily grind

2008-01-08T09:58:00.000-05:00

It's somewhat disturbing that a week before classes even begin for my last semester of college *ever*, I get a homework assignment. Foreshadowing for the alleged rigorousness of Com Law? I'm willing to bet it is.

And yet I'm still not ready to go back. In fact, I'd be more than happy to continue my happy bored bliss at home, with its lazy routine: wake up around 9 a.m., have coffee/watch CNN/read The New York Times and The Washington Post online, read food blogs, do online crosswords, catch "The View" at 11, eat lunch, shower, walk the dog, catch "Rachael Ray" at 2 p.m. (yeah, I like her about as much as Anthony Bourdain does, but it's like a train wreck: I just can't help but watch), "Providence" at 3, prepare dinner for my parents, eat around 5 or 5:30, TV and finding stuff to bake for the rest of the night, with a couple drinks as a nightcap. Of course, this schedule varies now and then, depending on other events that may arise. My schedule for the spring semester may not be that hectic, but I'm sure it'll fill up once I figure work shifts and What the Health meetings into the mix.

Still, I must say I am anxious to start work again. I get a strange sense of pleasure out of info-desking and scheduling. I'm proud of the office I work under: Though I'm often given the opportunity to find fault with various other offices at Syracuse University, this is one that I can honestly say sticks to its guns and shows good reasoning behind the decisions it makes. It's also very open to criticism and feedback from those who utilize its services. It's very open-minded, diverse and friendly as well.

In this last week, I found out it won't be possible for Dennis' planned visit from overseas. I was hoping he'd be able to spend more than a week here, anyway, so I guess it's good that he plans on coming later; however, the circumstances that blocked his coming are extremely unfortunate: His mom had two heart attacks last week and (last I heard) is in intensive care in the hospital. Dennis called me on my way back from Darren's last Sunday to deliver the news. He said she appears stable but is still at the hospital for monitoring. I was very shocked and dismayed to hear this news. Mrs. Hartwich was like a mother to me when I was an exchange student five years ago. I spent more time at that house and with that family than I did with some of my own host families. I really hope she'll be OK. I want to be able to visit her and the family for many years to come.

Dashing through the snow

2007-12-20T11:30:00.000-05:00

It's so relieving not to have nonstop work. Finally rest has come to the weary, and I find myself home still in the first week of winter break. I never realized how relaxing it can be just sitting in front of the TV all day watching Food Network, baking Christmas cookies and coffee cakes, and cooking for my parents in the evening.

Last weekend, I went to SouthCoast to visit Darren. We exchanged Christmas gifts, attended his company's holiday party at the Westin in Providence, and went to Dave & Busters and played video games, which I'd never done before. Sunday night, I made another pilgrimage to The Standard-Times to see the old (Sunday-night skeleton) crew. We even (finally) found Autocrat coffee syrup -- at the Providence Wal-Mart, no less -- and when I got home, I finally made Rhode Island's official drink, coffee milk, for the first time. You gotta give it to my beloved Rhode Islanders: They sure know how to choose their official state drinks! Apparently, it used to be Del's Lemonade, which I also got to sample while living in Providence last summer. Of course, it's taste and texture is worlds different from coffee milk, but it's equally good!

Speaking of that lovely capital city, I saw its namesake TV show yesterday on the digital cable Lifetime channel. Apparently it's on every day at 3 p.m. I hadn't seen it before until now, and on top of the entertaining premise, characters, and plot situations, I loved the shots they showed of various parts of Providence I frequented on my daily walks around the city, especially downtown. The Providence Place mall hadn't been built at the time the show was on the air, but views of the State House and other places I'd seen in passing made me long for the city once more, even though I'd spent practically all this past weekend there. As Kyle says to Syd on the show: "Me, uh, I never left Providence. Never ... really wanted to." Syd's reply? "Trust me: The outside world is overrated."

'Tis the season ...

2007-11-22T12:16:00.000-05:00

Well, at last you're getting an update during the one time I (think I) have time to do it: a holiday break, in this case, Thanksgiving.

Darren's with us this year. He made the trip to Herkimer the same day I did (Tuesday), and we all (minus my brother) drove out to Buffalo to Nana's. The reason I do love coming here is because it's a nonstop cook- and eatfest, a welcome distraction from the mounds of transcribing, writing and reading I still have to do for class. The semester is wrapping up, and there's so much to get done. My brain is constantly fighting with me, pushing me toward other distractions so strongly I have no choice but to give in. I could only spend about 20 minutes today transcribing before I giving up in frustration at how tedious it is. This weekend I have to start writing, and I need to start showing some results, but I can't when I'm constantly urging myself away from such work. Let's face it: I wasn't cut out to write magazine feature articles.

I shouldn't have to do work on Thanksgiving day anyway, right? It's the one day I get to rest and enjoy a good meal with my family. But if I don't do anything today, I'll be too far behind, right?

I hate schoolwork. At this point it seems so pointless and stupid, just busywork to occupy my every moment until my fingers bleed and my brain explodes. So here's to holiday breaks, sharing a good bottle of wine, a bounty of food, and entertaining stories around the family table. Happy Thanksgiving, kids.

The world is such a wonderful place

2007-09-25T22:15:00.001-04:00

I know, I know, it's been forever ... again. I've been plunged into this wild ride that is the first month of fall semester, and I'm enjoying it just about as much as someone with a severe case of senioritis can. It's been unusually warm in Upstate New York, I must say. Everyone around me complains, but I refuse to. First of all, I love warm weather, and in a month or so everyone (including me) will be griping about being waist-deep in snow.

I always used to love the onset of fall, especially back when I was at home. The leaves' changing colors was the first indication, followed by that distinct fall scent that permeates the air whenever you step outside. Then would come the distinct rumble of those big yellow school buses stopping on the corner of Church and Margaret streets, where I'd stood for the first time in September of 1991 for my first day of kindergarten.

Meanwhile, back at SU, the highlight of the semester seems to be a big project for my magazine article-writing class: a 2,000-to-2,500-word feature article that may or may not get shopped out later to magazines as a freelance piece. I'm doing my story on Tea Leaf Green, and so far have conducted some insightful interviews. The whole mindset I've switched on, however, has been giving me lots of trouble. Sometimes I just can't wait for it to all be over; I just want it to end. This mindset of workworkwork has me constantly trying to get things done well ahead of time so that I can have more time to relax later. But when I do get the (rare) chance to do something relaxing, I feel bad about it because I could be doing work. Having some downtime today, I spent it frantically thinking of things I could be getting done and fretting about it, because if there's anything I missed, I'll be rushing to do it the night before it's due and will get completely frustrated that I hadn't done it when I had this free time. It's completely draining. I wake up hours earlier than I should most mornings, as I drift further into that state of not-quite-awake-but-not-quite-asleep and my mind begins focusing on the things I have to do that day, running over lists in my head and obsessing about things I may have forgotten.

There's no time for anything, not even going home, which I yearn to do more than anything. Just a day or two, to spend time with my family and continue my quest to relive my childhood. It's strange how I feel most homesick when I'm here, at school. I never feel it over the summer, when I'm even farther away from home and for longer periods of time without going home. I'm so close here, and yet here is where I feel the greatest pull toward Thruway Exit 30. Maybe it's that mindset I mentioned. It's driving me mad.

I don't even know how this whole mindset started. I do remember experiencing near-meltdowns at least once every semester of my college career, and they're never fun. But something about this one seems different. It's lasted too long, and it's taken a toll on my psyche. Now that I'm healthier, taking vitamins and fish oil and what-not, you'd think it wouldn't be so much of a problem, but I'm going nuts here.

I guess that's why they say "everyone drinks in college." Without weekend time set aside for a small liquor-filled indulgence now and then, I'm sure I would be having that meltdown right now.

Ah, the weekend. Mine will be spent in Ithaca, for a seminar on "German mediascapes" from Saturday morning until Sunday afternoon. I'm going with an SU German professor and three other students. The best part is, it's all free. When I signed up, I figured I had nothing to lose. Professionals from German media companies and talks on German/U.S. media? Fits right in with my own interests, and with free food and lodging thrown in, I was sold. The weekend after that, I'm hoping my parents are going to their camp, and I'm hoping Darren can come up so I can show him the Adirondacks and maybe even do a little relaxing myself. It'll be nice for him to meet my parents, too. From the things I've told him, he really thinks my mom is a wonderful person. I happen to agree.

On top of everything, I've been hard at work as a senior editor for What the Health, working with four writers on stories for the "Get Well" section of the magazine. It's interesting being the one who shapes and molds stories instead of the one who hacks them to pieces for grammar, style and length. I figure it's good experience for me to be on the other side of the glass for once. It's also kind of fun, being a decision-maker, though I often doubt my leadership abilities. I guess when placed in the role, the human being is ever quick to adapt to accomplish the tasks set before it.

Wondering aloud how we feel today

2007-09-03T08:50:00.000-04:00

*sigh* Summer has been over for a couple weeks now, and I'm back in Syracuse for the last school year of my life. I had to go back earlier than previously planned because of fall training for work at the info desk, which now I have to do at both Schine and Goldstein. Schine's a little crazier, but it's good to have that kind of pressure to live up to. I adapted and knew more about things down there than I had expected.

My class schedule isn't so bad, either: Monday through Thursday, with Friday through Sunday off to do homework, hang out, etc. Just be. I've had the worst case of senioritis even since the beginning of this past summer. The courseload doesn't seem that bad, however. Some require a lot of reading, though, and I spent an unexpected $300 on books this semester, which you can imagine put my bank account back a pretty penny; not to mention the fact that right after fall training, about four days before my return to Syracuse, I took my car into the shop to get an oil change and some things looked at. I told the mechanic to investigate this intense shaking in the wheel that happened every time I went between 60/65 and about 80 mph. Turns out there was a lot wrong with the car, nothing I'd done myself, just simple wear and tear. Plus, two of the tires were the incorrect size for the car, which made matters even worse. All in all, I had to get new struts, tires, screws, etc. (I don't even know all the work they did), amounting to about $1,000 of work. This past month I can perfectly sum up in three words: I be poor.

Leaving SouthCoast was one of the hardest things I've ever done. I have more amazing memories from that summer than I'll ever amass again over the same period of time. The people at The Standard-Times are like a family to me and were so charismatic, welcoming ... it's hard to explain the dynamic in that office and how it works so amazingly and in such a way that I felt instantly like one of them. On my last night of work, I was presented with a cake that read "Good Luck Liz" on it. Everyone told me I was the best intern the paper had ever had, and that I should come back. I really want to. If by next year there's a job there for me, I won't hesitate to take it. I'm so grateful for and amazed by the wonderful friendships and memories I made at that paper, as well as in Providence with my roommates and people I happened to befriend there. Don't worry, southern New England: You haven't seen the last of me yet.

The last shebang of the summer happened a day before I left. Darren and I took a day trip to P-town, or Provincetown, Mass., right on the tip of Cape Cod. It was one of the most amazing, beautiful days, and we have the pictures to prove it. Perhaps, when I get time (I have to work the 9:30-to-12:30 Goldstein shift this morning, and then I'm going home to pick up some stuff I left), I'll post them. The fabulous trip culminated with dinner at this nice, authentic Italian restaurant, complete with a heavy-duty espresso machine and Chianti bottles of various sizes adorning the walls ... and I mean adorning. It was just such a great day; it's hard to explain any more.

Not to say that life back in Syracuse has been boring or drab. This past Wednesday, I went back to Buffalo for the first time in over a year to see Tea Leaf Green at the Town Ballroom, my third time seeing them and the second time at the Town Ballroom. The show was simply stunning, and it was fun to hang out with Trevor, Josh, Plateface and the rest of the troupe afterwards. We even hung out with an eight-piece "afro-electronique" band from Cleveland, Ohio, called Mifune. They had done a great set during the show, and I was impressed by those cool cats. I hope to see them again sometime. I left around 5 a.m. after a long night of partying like a rock star, and didn't get back until around 7:30. At one point I got so tired I pulled over to a rest stop, locked all my doors and slept for about half an hour as the sun rose before me. I was suddenly jerked awake by some unknown force and continued on my way.

Yesterday was Juice Jam, which this year took place on South Campus, much to my and Heather's delight. What's more: Third Eye Blind was the headlining band, a group I'd been trying for years to see live. Unfortunately, however, I was a bit disappointed by their stage presence and quality of the music before a live audience. Maybe they're different outside a college setting, but I feel like they were just trying to appease the masses by playing what they wanted to hear. Maybe I'm just too spoiled from jam bands, whose repertoire most often includes hundreds of songs, and no two shows are ever alike because of the versatility they have with their setlists. Also, in most occasions, bands like that are meant to be heard live and not in the studio, so their stage presence is always top notch and nothing short of amazing. For Third Eye Blind, I happened to see Cory, an old student of my dad's whom I'd known since we were both in junior high, as well as Ryan, whom I'd met last year at some of the Zen sittings I attended (and intend to continue attending Wednesday evenings). I feel bad for ditching Heather and Rob, who was up from New Jersey to visit and see the show. Still, I hadn't seen these guys in a while, and it was fun to catch up, chill and chat. It was such an awesome, unexpectedly wonderful day.

With all this great stuff going on, it's hard to imagine what the future holds. I try not to think about it, though, and continue living in a constant present. It's seemed to work out pretty well so far.

Kayaking, Bush's language inadequacies and a whole lot more

2007-08-12T11:06:00.001-04:00

Neel, his coworker Darren and I went kayaking in Hopkinton, Mass., yesterday. We'd been planning it for a week, and it was more than I'd expected. It was amazing being out on the beautiful, clear, open water in a single kayak, paddling with two friends around islands and into the nooks and crannies of the lake. It was a perfect day, too, with tons of sun and only a few freckles of cloud dotting the sky. It was one of the most amazing days of my summer here. Before that, we hit up the Waltham Outlets, which Neel and Darren dubbed "heaven." After that, we went to Providence Place mall to Cheesecake Factory for dinner. I got an eggplant burger with fries. I hadn't eaten those in a while, and damn, were they good with ketchup and a side of mayo! Neel sped off afterward to see his girlfriend, and Darren and I went to the movies to see "The Bourne Ultimatum," which I found rather good. We stayed up talking about everything under the sun until about 2 a.m.

Timing sure does suck, doesn't it?

In reading The Washington Post today, I came across an article about French President Nicolas Sarkozy's visit to the Bushes. It was largely a lighthearted story, focusing on French-U.S. relations and what Sarkozy and the Bushes would eat for lunch. The last two graphs, however, struck me as simply hilarious in its truth. Here it is, straight from the horse's mouth:

Might the president at least speak a few words of French, as a gesture toward the new U.S.-French thaw?
"No, I can't," Bush said. "I can barely speak English."
- "French Leader's Visit With Bush Signals Warming" by Anne E. Kornblut, The Washington Post, 8/12/07

Truer words were never spoken, Mr. President.

There is exactly one week before I move back. I've already started thinking about packing, though I know I shouldn't, and I don't really want to, anyway. Mom's all excited about my homecoming and has proposed a going-away party for both me and my brother, who has already moved to Nashville, Tenn., and started a job handing out credit-card applications at an airport. He's also been looking for other part-time jobs in the area, too. So he's already sold out to the credit-card companies. I hope he doesn't try to sell me one.

In the deepest parts of me, I yearn for home, but the best situation would be if I could go home for a week or so to visit and then come back here and resume a job at The Standard-Times. Not only do I love the people and the culture of the office, I also love my roommates here in Providence. I've made some wonderful friendships this summer that I hope transcend these three months we've spent together. This has been the summer of my life, and I only hope it can get better after graduation. My life is just beginning, and I'm ready to take it on and enjoy every lasting moment of it.

Classes begin Monday, Aug. 27, and I've already decided to take a trip away from it all to see Tea Leaf Green in Buffalo that Wednesday night. I haven't seen my boys in almost a year, so it'll be a welcome sight to hang out with them again, just like old times. This, to me, is more important than some class. This is life, not the bubble of academia that tries its best to shield us from life and prolong our entry into it as long as possible. I'm ready to break out of that bubble. I think I've been ready for a while now, and spending this summer doing what I'm doing has made me realize that.

Bring it on, world. I'm ready.

I do my little turn on the catwalk

2007-08-06T18:20:00.000-04:00

OK, so maybe a catwalk wasn't involved, but I did do a bit of modeling last week, and the resulting photos, I must say, came out stunningly well. My buddy Don, a fellow Standard-Times copy editor and musician, also has an affinity for photography, and asked if I'd do a shoot after seeing me wear my signature black bandana one night. How could I pass up such an opportunity? It was fun driving around Dartmouth and Fairhaven, posing in vast farm fields and by typically rural New England stone fences with gorgeous arrays of daffodils in front.

By now I'm sure you're aching to get your hands on these photos. The link to my section of Don's photo Web site is here. He also made a post about the shoot in his own blog, which you can find here.

Two weeks remain until I have to drive back home and begin the commute to the seemingly senseless fall training I have to undergo for my job at SU. *sigh* Oh, the humanity.

You know that I'm no good

2007-08-02T19:09:00.000-04:00

I can't help what anyone else says about her: I love Amy Winehouse. Yeah, sure, she (and I) probably should go to rehab, but her album "Back to Black" just gets me. Yeah, Normally I'm not into lounge/reggae, but her stuff just resonates so much with me; not to mention the fact that she kind of looks like me, sans all the tattoos and the scars from when she cut herself earlier, per the Rolling Stone article. (So many of you say I look like Sarah Silverman, I may as well look like Ms. Winehouse, who is also Jewish.) Check out my favorite video of hers, "You Know I'm No Good."

As soon as I know the results of my modeling stint, I'll let you all know. Should be soon. I'm expectant of the results myself.

I'm so not into returning to 'Cuse. Please, let me graduate already. Throes of Third Eye Blind's "Graduate" resonate already.

The Afghanistanization of TV

2007-08-01T11:24:00.001-04:00

“Maybe Afghanistan is not so different from other places,” said Muhammad Qaseem Akhgar, a prominent social analyst and newspaper editor. “People watch television because there is nothing else to do.”
- "Amid War, Passion for TV Chefs, Soaps and Idols" by Barry Bearak, The New York Times, Aug. 1, 2007

I thought this quote from an Afghan newspaper editor was spot on. Isn't that the real reason everyone watches television, anyway?

I guess that says a lot for me, since I've lived without watching TV the entire summer (save while I'm working, but mostly what's on are Red Sox games), and I couldn't be happier. ... Though I do miss the occasional Food Network show ...

I also especially enjoyed the last few grafs of the story, in which the head of Afghan TV station Tolo TV remarks about the correlation between democracy and TV.

“It has been quite odd,” said Saad Mohseni, Tolo’s chief. “This is Afghanistan, a young democracy, and we don’t have problems with the drug dealers or the Taliban or even the local populace. Our problems are all with the government, either because of red tape or attempted censorship or someone with a vested interest trying to extract money.”
He paused for effect.
“With democracy comes television. It’s hard for some people to get used to.”

I am the keeper of the songs of everyone

2007-07-31T21:04:00.000-04:00

I've been designing local covers so far this week. I think it's a great opportunity to amass some decent clips. It's so hard to believe there're only a few weeks left before I have to go back home. I can't stress enough how much I'm going to miss this place, how much I want to come back next year, how much I want to be part of it all full time.

So tomorrow I'm set to be a model for a few hours. Never done that before. Should be interesting and fun.

Screw the Providence rule about no parking on the street overnight. Whoever made that was a fool. I finally got ticketed last Saturday night (technically it was Sunday, because it was at 3 a.m. when the ticket was written). I feel bad for the cops they make go out in the wee hours of the morning and write tickets for every car out on the street between the hours of 1 and 7 a.m. Besides, it's not like the street I live on is so narrow that you can't see to go around the cars at night. It's hard enough during the day on some of the more narrow streets. I figure, though, if I can keep this up, getting one ticket a week, it'll still be better than paying $125 a month for a parking space half a mile away.

Looks like Dow Jones is going to Rupert Murdoch. You can't imagine how pissed this makes me. I utterly loathe the man and his News Corporation, which I believe is slowly eroding the high professional standards and ethics journalism and news coverage used to possess. There's no doubt in my mind he'll turn around The Wall Street Journal and slash and burn at smaller Dow Jones papers like The Standard-Times. It's just sad. There's a distinct probability I'll be working for that man sometime next year.

So about a week and a half ago I finally got my hands on Anthony Bourdain's "Kitchen Confidential: Adventures in the Culinary Underbelly" and have been vigorously tearing into it every day since. It's become probably one of my favorite books. It's humorously well written and combines everything I love: food, cooking, vigilantes living life on the edge, music and even a little booze now and then (all right, maybe the book contains a bit more than a little). At any rate, if any of you culinarians haven't read this book yet (I'd be surprised if there were some among you), I highly suggest you do. Bourdain has become a very high-ranking idol of mine, right up there with the likes of Ian Anderson and Mario Batali.

Out on a wire

2007-07-23T22:36:00.000-04:00

My days as wire guru at The Standard-Times ended last Friday. I had been on wire duty for two weeks, while Kenny was on vacation. It was quite the experience and gave me a slight feeling of power, knowing I was making key decisions about what was going in the paper, what readers would look at (or, more likely, skip over) the next day. After a while, I noticed the design aspect of it was kind of limited, and got kind of bored as the same stories kept popping up and I lost inspiration as to how to tackle the page layout.

Still, I'm sure it'll serve me well in the future, having experience pulling wire, making decisions as to newsworthiness of stories and designing World & Nation, State & Region and Business pages. As it seems, I may be making a return to New Bedford sometime after graduation ...

It's so hard to believe there're only about three more weeks left of my internship. Ten weeks just aren't enough, I think. Still, I also get the feeling that I don't need to learn anything else from a classroom. I wish I could bypass my senior year and just get a degree and start work. I feel like I have everything I need, with three years in Newhouse and two amazing internships, one a Dow Jones internship, which last year I'd only dreamed of landing.

I look back at all the things I've accomplished in the past three years, and I find it hard to believe that before then, I didn't even konw what AP Style was, much less how to structure/write a news story. I had never heard of Rupert Murdoch, Dow Jones and had only read a scant few issues of The New York Times.

I wonder how all these things happen. And why to me, anyway? I don't consider myself anyone special or any more talented than the next guy. And yet here I am, "and I can't feel anything but gratitude for every single moment of my stupid, little life." (Lester Burnham, "American Beauty")

Farewell to a farewell

2007-07-19T14:42:00.000-04:00

"Often a man wishes to be alone and a girl wishes to be alone too and if they love each other they are jealous of that in each other, but I can truly say we never felt that. We could feel alone when we were together, alone against the others. It has only happened to me like that once. I have been alone while I was with many ... and that is the way that you can be most lonely. But we were never lonely and never afraid when we were together. I know that the night is not the same as the day: that all things are different, that the things of the night cannot be explained by the day, because they do not exist, and the night can be a dreadful time for lonely people once their loneliness has started."
- Ernest Hemingway, "A Farewell to Arms"

A farewell to arms ... and innocence

2007-07-05T16:22:00.000-04:00

"I had gone to no such place but to the smoke of cafes and nights when the room whirled and you needed to look at the wall to make it stop, nights in bed, drunk, when you knew that that was all there was, and the strange excitement of waking and not knowing who it was with you, and the world all unreal in the dark and so exciting that you must resume again unknowing and not caring in the night, sure that this was all and all and all and not caring. Suddenly to care very much and to sleep and to wake with it sometimes morning and all that had been there gone and everything sharp and hard and clear ... Sometimes still pleasant and fond and warm and breakfast and lunch. Sometimes all niceness gone and glad to get out on the street but always another day starting and then another night. I tried to tell about the night ... and I could not tell it; as I cannot tell it now. But if you have had it you know."
- Ernest Hemingway, "A Farewell to Arms"

Eine deutsche Nachricht

2007-06-28T17:38:00.000-04:00

Ha! Nur weil mir langweilig ist, habe ich mich entschlossen, eine deutsche Nachricht zu schreiben. Vielleicht sehen einige diese Nachricht und melden sich, haha. Wer weiss, wer mein Blog häufig liest? Es ueberrascht mich immer, wenn ich irgendeine Geschichte erzähle und der Zuhörer zu mir sagt: "Ja, ich weiss schon, ich hab's von deinem Blog mitgekriegt".

Heute habe ich Kekse mit "Trail Mix" (einer Mischung von Nüssen, trockenen Beeren und Schokoladenplätzchen) gebacken und sie zum Standard-Times Bureau mitgebracht. Die ganzen Mitarbeiter scheinen total begeistert zu sein und haben schon die Hälfte davon gegessen. Es macht mich stolz, dass ich etwas backen kann und es mit meinen Mitarbeitern teilen. Noch besser ist, dass ihnen mein Backen so gut gefällt.

Heute abend baue ich zwei Seiten der Zeitung auf: Seite 3 und Seite 7. Seite 3 ist die "Second Front" Seite, und Seite 7 ist die "SouthCoast" Seite, das heisst, beide bieten örtliche Artikel, auf die ich noch warten muss. Die Seiten sind schon im Prinzip aufgebaut worden, und ich muss nur die Artikel durchlesen und in die Seiten einsetzen.

OK, enough German. Dinnertime.

A whale of a paper

2007-06-22T20:27:00.000-04:00

It may be a while tonight at work. I was assigned four pages tonight, two of which are done. The other two I have to wait for, because they are throw pages. The Portuguese president came to visit New Bedford and Fall River today because they have the highest concentration of Portugese-Americans in the entire country, and you can imagine The Standard-Times is milking the story to its fullest extent. I'm designing Page 2, where the "throws" (or jumps) for the Portugese president stories will go. Two reporters are out now covering the story, and they (stupidly) left with the president's press entourage and are now stranded at UMass Dartmouth with no ride back to the paper, so the night reporter had to go out to get them. That should put things back about another hour, because then they have to finish the stories, develop the photos and get everything sent in to us. Then it has to all be edited and plopped on Page 1 and thrown onto my page, which I can then lay out. All this on a Friday!

At least I have the weekend off. It's supposed to be nice, so perhaps I can hit up a beach or two and take some more lovely photos. I have some from before that I should put up soon.

OK. The decision has been made

2007-06-12T15:24:00.001-04:00

... I'm so moving to Providence later. I've concluded there's everything here -- even a culinary museum! It's a city after my own heart. I plan on visiting the museum tomorrow. Until then, make way for me sometime next summer, Providence, because I'm hoping to make you my permanent residence.

... and then there were four

2007-06-08T18:20:00.000-04:00

Lieven left us this morning, so now there're four roommates left in the house for the summer. It was sad to see him go. We got along, I thought. At least now the living room will be inhabitable, because Neel can move into Lieven's room.

There was a bit of a scare the other day when Lieven and Jen didn't come home one night after they went flying to Nantucket. Turns out the alternator on the plane wasn't working, so they had to land in Hyannis, Mass., and stay the night. The next morning, they finally got the plane to start, and took off back to Providence. Andrew and I were a bit worried, to say the least, but luckily, Jen showed up a couple minutes after I text-messaged her, and the potential crisis was averted.

As for work, designing is becoming easier and easier, and subsequently I've been receiving more and more pages. Tonight (Friday) is an easy night (as most are, I've heard), so I only have two pages to do, and they don't need to be worked on until later. One is a jump, or "throw" page, which gets done toward the end of the night after all the stories have been placed on the front page. The other is a "slop" page, which fills up space in Classifieds, so I only have a strip of two columns on which to place two stories and a standalone photo. (Sorry if this doesn't make much sense to you nonjournalists out there.) At any rate, designing constantly has given me room to grow exponentially in ability. Pages get done quicker each night, and each night they also look better and make me feel prouder to have made them. I'm really thankful for this internship: Copy editors these days need lots of design experience to get a good job, because more and more, as papers have to cut staff to save money, copy editors must serve as designers as well. Gaining this experience now will only benefit me later, when I begin searching for jobs.

Back in Massachusetts ...

2007-06-03T23:51:00.000-04:00

I took a field trip today to New Bedford, Mass., to see The Standard-Times building and bum around the town awhile. I didn't realize that Sundays were such dull days in Massachusetts. Practically everything (except a few restaurants) were closed that afternoon, including The Standard-Times itself -- from what I could see. Will my job be a Monday-to-Friday thing? That would be nice to have weekends off, but somehow I doubt that'll happen. It is copy-editing, after all.

So I walked around for a while and took in the scenery, if that's what you could call it. At least parking was free, and the drive there wasn't that bad. I got to traverse the bridge shown in Emeril's Food Network special about Fall River, Mass., where he's from, and where I pass right through on my way to work. From the looks of it, Fall River is a bit nicer (and larger) than New Bedford. I found the cobblestone streets and narrow alleyways quaint, and the wharf I saw was homey and typical New England fishing town, but something was lacking. People? Liveliness? Maybe tomorrow when I go to work things will be more on the up-and-up, and I'll learn to love New Bedford, even though I'll just be working there.

Perhaps it was the weather that left me hanging. This morning, I woke up to the sound of rain and small rumblings of thunder now and then. After a shower and coffee that had been left from when Lieven made it this morning (I assume), I began to prepare for my trip to New Bedford, and Lieven returned from a morning bike ride. He knocked on Jen's door covered in water. "You want to see a wet T-shirt contest?" he asked. "You better get up and see it quick!"

"I think you take first place in this contest, Lieven," I said, laughing, as he went off to take a shower. Luckily, the rain held off for the rest of the day, and there were even a few breaks of sunshine in New Bedford, but not enough to lift my spirits and fulfill my expectations of that quaint, sleepy little New England town I'd envisioned before my arrival. Where has the weather from this past weekend gone? Tomorrow is supposed to be even worse than today, with rain basically all day and temperatures around 65 degrees, as compared to the sunshine and 80-degree weather I'd enjoyed upon my arrival Friday.

At any rate, I snapped a quick photo of The Standard-Times building before heading back to Providence:

It isn't a very big building (not half as large as The Buffalo News), but I think that'll make things more social and interesting. I'm excited and a bit nervous to start work tomorrow. I'll leave around noon to make the 1 p.m. lunch time my editor and I had discussed. After that, a quick orientation and a bit of work on the copy desk, and an early night.

Another note: I'm working on the parking situation. The police still haven't questioned why I keep calling asking them not to ticket me when I leave my car on the street all night. I figure as long as they don't give me any crap, I'll keep calling until I find a more permanent solution. Tonight I searched Craigslist for parking spaces for rent nearby. I found three, two of which I've queried by e-mail. The third I'll probably call tomorrow or whenever I get a chance. I hope this can be resolved soon, so I don't have to keep bugging the cops.

And so, life in Providence goes on. I'm hoping I can get some time to take the bus to see Scott up in Boston. It's only about 50 miles away, after all, and I haven't really seen much of the city at all, except once when I was little and we went to see the gigantic aquarium there. I can't even remember why we went in the first place. We must have been passing through Massachusetts on the way to Maine or something. That's the only thing I can think of.

I can't wait for my first paycheck. Rent and an impending gas-tank fill-up are going to knock me lower than I'd like. Once I get a steady income and see money coming in again, I'll feel more at ease.

Living it up in Providence, R.I.

2007-06-02T12:42:00.000-04:00

After about eight hours of straight driving (stopping only once in a sketchy part of Jersey to get gas), I finally made it to Providence yesterday evening around 5:30. Traffic was horrible going through the City all the way to New Haven, Conn., but I got to traverse the George Washington Bridge, which was an experience. Traffic jams were copious yesterday, which I assume is normal for that area, especially considering the wonderful weather and the fact that it was Friday. It was a good trip, though. I'm realizing the more I travel that the more I love it. Going random places, seeing random things, meeting random people -- it's a new rush that almost beats cooking.

So at any rate, I arrived flushed and exhausted at my apartment. I was surprised to learn how truly close it is to downtown. The roommates are awesome -- after last night, I think we're going to get along wonderfully. I just met them, and already we seem to get along very well. Last night we went to Waterfire, a weekly event during the summer in Providence, where they light fires on the river, and little gondolas ferry people up and down. On the banks, they serve food and drinks. I should have brought my camera and uploaded some pictures, but since it happens every week, I'm sure there'll be more times I'll go.

I finally finished unpacking all my stuff today and went grocery shopping. A new subletter is coming in today, and I have to be here to let him in and show him around. There are two girls (including myself) and two guys on our floor of the house. I thought it would be weird living with/sharing a bathroom with guys, but so far it hasn't been bad. The girls' rooms are on one side of the apartment (my room being very close to the bathroom and kitchen -- a plus) and the guys' are on the other. One of the roommates is a painter, and his stuff is hanging up all over the apartment. It's amazing -- when I first saw it, I was baffled by the talent he has. It's also awesome to have modern art right there in the apartment hanging all over -- and the artist lives right here!

The other female roommate, Jen, told me that we're only about 15 minutes from the ocean. I'm so excited about that -- I'll definitely be taking some trips to the beach this summer -- whenever I get the chance. I suppose they don't call Rhode Island the Ocean State for nothing!

The only issue I have to deal with right now is parking. There's no overnight parking in Providence (at least in the area where I live), and we only have one parking space at the apartment, so Jen and I are trying to work out the logistics of where I could park without getting a ticket each night. Too bad I'll be working in New Bedford and have to commute; the male roommates don't have cars and take their bikes everywhere, which I actually admire. Of course, they need rides when they go grocery shopping and whatnot. Everything is within reach -- either walking or a quick drive, and it's all very accessible -- no crazy directions or anything.

I start work at The Standard-Times on Monday. I'm coming in early, because my boss wants to take me to lunch before my quick orientation. I might even get to meet the managing editor and possibly even the editor in chief, he said. I'm excited about the job. After orientation, I go straight to work for the 5 p.m.-to-midnight shift. It'll be good to have an income again -- all this traveling and shopping for groceries and other needed items has put me a little bit under. Tomorrow I'll have to pay my first month's rent as well.

I think that's about it. I'm excited to meet the new roommate and just bum around Providence. It's going to be one hell of a summer.

I've looked at life from both sides now

2007-05-16T16:59:00.000-04:00

Yeah, I know, it's been a while. There've been a lot of things getting in the way of coming up with something to post: hormones, finals, tying up last-minute details for the end of the school year. Hard to believe I'm a senior now! Still, there are a lot of things to experience before senior year commences. I can't skip through the entire summer now, can I?

At this point, I'm just waiting for the ball to drop and for everything to stir into motion. May 20 around 8:30 or 9 a.m. I'll be taking off, all things needed for the summer packed and prepared, for Penn State. I've already mapped out the route, as well as that from Penn State to Providence, R.I., where I'll be subletting a room on the first floor of a house of apartments. I'll be sharing the apartment with three other people, two girls and a guy, mostly graduate students. June 1 I move in there, and June 4 I start at The New Bedford Standard-Times. I received an e-mail recently from my editor there, who jokingly asked me if I owned a gun (apparently New Bedford isn't as safe as I'd suspected). We also have plans to do lunch the day I start, along with the paper's managing editor and possibly editor in chief.

Speaking of food, Aunt Mo and I have dinner plans at Symeon's for tomorrow evening -- a last ta-da before I leave. With hope, Grammy and I will be able to do lunch together Friday after I drive Aunt Mo to the train station. Her train to Buffalo leaves at 11:30 a.m. I almost wish I could join her, just to get back to the city I lived in all last summer. It grew on me. Maybe Providence and New Bedford will as well, though I'm sure I won't make as many friends with the other interns as well as I did last summer at The News. I'm not even sure there are any other interns at The Standard-Times. I sure hope there are, but the paper is a bit smaller than Buffalo's, so I guess we'll see. At any rate, it'll be a very exciting and wonderful experience. It's all so exciting and a little scary at the same time, as all foreign and new occurrences are.

But a short skip back in time is in order. My finals done and my stuff packed up, I treated Mom and Aunt Mo to lunch at the Faculty Dining Center exactly one week ago, bid junior year goodbye and came home for the first time in a couple months. I spent the day reorganizing my things and storing them. I won't need most of them this summer, so I anticipate everything will fit in my car. The apartment in Rhode Island is furnished, so I don't need that many cooking supplies (other than my ubiquitous espresso machine, of course).

The highlight of my one-and-a-half weeks at home took place last Sunday, on Mother's Day. I had had plans to spend the weekend in Buffalo, but decided against it after Mom explained the plans for Mother's Day. I bought four cards -- each for Mom, Aunt Mo, Grammy and Nana -- and got Mom a grill pan that fits on two coils on the stovetop. At Grammy and Grampy's -- where the get-together took place -- I grilled eggplant, green bell pepper, red onion, asparagus, summer squash and zucchini, and brought a potato salad with lemony vinaigrette I had prepared the day before. All was a hit, including Grammy's London broil, onion rings, garlic bread and sauteed mushrooms, as well as her dessert of strawberry shortcake. It was a fabulous and memorable get-together, with tears shed over sentimental cards and old letters my mom had written to Aunt Mo during her stint in Syracuse back in the early '70s. Michael was sadly unable to accompany us because he had to work (he's been doing a lot of that lately), but overall it was everything I love about family "parties": good food, conversation, company and, of course, wine. When I think back on my week and a half here, this will be what I remember most fondly.

Other than that, I've basically been relaxing here, watching Food Network, answering e-mails, preparing for Penn State and The Standard-Times, preparing meals for my family, making good use of my mom's liquor cabinet and working on my summer reading "project": Thomas Mann's "Der Zauberberg" ("The Magic Mountain") -- the German version. More than 900 pages of German prose by one of Germany's most prestigious and well-read authors -- it couldn't get any better. Now, if only Lillian Jackson Braun would come out with a new "Cat Who ..." book ...

No reservations

2007-04-17T00:03:00.000-04:00

Oh, Anthony Bourdain, you angel, you. Your comments about the first "Food Network Awards" show last night startled and amused me. I admit, I did watch the show and humbly enjoyed it. As a foodie, how could a young cook (read: chef wannabe) not be taken in by the seeming rapture and allure of the food celebs, the hype, the awards? Of course, a seasoned (no pun intended) chef like you should know better. Perhaps, in time, I'll learn for myself. Until then, I'll go on as an avid viewer of "Emeril Live" and "Molto Mario." At least Mario had the strength of character not to appear at the awards. Maybe he was too busy in the city monitoring his hundred or so restaurants.

So on a totally other note ... I seem to have engendered myself to the law school kids. They seem so much more my type than undergrads, who seem somewhat less than mature for my taste. Don't get me wrong; I know plenty of undergrads (most of them seniors who are leaving this year anyway ...) who challenge me intellectually. Still, these guys have it going on. They introduced me to the downtown lounge bars, like Al's. Nothing better than that place, let me tell you. They even serve bruchette after 11 p.m. Everyone's totally friendly there, and there's never any cover. The drinks are pretty sweet, too.

We're housing some accepted students until tomorrow morning. They came on Sunday and have been gorging themselves on campus life ever since, with their schedules full of activities geared toward acclimating them (in a sense) to life here at SU. The snow storm last night and during the day today probably gave them a very adequate foretaste of what things are really like here. Why, just this morning the bus I took to campus for my 9:30 a.m. class got stuck in the snow about five times before actually deciding not to attempt to go up the Slocum Heights hill any further and just get us to campus. By the afternoon, things were starting to melt, but I anticipate tomorrow will still be snowy, cold and dismal as ever before. Can't we be done with winter by now? Someone upstairs must hate me ... everyone knows how depressed winter makes me.

Well, time for some beauty rest. Tony -- if you're reading this -- we should go out sometime. We have a lot to talk about. I know this nice little place in Syracuse called Alto Cinco ... and you don't even need reservations.

And as I fall apart, I learn to fly

2007-04-01T13:36:00.000-04:00

Because the weather was so beautiful yesterday, we of 311 Chinook Dr. apartments 1 and 2 decided to have an impromptu grill party. We bought probably about 3 or 4 pounds of meat at P&C, along with huge cartons of macaroni and potato salad and 6-packs of good beer (Wachusetts Blueberry and Sam Adams). With Tostitos, salsa and queso, our party was complete. We had some friends over and fired up the grill, sitting outside on fold-out chairs with tons of food piled on our two tables, which we'd grabbed from our two apartments. It was an amazing day on our little "quad," with others around us having their own revelries. At one point, we even witnessed a streaker, clearly the object of a shutout in beer pong. We spent the day savoring the beautiful sun and mild temperatures, gathering around the grill for warmth and just enjoying each other's company. For me, this is the epitome of life, especially life in college: gathering with good friends and sharing a few drinks, with plenty of food and good times to go around. I, of course, grilled a tofu dog instead of regular hot dogs.

Later, Heather, Rob, Tom, Kristin and I took the Warehouse bus downtown to the bars. We hit up Kitty Hoynes, an Irish pub that especially excited Tom and Rob, and then we went to my pick, Al's Whisky and Wine Lounge. I had gone there the night before and had just fallen in love with it. It's a chill, hip place with a library of rare liquors and wines (the bottles line an entire wall behind the bar, and there's even a ladder for the bartenders to reach the higher-up ones). The crowd is naturally a little older than at the Marshall Street bars, but they seem more bohemian -- more my type. Actually, it's more like a mix of hipsters and trendy businesspeople. I like it. It's a place I feel like I could keep coming back to each weekend, even if I drive there and just have a few drinks. It isn't necessarily a place I'd want to get wasted at. Apparently it opened just last year, so it's really new, but you wouldn't realize it, because it's so packed and seems like a popular hangout already. There's always so much going on there, and everyone seems really friendly and outgoing. Just my scene.

The weeks are going by so quickly, it's hard to believe it'll be the end of the school year soon. I'm almost a senior. Geez. Before I know it I'll be scrambling to find a job. But first, Dow Jones. Not to mention the fact that next weekend I'll be driving home to spend Easter weekend with my family. I'm looking forward to that. It's always nice coming home, and now that I have a car, I can drive myself and not have to wait for my parents to come pick me up.

Now that all my work is done in preparation for tomorrow's classes, I think I'll spend the rest of the day recovering from the weekend. It's definitely one of those days where you don't change out of your pajamas and curl up by yourself on the couch with a mug of hot chocolate and a good
movie or novel. Like good nights out at chill places with chill friends, these days are also to be prized.

Thrown like a star in my vast sleep

2007-03-17T17:26:00.000-04:00

Ahh it's still snowing. No matter: I have everything I need for this summer. Bring it on.

I'm going to be living in Providence, R.I. in a nice furnished apartment with three other people. I'm really excited. Yesterday the girl whose room I'll be taking called and we talked about my lifestyle and a little about the apartment and the accommodations and whatnot. Today a girl with whom I'll be rooming called and we talked, and she said she'd tell the girl whose room I'll be taking that I'm the one who'll be taking the room. I'm so excited; it's even cheaper than last summer in Buffalo. I heard Providence is a great city, and it's only a 30-mile commute from there to New Bedford, Mass., where I'll be interning. I've been receiving a copy of the paper almost every day now, in order to get a foretaste of what it's like and the style of their copy. I'm so excited.

I also have a car. I'm taking Dad's 2001 Ford Focus. We spent all week looking at different dealers and came up with nothing that will last me at least three years. The only car we found was a 2002 Saturn from Skinner's, where my grandfather used to work, so we trust their cars really well. All in all, the car would come to $4,000, which I could definitely afford. The only problem is the car is standard. After I tried driving it a bit, I became discouraged. My dad decided to take it and have me pay for it and I'd take his Focus. I figure it's a better deal than I'd ever find from a dealer, so I accepted. $4,000 later, I'm all set. The Focus still has to be fixed up (the steering wheel has some minor creaking issues), so I should have it by the end of next week. I'm so excited. This is the last thing I need for the internship. I'm so glad I don't have to worry about anything else for this summer. All I have to do is brush up on my style skills and enjoy the rest of the semester (right -- huge projects coming up). Spring break ends tomorrow, and it's been nice relaxing at home, but I am looking forward to going back and hanging out with my friends. Drew and I, in a semi-drunken state, made a deal that I'd go with him to his fraternity's formal, so I may end up going to my first formal in college. That'd be fun. I packed my lacy black dress just in case.

A car, finally. It's St. Patrick's Day -- time for another drink. ;)

We race away from who we used to be

2007-02-25T18:25:00.000-05:00

I'd say it's been a productive week. I finished my paper on the different forms of decomposition in William Faulkner's "As I Lay Dying" for my English class and turned it in Friday morning. I then proceeded to treat my slightly hung over self to a large salad at Fac. I figured I deserved it, after writing seven pages of pure dribble.

Also on Friday, I screened a film version of Arthur Schnitzler's "Reigen" for my German class. It was a cold walk from the bus stop and back, but I went out later that night, as on Thursday. I met up at Faegan's that night with some friends, and Friday I found myself at Chuck's. I'm getting more into the bar scene, if only for the reason that I love meeting and interacting with people. During the week it's often difficult to have a social life, other than at work, when interaction with people is part of my job. Still, weekends for me are a needed escape to hang out with friends and get away from the usual routine of wake up, get the paper and a coffee, go to class, come home, go to work for a few hours, eat dinner and watch TV until bed time. One cannot live such a life on the weekend. With the isolation of South Campus and my lack of a car, I'd go crazy otherwise. Who knows how I survived before turning 21.

My main concern this week is my seven to 10-page paper for Critical Perspectives. It's the first "stage" of a large semester-long project involving me coming up with a mission statement for my future career, discussing the work of someone I admire, why my work should be protected by the First Amendment and citing a case involving my field. I have an idea of what I want to write about; I just need to delve into researching and writing it, with the hope that I can write enough to fill seven to 10 pages. Plainly put: I am not looking forward to this.

Today I got a lot done, though. I wrote a (mediocre) review of the movie "Breach" for my magazine class tomorrow morning. I went to see it last night and was pretty impressed. I'm glad we didn't see "The Number 23" as we'd proposed. Maybe critics are good for something after all. I also wrote a paper for my German class in which I had to compare "Reigen" the film to Schnitzler's play. I hope two pages suffice. Along with a "Law & Order: SVU" marathon on USA today, I'd say it's been a pretty good, successful day. I even got to treat myself with a homemade meal of tuna poached in white wine, vinegar, honey and spices, served over couscous with a side of green beans. Delicious. I haven't cooked like that in a while, mostly because I haven't had the time, what with work and all. My desire for take-out food (mostly from Goldstein) has also grown, something I'm not sure I like. Nothing beats home-cooked food, that's for sure. I love the satisfaction of knowing what goes into my food and that I prepared it all myself. Nothing makes me happier.

The weather outside is frightful ...

2007-02-17T16:02:00.000-05:00

We've gotten so much snow this past week that Syracuse University decided to cancel Wednesday's classes for the second time in its history and the first time in 14 years. Here are some photos of the aftermath:

I can't believe people actually read this thing. There hasn't been all that much going on, besides the snow and the fact that I've been working my ass off lately. Two papers due in the next two weeks, plus a lot of front desk work at Goldstein. Next week's paycheck is going to be awesome. Because of the canceled classes Wednesday, I worked an extra two hours after learning that no one works after my shift until 2:30. I'm also taking a shift for someone today from 4:30 to 7:30. I'm hoping to get some work done there. Who knows?

It's amazing how much hormones control what we think and feel, and how little control we really have over it. Such is the case with me. I found out I have PMDD, or premenstrual dysphoric disorder. It only affects a small percentage of menstruating women, and it's basically PMS on crack. My hormones become so imbalanced I experience clinical depression about a week or two before my period. Luckily it wasn't that bad this month, but the times when I do get depressed are really unnerving. It's so sad not wanting to interact with people and just withdraw into myself, knowing I can't control it and no one can help me at the moment. I heard about a new birth control pill whose main aim is to treat PMDD. I may check into it soon. Until then, it's vitamin supplements and inositol, a supplement considered part of the B vitamin complex that has been shown in studies to help with seratonin levels in the brain. I don't know if it's helped at all, but at least things are much better than they were last month.

It's off to Chuck's tonight with Kai and Chris. With hope and luck, I'll be later joined by Heather, who celebrates her birthday (along with my dad) tomorrow! Shout-out to both of them. :)

Going behind the lens

2007-01-01T00:29:00.000-05:00

I thought because of my visual nonabilities that I would never pick up a camera, but today I took the digital camera Chris gave me for Christmas out into the backyard and attempted some "artsy" shots. After some photoshopping, I was pretty pleased with the results.

Shack in the farthest area of the backyard, behind this big fir tree.

Sunlight coming through the fir tree.

A wooden step my brother tried to nail to the fir tree years ago.

An old boat (not ours) by the shack.

Deer must have come through the yard last night ...

Well, I tried.

I like this one better.

I made color and black and white copies of all the photos and doctored them in Photoshop accordingly. Let me know what you think.

... By the way, happy New Year, everyone! Ich hoffe, ihr seid alle mit einem guten Rutsch ins neue Jahr gekommen!

The year in food 2006

2006-12-27T10:43:00.000-05:00

Great New York Times Dining section today (thank you, Mr. Pete Wells). I pulled a great quote from Eric Asimov's weekly wine column, and there was a great article that voiced my thoughts about the trend this year that many of the people becoming well-known in the food world aren't professionally trained at all. Gives me hope that I don't have to spend $50,000 and nine months for a culinary degree to succeed in the epicurean world.

"Honestly, I don't drink wine for my health. That's what carrots and broccoli are for. I drink it because I love it, because it's a never-ending pleasure, and because meals with wine always beat meals without wine." - Eric Asimov, "A Year of Treats for the Palate, by the Sip and the Barrel," The New York Times, Dec. 27, 2006

Chris got me a digital camera for Christmas! You can bet there'll be a lot more photos up here in due time. Saturday we're heading to Long Island to stay with his aunt and uncle for New Year's. We'll be bringing in the new year in Greenwich Village. I'm so pumped. After that, I'm going to visit him in Buffalo from Jan. 4 to 8, taking the train, as usual. The rest of my vacation holds wonderful potential.

Keep your eyes on the road, your hands upon the wheel

2006-12-24T13:21:00.000-05:00

It's Christmas break, and I actually made Dean's List this semester, much to my extreme surprise. We celebrated Christmas last night with my mom's side of the family, since on Christmas day we're going to Buffalo to see Nana and celebrate with her and that side of the family.

Chris is here, but it'll be hard for us to see each other because it's Christmas Eve and both our families are busy with our own stuff. We hung out a little last night, though. Luckily, we're staying in Buffalo until Wednesday, so there'll be time to see him then, too.

I got the Dow Jones Newspaper Fund internship! I'll be at the New Bedford Standard Times this summer in New Bedford, Mass. A two-week orientation takes place at Penn State from May 20 to June 1, and then the week after that my internship starts. Dow Jones pays for everything -- transportation, meals, accommodations to and from the orientation and to and from orientation to the internship site. I'm so excited. New Bedford is right on the water, near Cape Cod, in southern Massachussetts. It's 30 miles east of Providence, R.I., and 60 miles south of Boston. A la "Almost Famous," "It's all happening."

I got a lot of good things for Christmas, most having to do with cooking. A new casserole dish, an 8x8x2-inch glass baking dish, a food processor, a neat salad spinner with its own stop function. As it was, I just wasted $20 on a new filter and filter basket for my steam espresso machine, since I thought I'd lost the filter basket and when I went to get a new one online I had to buy both the filter and the basket together. Altogether it came to about $23. A couple days later, of course, the lost filter basket was found. So frustrating!

I kind of came out to my family last night that I'm agnostic. Needless to say, my mom didn't seem too pleased. We were sitting at the dinner table talking about heaven, and I said something about how all sin is equal, and my family was like that's right, that's good, I'm like well I may not be a Christian, but it's not like I totally forgot about the things I learned growing up. To that, my mom said, "Well, if you're not a Christian, than what are you?" My reply: "Agnostic." The look she gave me said more than she could have ever expressed verbally. It made me feel bad, but this is who I am. I'm not going to change my life just because it doesn't meet their ideals of how a person should be. I'm 21 years old; they've done their work, and I'd say I came out pretty well. It's time to let me have my own opinions and beliefs. For the most part, they've been good about that. It just frustrates me that they continue to try to get me to go to church and push me back in the direction of the religion I started giving up about five years ago. If I do go back, it will be my own decision and my own will, not because of their influence.

Come my friends and share some wine

2006-12-15T13:34:00.000-05:00

Holiday quiet on these streets
except for some stubborn leaves
that didn't fall with the fall,
and now they clatter in vain.
Holiday sky, midnight clear.
Wind is high, hard to steer.
Old muffler rumbles like an old fighter plane
in search of some rest
in search of a break
from a life of tests where something's always at stake,
where something's always so far.
What about my broken car?
What about my life so far?
What about my dream?

What about everything?
What about airplanes?
What about ships that drank the sea?
What about the moon and stars?
What about soldiers' battle scars
and all the anger that they eat?
I am not in need.

Get away and come with me,
come away with me and we'll see
if I was right on that night that a future was made
before time takes each year,
like a knife cuts it clear.
It's school then work and then life
that just sharpens the blade.
I think about time for fun.
I think about time for play.
Then I think about being done with no resume,
with no one left to blame.
What about fortune and fame?
What about your love to obtain?
What about the ring?

Holiday quiet on these streets
except for some reason me.
The hometown harbor lights bright;
the sailboats clatter in vain.
Holiday sky, midnight clear.
Wind is high on this pier.
I find it hard to complain when compared with what about.

What about aliens?
What about you and me?
And what about gold beneath the sea?
What about when buildings fall?
What about that midnight phone call,
the one that wakes you from your peace?
Well, I am not in need.

- Carbon Leaf, "What About Everything?"

Barely legal

2006-12-12T11:38:00.000-05:00

So I'm 21. I've been waiting for this day for about five years now, and finally it's here. Let me tell you: It feels awesome. I can't wait to go to the liquor store or a bar and hand the cashier or bouncer or bartender my ID and not be turned away. That'll be an amazing feeling, considering all the rejection I've had to go through these past few years, haha. It's time I got mine, along with all the other people who've been turned down at the bar!

Thanks to everyone who sent me warm wishes of happy birthday. You guys are awesome. It's great to realize what wonderful friends you have, especially on your birthday. I wish I could keep in touch with them more than I do sometimes, but with time and distance and a busy schedule, it's difficult. You're all in my thoughts constantly.

Last weekend in Buffalo was great. I accompanied Chris at his company party, did some drinking on Elmwood, did some Christmas shopping and just hung out with Chris and his roommates and friends. All around it was amazing, and things can only keep getting better.

So who's up for Chuck's or Faegan's tonight? Maybe a nice bottle of Chianti? ;)

The joy of cooking

2006-11-18T21:18:00.000-05:00

Here's a dish my roommate made tonight from one of my recipe books. I've actually made it a couple times before myself for my family using chicken thighs instead of boneless breasts. She and her boyfriend baked the chicken in a casserole dish with sauteed garlic, onion, bell pepper and white wine, then added in some green olives and heavy cream at the end and served it all over penne. I offered a bit of guidance along the way, especially with regard to the chopping and sauteeing processes. I'm so proud of them.

Last night we all watched "The DaVinci Code," which my roommate had bought at Target. By the time it was over, it was around 1 a.m., so I went to bed without going out, but that was OK. It was nice spending a night in with her and her boyfriend, who is also a good friend of mine. Tonight we're watching Rutgers on TV, and hopefully a friend of mine across the street will be done with his homework by the time the game's over so we can hang out for a few hours. I just got word that he and another friend of mine are going to London next semester, so I'm kind of sad that I won't get to spend time with them in spring. Things were going so well, too.

My magazine class project is almost finished! Just a few loose ends, and then it should be done. I plan on spending Sunday tying up those ends, and Monday at work will be devoted to proofreading and editing it down for clarity and to stay to-the-point. I'm so relieved it's almost over.

Scott's coming on Sunday. It'll be nice to have him around. I just hope I have enough to feed him; I'm purposefully letting my food supply run down because I'll be gone from next Tuesday to Sunday, so there's no sense in going out and buying a bunch of stuff that will probably spoil by the time I get back. Nevertheless, there will be a lot to bring home, too. There always is.

The time has come, the walrus said

2006-11-13T12:02:00.000-05:00

Today's the day to enroll in classes for spring semester. I've been regularly checking the Web site to make sure the classes I want are still there. Luckily, all of them are. Come 1:15 p.m., we'll see for sure if I get them or not. Luckily, I'm at work, so I have easy access to a computer.

After my shift ends at 2:30, I'm going to the post office in Marshall Square Mall to mail out six internship applications, then I'll head home and start thinking about dinner. I'm planning on farfalle with peas, yellow bell pepper, spinach and tomato cooked in some of the vegetable stock I made over the weekend. Then, I hope to stop procrastinating long enough to write another 700 words or so of my magazine profile. I got through about 750 last night, and I figure if I can do about 700 words a day, I'll be more than set for the due date. I was surprised at how long it took me to come up with those first 750 words last night, though. It took about an hour and a half or so. Maybe that's why I try to put it off as long as possible. Oh well -- if I keep nagging myself about it every day, those 700 words a night will get done. Besides, having time in the evening really helps.

Today's a gym day. No skirting it. Hard days are normally Monday and Fridays, and I give myself a break on Wednesday, going for only 18 minutes on the EFX instead of the usual 25.

Worried about Dow Jones ...

If only summer rain would fall on the houses and the boulevard

2006-11-10T09:48:00.000-05:00

Yum. Apple pie. And I made a healthier version of it ... or at least that's what I let myself think. By my calculations, each piece contains only about 250 calories (assuming the pie has eight slices). I didn't even dare start calculating fat content or any of that. What do you think I am, a math whiz?

Interviews and outlines have been written and critiqued, and now it's time to begin writing the real thing: the Food & Wine profile, which is due Nov. 21. Sure, there's time, but I'd like to get started early so I'm not dumped with bunches of pages to write before deadline. Who knows what could arise in the coming weeks that would hinder me from getting my work done? As it is, Scott's visiting a couple days before break on his way home from Boston. Doubtless there'll be other menial tasks to complete for my other classes during the week. At least I got that Nutrition exam out of the way yesterday. Another 75? 65? I'm hoping for more this time.

Sound the gongs: I'm officially an English and textual studies minor. I'm going to wait until after the rush and bustle that comes with spring 2007 enrollment (my date is Nov. 13 at 1:15 p.m. -- I can enroll while at work) to begin the long and tedious process that is declaring my German major. Apparently I'll have to make The College of Arts and Sciences my home college, and that involves obtaining the necessary signatures to transfer all my credits and make it official. Luckily I don't have to fulfill the Arts and Sciences' core requirements, because I get grandfathered in from the Newhouse requirements. Well, I think it'll all be worth it to have "German language, literature and culture" appear above "magazine journalism" on my diploma. Hell, I can do anything with a German major ...

Riddle me this

2006-11-03T10:21:00.000-05:00

Doomsday has come and gone at last, and no longer do I have to worry about interviews and transcripts and recordings! Now comes the time for outline-writing, which I probably won't start until Monday at work. That's really the only time I get work done. Today is a day of rest, and tomorrow around 10 a.m. I'm going home until Sunday evening. I'll probably regret saving my workload until Monday, but hey, this is what the weekend is really for, right? Besides, family first.

I'm going to the gym earlier than usual today to EFX off some of the snacks I scarfed down last night, for reasons I will not choose to disclose. I swear, I'm cutting myself off.

I'm thinking of getting a haircut, and by haircut, I mean hardcore: not too short, but not as long as it is now, either. I printed out some pictures of the look I'm aiming for. I'm not sure if it would look any good, but I guess it'll grow back anyway, so why not experiment? I'm still a little wary about it, so we'll see. At any rate, my hair needs a major trim.

"House" is finally back on FOX Tuesday nights! Thank God ... it was getting to a point I didn't know what to do with myself, and downloaded episodes of Monday night's "Weeds" just weren't cutting it anymore. There was a song on this week's episode (of "House") that really impressed me: "Walter Reed" by a guy named Michael Penn. No, he's no relation to Sean, sadly, and apparently his career goes back to the '80s, which surprised me, because his style these days is anything but like that of 20 years ago, which I liked. I wanted to download the album the song's on, but unfortunately couldn't find it anywhere.

I may have finally found an inspiration for a novel. In my poetry class, I've been writing a lot of family memory-inspired freeform poems that have kind of come out a lot more prosy, like a story. Nevertheless, the class has liked them: the detail, the nostalgia. I think they would work better as stories, a bunch of images from my past put together in a detail-rich sketch of nostalgia. It's strange -- I thought by leaving and experiencing things on my own, I could find inspiration for a book, but it was really at home all along, with the interesting, small-town folk that I've become endeared to over the years. Small-town life kind of appeals to me, not necessarily as somewhere that I'd like to live, rather the people who live there. They're much more real, more interesting than people who live among denser populations. Hell, even Syracuseans are interesting people for the most part. Maybe it's just Central New York that gets me. I have been living here a combined 20 years, not counting the year I lived in Germany. Yes, I think it would all make for a very interesting story. You don't normally read books about small-town life in Upstate New York anymore, do you?

How I missed thee, Apfelschorle

2006-10-23T15:52:00.000-04:00

Mmm, Apfelschorle. For those of you who've been missing out on this delicious quaff, Apfelschorle is a European (more specifically, German) combination of apple juice and carbonated water. The result is a refreshing drink that tastes just like ... carbonated apple juice. I missed it so much I went out and bought some carbonated water just to make it, and then I just had to take a picture of the outcome with my new phone.

Maybe I should up the ante and splash in a little vodka just to see what happens ...

The sooner you leave, the sooner you're home

2006-10-21T10:11:00.000-04:00

Boo! Scary, huh? Just in time for Halloween in a couple weeks! This is a picture I took this morning (after just waking up - can't you tell?) with my new camera phone. I was eligible for an upgrade, so when I went home yesterday for yet another doctor's appointment (don't worry - I'm not dying yet), Mom and I stopped by the Verizon store to get a new phone. I wanted a Razr, but settled on this Samsung SCH930 instead, because Dad got the same one and Verizon had a 2-for-1 deal for that phone, so I basically got it for free. Though not exactly aesthetically pleasant, it's got the same features as the Razr, so I figured I'd sacrifice good looks to save myself $100. I need all the cash I can get at this point.

Haven't had my morning coffee yet. I went to bed around 2:30 a.m. last night, late for me nowadays. Heather and Rob were working on their internship packets, and after I came back from working one of the three weekend night shifts we have to do each semester (from 9:30 p.m. to midnight), we made fun of Paula Deen's new show on Food Network and just had a good time before heading to bed. Surprisingly, I'm not tired now.

I think I'll have some of those banana nut waffles I experimented with making in my panini grill a couple weeks ago. They've been in the freezer since.

My project is coming along slowly but surely. I did two interviews yesterday, and I have one set for Sunday afternoon. Two more to make Thursday's deadline of five transcripts! I think I can do it. I think I just get really impatient, because I know what it's like once crunch time rolls around and you have nothing, so I always get this urge at the beginning to get everything done as quickly as possible so I don't have to worry about the deadline. As it turns out, I end up freaking out even more, because I'm not patient enough to give people time to respond. Things should work out. I'm allowing myself today as a day of rest (though I will be typing up transcripts today) from the project. Tomorrow, it begins again. It'll work out; no worries. I'm getting more confident by the day.

Having a new phone that won't die on me every five minutes is also a confidence-booster. Now all I need is a nice iPod that won't die on me whenever I start it up ...

I look high and low for yesterday

2006-10-16T21:48:00.000-04:00

Home was nice. I stayed overnight at camp for the first time, and surprisingly it wasn't too cold, considering it's becoming that time where the temperatures get ever lower, especially up north. I did a lot of cooking and baking (freeform vegetable soup, pumpkin pie and an apple tart/pie) for the choir party/Aunt Mo's birthday bash we had over the weekend. Overall, I enjoyed getting away from everything.

But with escape comes the reintroduction into the real world and the old problems. Right now I'm going crazy over a big project for my magazine class: a profile on Food & Wine magazine. We have to interview at least 10 people, recording and writing out transcripts for each interview. So far I've scheduled two interviews, but both come after the first deadline -- Oct. 26 -- of when half the transcripts are due. I went on a bunch of wild goose chases today and sent out a barrage of e-mails, hoping to get in touch with people before it gets too late. I did so much work today (also aside from the project: I wrote this week's poem for my poetry class, did a paper due Thursday for one of my German classes and prepared some packages for upcoming deadlines for internship applications), and yet I still feel like I've lazed around and haven't really accomplished anything.

Maybe it's all this waiting around for people to respond to my e-mails. I wish there was something else I could do, but there really isn't anything more that can be done now (at least until tomorrow) other than wait. It gets on my nerves. At least I'm proud of the poem I wrote today: an "essay" in free verse.

I have to go back home Friday for another visit to the doctor, this time to find out the results of the mega-uncomfortable test I underwent last week. I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

In addition, I'll be working extra this week. I signed up for a Friday-evening shift. Next Monday I'll be working an unbelievable 9:30 a.m. to 4:30 p.m., because the girl who comes in at 2:30 can't be there for her shift, so I said I'd take it. I have nothing better to do, anyway ... or do I?

My name is hope -- luck just ran out

2006-10-04T10:24:00.000-04:00

Another day, another shift at Goldstein. I like this job. Sure, it may not pay as well as The Buffalo News, but it does pay better than The Daily Orange, and for less hours, too. If you're interested, here is my work schedule:

Monday 9:30 a.m. to 2:30 p.m.
Wednesday 9:30 a.m. to 12:30 p.m.

This weekend is going to be nuts. Scott's coming back for visit No. 2 on Thursday. He'll stay with Heather and me until Friday, because Saturday I'm off via Amtrak to Buffalo. I can't wait for that adventure. I love traveling. Alone, with people -- it's all exciting. It'll be nice to visit the city I spent the summer in, especially with old friends (and various members of rock 'n' roll bands). On Sunday, Jeremy and I are going to check out the Tea Leaf Green show at the Town Ballroom on Main Street. I hope the band members recognize me. I'm looking forward to a reprisal of Trevor's and my "Jesus Christ Superstar" singing extravaganza.

I leave Monday morning for Syracuse. I'm really hoping my train comes in on time, because my mom will be there to pick me up at the Regional Transit Center to bring me home in time (with hope) for an important doctor's appointment. After that, I hope to spend some time at home and head back to Syracuse in the evening. I still haven't found someone to work my shift that day. I hope everything works out, because there's absolutely no way I can cover it myself.

From Oct. 12 to 15, I'm coming home! I have a feeling it was the pills, but last week I had these intense feelings of homesickness, this incredible pull to go home and get back to my roots, enjoying the small-town life. I bought a bunch of Lillian Jackson Braun's "Cat Who ..." books, because they feature small-town life in such a way that reminds me of home, and reading them has staved off my urges, at least for the present. I'm feeling better now. Knowing that I'll be spending a long weekend at home also helps. It's also the perfect weekend to be home, too, because of my aunt's birthday on the 13th. I hope to do a lot of cooking. Is it Thanksgiving break yet? Or even better, winter break? God, it isn't even mid-semester ...

I shouldn't be feeling that way. College is for enjoying, isn't it? Well, I shouldn't act like I don't enjoy it. Weekends, parties, little to no parental oversight ... how could someone my age not like that? I'd be lying if I said I didn't. But there comes a time when you have to put that aside for a while and get back to the things that really matter.

Geez, I'm becoming more traditional with each passing day. I hope I don't end up as a country bumpkin-esque housewife ...

Falling in love with macchiato mugs

2006-09-02T14:03:00.000-04:00

OK, so I may not have made pancakes for lunch, but I did have a nice bowl of cereal in one of my new blue cereal/soup bowls, along with an apple. I also made a heaping batch of carrot soup, loaded with spices and other vegetables: garlic, onion, green bell pepper and potatoes. The recipe called for vegetable stock, but I used water, and it came out pretty well. I got to use the new blender; there were a few chunks of carrot and potato, but that makes the soup more rustic-tasting.

Coffee was on the menu as well. After waking up at 9:15 a.m., I brewed a nice cappuccino into a sleek white macchiato cup that I have grown to love. Small and thin, it works well for any hot drink: coffee, espresso, tea, hot chocolate, etc. Later on, I made a cup of my Starbucks French roast coffee in the Cafe Uno brewer. A splash of milk and a packet of Splenda later, and I've got a nice cup of joe sitting in that macchiato cup on a decorative saucer I got in a set from a garage sale last summer.

Got the party tonight. Last night I chilled with Jeremy -- God, it's been a long time. I hope to start hanging out more with that crowd. Anyway, I'm hoping the party tonight will allow me to unwind, have some fun with some old friends.

I really want to go home, spend four days or so with my family, regardless of what the weather would be like. Maybe I won't have to start work until later, so I can go home next weekend. For some reason, I long to be there. It's just so relaxing, and I get along with everyone. I love cooking there, where anything I make receives rave reviews. I don't have to worry about work, just what dishes I'll be making next. My bed is comfortable and familiar. The house is familiar and reminiscent of my childhood. It's (mostly) warm and nostalgic. I can go wherever I want with my parents' cars, if they're available. I know what's going on, but at the same time I never know what's going to happen next. I can retreat to our camp, light a fire and sit back. Yeah, I really need to go home, if only for four days. Next weekend, for sure.